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A review by yuzu_149
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
I think this book falls under the category of "I like it" because I resonate with the author's struggles, but I also get why some people may not enjoy it, because it's just such a raw, candid sharing of her personal experiences. The book is a collection of transcribed recordings between the author and her therapist, with an epilogue at the back where the author and the therapist shares their final thoughts.
The writing is not always polished, and the thoughts expressed sometimes sound convoluted and contradictory. But then isn't that what makes us all human? When we get anxious, stressed or just don't feel well, that's how our thoughts are - when I journal, I also feel like I'm trying to find clarity through a huge fog of jumbled up feelings and emotions.
It felt comforting to read her struggles because I also struggled with similar things. And I found myself highlighting a lot throughout the book - it can be a relief to read and find the words that describe what I've felt a lot of the times. The state where you feel anxious, down and stressed out on a lot of days - and yet, it isn't exactly serious enough to take drastic action.
A paragraph from the epilogue fo the book (written by the author's therapist) sums it all up very well, "This is a record of a very ordinary, incomplete person who meets another very ordinary, incomplete person, the latter of whom happens to be a therapist. The therapist makes some mistakes and has a bit of room for improvement, but life has always been like that, which means everyone’s life – our readers included – has the potential to become better. To our readers, who are perhaps down and out from having experienced much devastation or are living day-to-day in barely contained anxiety: I hope you will listen to a certain overlooked and different voice within you. Because the human heart, even when it wants to die, quite often wants at the same time to eat some tteokbokki, too."
The writing is not always polished, and the thoughts expressed sometimes sound convoluted and contradictory. But then isn't that what makes us all human? When we get anxious, stressed or just don't feel well, that's how our thoughts are - when I journal, I also feel like I'm trying to find clarity through a huge fog of jumbled up feelings and emotions.
It felt comforting to read her struggles because I also struggled with similar things. And I found myself highlighting a lot throughout the book - it can be a relief to read and find the words that describe what I've felt a lot of the times. The state where you feel anxious, down and stressed out on a lot of days - and yet, it isn't exactly serious enough to take drastic action.
A paragraph from the epilogue fo the book (written by the author's therapist) sums it all up very well, "This is a record of a very ordinary, incomplete person who meets another very ordinary, incomplete person, the latter of whom happens to be a therapist. The therapist makes some mistakes and has a bit of room for improvement, but life has always been like that, which means everyone’s life – our readers included – has the potential to become better. To our readers, who are perhaps down and out from having experienced much devastation or are living day-to-day in barely contained anxiety: I hope you will listen to a certain overlooked and different voice within you. Because the human heart, even when it wants to die, quite often wants at the same time to eat some tteokbokki, too."
Content Warnings
Moderate: Body shaming, Fatphobia, Bullying, and Eating disorder