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qiaosilin 's review for:
Stormdancer
by Jay Kristoff
Stormdancer is about a teenager, Yukiko, who goes on a search for a thunder tiger (gryphon, but with the body of a white tiger instead of a lion) on the orders of the shogun.
NOTE: I don't claim to have an all-encompassing knowledge of Japan, its peoples and its culture. I have, however, taken Japanese language classes for four years and have been to Japan and stayed with a home-stay family. This means I at least have the most basic knowledge.
WARNING: This review is going to be based on gradings and it is extremely long. Also, there is a large focus on language as it is what I know the most about because of the above note and my academic career in linguistics.
Japanese Language D
(1) The usage of honourifics, specifically -sama (さま; 様)
First off, I'd like to point out that there is a glossary in the back of the book that gives some information on the honourifics that show up in the book (-chan, -san and -sama). The information in the glossary is fairly accurate and is what you'd find in a published English translation of any manga.
Unfortunately, Kristoff misuses the honourifics left, right and centre, even though the glossary outlines the specific usage! Clearly someone working at the publishing house researched the information for the glossary.
What I wanted to say about how Kristoff uses the honourifics is this: -sama is frequently used as a noun instead of a suffix. Many of the characters, including the protagonist, use it as a noun, often referring to characters of higher rank and even those one wouldn't use that honourific for. Yukiko calls people "Sama" even if they're not necessarily above her status/rank. Random people on the street can be "sama" in Stormdancer. This is seriously infuriating if you know anything about Japanese.
As for -san, it's barely used even though it's the best one to use if you're unaware of another's rank.
-chan is inaccurately used as well. Two women of different ages and different backgrounds (and therefore different status) who've just met do not use -chan with each other. That's just not how the honourific works.
-kun and -dono are not used at all, even though they should have been. Especially -dono with regards to the shogun.
(2) The usage of hai (はい)
Kristoff uses hai as a literal "yes". While you can use it as "yes", Japanese requires you to repeat what was asked.
It is not used as a rhetorical prompt or a confirmation check or a flat "yes". It is not the literal equivalent of "yes" and it is not an equivalent of "eh?".
The only time I can recall a straight hai without a repetition or addition is for this kind of interaction:
Between a teacher and a student (also works in a boss-employee, lord-servant interaction)
But even with that kind of interaction, one can still answer:
Either way, the usage in the book is all wrong.
(3) Nicknames
The only nickname in the book is Ichigo (いちご; 苺), meaning "strawberry", for Yukiko. From what I know, nicknames in Japanese don't work like this; fruit/sweet-related nicknames like "cupcake" and "sweetie" are more of a Western thing.
I've done some handy Googling and come up with some answers for Japanese nicknames (some of which I've seen previously). Basically, Yukiko's nickname should have been one of the following:
i) Yuu-chan
ii) Yuki-chan
iii) Kitsuyuki (キツユキ)
iv) a variation of her name in kanji, although her name would be written as 雪子 and there is no alternative pronunciation of those kanji
v) YukiYuki (ユキユキ), albeit less commonly
As the only person who has a nickname for Yukiko, her father would probably only use i) or ii) (at the most). But in the society Kristoff displays, I find it doubtful that he would use a nickname at all.
(4) The contraction of nouns
There are only two instances I can recall this happening, but I've seen it a bunch of times in fanfiction as well, and it still irks me, so here it is: Japanese is a syllabic (more specifically, moraic) language (meaning the language consists of a specific kind of syllables) and anyone who has studied it knows that words cannot end on a consonant with the exception of ん (n). Because of the moraic quality of the language, sometimes it sounds like you're saying dess instead of desu (です; copula verb). These are not purposefully contracted, it's just the way the syllable weight is.
So that means when I see contractions like Kas' for Kasumi (p. 57) and yak' for yakuza (p. 52), I get more than a little frustrated. Aside from the fact that you can't contract yakuza because of its literal meaning of 8-9-3 (or ya-ku-sa), Kas' would be considered a nickname, at least in my book, and so it falls under the issues I outlined in the nicknames section above.
(5) Rōmaji representation of long vowels
Traditionally, translators have used macrons for elongated vowels and, although I prefer to have each kana character romanized entirely (as opposed to the macrons), I accept that their way of doing it makes it easier to pronounce, i.e., people will pronounce yōkai more accurately than youkai, which could lead some to pronounce as /yu-kai/.
Except Kristoff incorporates both ways of transliterating. We get the normal yōkai spelling, but we also get Buruu, the gryphon's name. That should be Burū. I realize that there's no way of mispronouncing Buruu/Burū like there is with yōkai/youkai, but at least be consistent!
(6) sararīmen (サラリーマン; salaryman)
Just two points for this one:
i) Japanese nouns have no grammatical number, so sararīmen is an impossible utterance; you can only have sararīman.
ii) Those who are called a salaryman have salary-based income/are white-collar workers. It would be simpler and less exoticizing if they were just called businessmen.
The only reason this section doesn't get an F grade is because there were some minute instances where honourifics were used correctly. But they were very minute.
Worldbuilding/Language D
You might be thinking, "Aren't language and Japanese language basically the same thing?" Normally, I would say yes, but this book makes it difficult to actually know if the characters are speaking Japanese or not. Some of the words are translated for other characters, as if some of the characters aren't speaking Japanese. For instance, arashi-no-ko (嵐の子; child of the storm, storm's child, storm child) (p. 207) gets mistranslated as "storm girl" for Buruu, so that means Yukiko and Buruu haven't been speaking Japanese the entire time? I don't know, man.
Worldbuilding-wise, I had a hard time picturing the setting, not for the lack of description (I would say there is almost too much description). Mostly it was hard to reconcile the idea of feudal Japan (1185-1868 CE) and the Edo/Tokugawa period (1603-1868 CE) with steam punk. This is because the current modernity of Japan started with the Meiji Restoration and era (明治時代; 1868-1912 CE) and that is what I associate with industrialization in Japan (feel free to correct me on this).
However, my main issue with the worldbuilding is that it seemed like an amalgamation of different Asian cultures into one and that Japam was an exotic background for the story. You want some examples? Let's give them some examples, Pierce.
(1) nagaraja (p. 38)
You can probably tell just by looking at the word that it comes from India and if you were to guess which language spoken in India you'd probably pick Hindi and you would be close -- it's a Sanskrit word and it is derived from the words for snake (naga) and king (raja). In Hinduism, a religion that hasn't historically spread to Japan like Buddhism has (I can't speak for now), the term applies to three gods. In Stormdancer, the word just means some snake-like beast. Cultural appropriation!
(2) aiya (p. 35)
At first, it's possible to see that this may be a Japanese expression of exasperation -- that is, if you don't know any Chinese people. Aiya is a well-used expression by Chinese people; My grandparents have said it, my Chinese friends have said it, I've said it. The Japanese have an equivalent of this expression: it's ara/arama (あら/あらま). Use it, Kristoff; don't just take half of my family's culture and appropriate it for exotic-ness.
This section doesn't fail because there is a good idea hiding in the depths of this cultural appropriation and exoticizing, but it's really hard to see.
Weapons B
Most of the weapons were what I expected: wakizashi, tantō, kusarigama, etc. While I can't say what time periods all of the weapons were used in, so some of them may have been obsolete for the setting of the novel, I can say that they are proper weapons from Japan.
Now, here's the reason for the B grade: chainsaw katana. Here is what I think: that is a stupid idea. A katana is able to render a chainsaw useless. A chainsaw is just serrated blades running really fast. You'd also need a large enough motor and enough fuel to keep it running, which might unbalance the katana and result in strained forearm muscles, muscle or kinesiological problems later on. Plus, the Mythbusters team showed that a katana is formidable enough to cut a head off cleanly and quickly. Not only that, but what's the point of this weapon being a katana if you can't even use its blade, just the chainsaw? This weapon is less cool than everyone seems to think. Nobody made a real chainkatana because it's not a great idea, it's just a thinner chainsaw. The idiocy of this weapon idea makes me
Love Interest F
This grade is based solely on the fact that our love interest samurai has sea-green eyes. Yep, you heard me, sea-green eyes. If you have the time (and you must have if you've read this far!), I suggest you read Linda's thoughts on the subject. Here's the thing: Asian people are rarely regarded in Western culture as desirable and their features, especially eyes, are considered too "squinty" and unattractive. And then we get people who think it's okay to do something like this:
Or this:
What I'm getting at is that "chink/chinky eyes" is hurtful and degrading to not only me, but the entirety of East Asia/South-East Asia. And to have the idea that green eyes, a more common white trait, is more physically appealing than the normal brown eyes for Asians just enforces white as the standard for beauty. It's not okay.
Unfortunately, I don't have the will to write everything else I wanted to touch upon in this review. It's getting way too long as it is and I'm certain other reviewers have the same complaints or issues with what I've outlined here and more, such as characters (and Buruu's weird and irritating ALL CAPS SPEECH THAT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE HE IS YELLING AT YOU STOP OR HE'S GIVING YOU A TELEGRAM), what appears to be a lack of research done into Japanese culture/history/etc., and the aversion to naming the specific breeds of either of the two dogs that appear (There are only about 11 or so native ones after all -- and only one terrier breed -- just pick one!).
My rating boils down to 2 stars because I think I've read worse books, despite how dire my grading looks on paper.
NOTE: I don't claim to have an all-encompassing knowledge of Japan, its peoples and its culture. I have, however, taken Japanese language classes for four years and have been to Japan and stayed with a home-stay family. This means I at least have the most basic knowledge.
WARNING: This review is going to be based on gradings and it is extremely long. Also, there is a large focus on language as it is what I know the most about because of the above note and my academic career in linguistics.
Japanese Language D
(1) The usage of honourifics, specifically -sama (さま; 様)
First off, I'd like to point out that there is a glossary in the back of the book that gives some information on the honourifics that show up in the book (-chan, -san and -sama). The information in the glossary is fairly accurate and is what you'd find in a published English translation of any manga.
Unfortunately, Kristoff misuses the honourifics left, right and centre, even though the glossary outlines the specific usage! Clearly someone working at the publishing house researched the information for the glossary.
What I wanted to say about how Kristoff uses the honourifics is this: -sama is frequently used as a noun instead of a suffix. Many of the characters, including the protagonist, use it as a noun, often referring to characters of higher rank and even those one wouldn't use that honourific for. Yukiko calls people "Sama" even if they're not necessarily above her status/rank. Random people on the street can be "sama" in Stormdancer. This is seriously infuriating if you know anything about Japanese.
As for -san, it's barely used even though it's the best one to use if you're unaware of another's rank.
-chan is inaccurately used as well. Two women of different ages and different backgrounds (and therefore different status) who've just met do not use -chan with each other. That's just not how the honourific works.
-kun and -dono are not used at all, even though they should have been. Especially -dono with regards to the shogun.
(2) The usage of hai (はい)
Kristoff uses hai as a literal "yes". While you can use it as "yes", Japanese requires you to repeat what was asked.
e.g. 犬がありますか？
inu-ga arimasu-ka?
Do you have a dog?
はい、あります。
hai, arimasu.
Yes, I have (a dog).
It is not used as a rhetorical prompt or a confirmation check or a flat "yes". It is not the literal equivalent of "yes" and it is not an equivalent of "eh?".
The only time I can recall a straight hai without a repetition or addition is for this kind of interaction:
Between a teacher and a student (also works in a boss-employee, lord-servant interaction)
e.g. 学生、座って。
gakusei, suwatte.
Student, sit (down).
はい。
hai.
Yes (I will do that).
But even with that kind of interaction, one can still answer:
はい、分かります。
hai, wakarimasu.
Yes, I understand.
Either way, the usage in the book is all wrong.
(3) Nicknames
The only nickname in the book is Ichigo (いちご; 苺), meaning "strawberry", for Yukiko. From what I know, nicknames in Japanese don't work like this; fruit/sweet-related nicknames like "cupcake" and "sweetie" are more of a Western thing.
I've done some handy Googling and come up with some answers for Japanese nicknames (some of which I've seen previously). Basically, Yukiko's nickname should have been one of the following:
i) Yuu-chan
ii) Yuki-chan
iii) Kitsuyuki (キツユキ)
iv) a variation of her name in kanji, although her name would be written as 雪子 and there is no alternative pronunciation of those kanji
v) YukiYuki (ユキユキ), albeit less commonly
As the only person who has a nickname for Yukiko, her father would probably only use i) or ii) (at the most). But in the society Kristoff displays, I find it doubtful that he would use a nickname at all.
(4) The contraction of nouns
There are only two instances I can recall this happening, but I've seen it a bunch of times in fanfiction as well, and it still irks me, so here it is: Japanese is a syllabic (more specifically, moraic) language (meaning the language consists of a specific kind of syllables) and anyone who has studied it knows that words cannot end on a consonant with the exception of ん (n). Because of the moraic quality of the language, sometimes it sounds like you're saying dess instead of desu (です; copula verb). These are not purposefully contracted, it's just the way the syllable weight is.
So that means when I see contractions like Kas' for Kasumi (p. 57) and yak' for yakuza (p. 52), I get more than a little frustrated. Aside from the fact that you can't contract yakuza because of its literal meaning of 8-9-3 (or ya-ku-sa), Kas' would be considered a nickname, at least in my book, and so it falls under the issues I outlined in the nicknames section above.
(5) Rōmaji representation of long vowels
Traditionally, translators have used macrons for elongated vowels and, although I prefer to have each kana character romanized entirely (as opposed to the macrons), I accept that their way of doing it makes it easier to pronounce, i.e., people will pronounce yōkai more accurately than youkai, which could lead some to pronounce as /yu-kai/.
Except Kristoff incorporates both ways of transliterating. We get the normal yōkai spelling, but we also get Buruu, the gryphon's name. That should be Burū. I realize that there's no way of mispronouncing Buruu/Burū like there is with yōkai/youkai, but at least be consistent!
(6) sararīmen (サラリーマン; salaryman)
Just two points for this one:
i) Japanese nouns have no grammatical number, so sararīmen is an impossible utterance; you can only have sararīman.
ii) Those who are called a salaryman have salary-based income/are white-collar workers. It would be simpler and less exoticizing if they were just called businessmen.
The only reason this section doesn't get an F grade is because there were some minute instances where honourifics were used correctly. But they were very minute.
Worldbuilding/Language D
You might be thinking, "Aren't language and Japanese language basically the same thing?" Normally, I would say yes, but this book makes it difficult to actually know if the characters are speaking Japanese or not. Some of the words are translated for other characters, as if some of the characters aren't speaking Japanese. For instance, arashi-no-ko (嵐の子; child of the storm, storm's child, storm child) (p. 207) gets mistranslated as "storm girl" for Buruu, so that means Yukiko and Buruu haven't been speaking Japanese the entire time? I don't know, man.
Worldbuilding-wise, I had a hard time picturing the setting, not for the lack of description (I would say there is almost too much description). Mostly it was hard to reconcile the idea of feudal Japan (1185-1868 CE) and the Edo/Tokugawa period (1603-1868 CE) with steam punk. This is because the current modernity of Japan started with the Meiji Restoration and era (明治時代; 1868-1912 CE) and that is what I associate with industrialization in Japan (feel free to correct me on this).
However, my main issue with the worldbuilding is that it seemed like an amalgamation of different Asian cultures into one and that Japam was an exotic background for the story. You want some examples? Let's give them some examples, Pierce.
(1) nagaraja (p. 38)
You can probably tell just by looking at the word that it comes from India and if you were to guess which language spoken in India you'd probably pick Hindi and you would be close -- it's a Sanskrit word and it is derived from the words for snake (naga) and king (raja). In Hinduism, a religion that hasn't historically spread to Japan like Buddhism has (I can't speak for now), the term applies to three gods. In Stormdancer, the word just means some snake-like beast. Cultural appropriation!
(2) aiya (p. 35)
At first, it's possible to see that this may be a Japanese expression of exasperation -- that is, if you don't know any Chinese people. Aiya is a well-used expression by Chinese people; My grandparents have said it, my Chinese friends have said it, I've said it. The Japanese have an equivalent of this expression: it's ara/arama (あら/あらま). Use it, Kristoff; don't just take half of my family's culture and appropriate it for exotic-ness.
This section doesn't fail because there is a good idea hiding in the depths of this cultural appropriation and exoticizing, but it's really hard to see.
Weapons B
Most of the weapons were what I expected: wakizashi, tantō, kusarigama, etc. While I can't say what time periods all of the weapons were used in, so some of them may have been obsolete for the setting of the novel, I can say that they are proper weapons from Japan.
Now, here's the reason for the B grade: chainsaw katana. Here is what I think: that is a stupid idea. A katana is able to render a chainsaw useless. A chainsaw is just serrated blades running really fast. You'd also need a large enough motor and enough fuel to keep it running, which might unbalance the katana and result in strained forearm muscles, muscle or kinesiological problems later on. Plus, the Mythbusters team showed that a katana is formidable enough to cut a head off cleanly and quickly. Not only that, but what's the point of this weapon being a katana if you can't even use its blade, just the chainsaw? This weapon is less cool than everyone seems to think. Nobody made a real chainkatana because it's not a great idea, it's just a thinner chainsaw. The idiocy of this weapon idea makes me
Love Interest F
This grade is based solely on the fact that our love interest samurai has sea-green eyes. Yep, you heard me, sea-green eyes. If you have the time (and you must have if you've read this far!), I suggest you read Linda's thoughts on the subject. Here's the thing: Asian people are rarely regarded in Western culture as desirable and their features, especially eyes, are considered too "squinty" and unattractive. And then we get people who think it's okay to do something like this:
Or this:
What I'm getting at is that "chink/chinky eyes" is hurtful and degrading to not only me, but the entirety of East Asia/South-East Asia. And to have the idea that green eyes, a more common white trait, is more physically appealing than the normal brown eyes for Asians just enforces white as the standard for beauty. It's not okay.
Unfortunately, I don't have the will to write everything else I wanted to touch upon in this review. It's getting way too long as it is and I'm certain other reviewers have the same complaints or issues with what I've outlined here and more, such as characters (and Buruu's weird and irritating ALL CAPS SPEECH THAT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE HE IS YELLING AT YOU STOP OR HE'S GIVING YOU A TELEGRAM), what appears to be a lack of research done into Japanese culture/history/etc., and the aversion to naming the specific breeds of either of the two dogs that appear (There are only about 11 or so native ones after all -- and only one terrier breed -- just pick one!).
My rating boils down to 2 stars because I think I've read worse books, despite how dire my grading looks on paper.