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ginkgotree 's review for:
This book was not what I expected. I thought it would be more of a parenting manual based on other cultural practices, along the lines of [b:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting|13152287|Bringing Up Bébé One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting|Pamela Druckerman|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1327009243l/13152287._SY75_.jpg|17885255] (which Ali Wong refers to in her book [b:Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, & Advice for Living Your Best Life|44600621|Dear Girls Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, & Advice for Living Your Best Life|Ali Wong|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1553635552l/44600621._SY75_.jpg|69234815]) as "that book of LIES") or [b:Achtung Baby: An American Mom on the German Art of Raising Self-Reliant Children|34930861|Achtung Baby An American Mom on the German Art of Raising Self-Reliant Children|Sara Zaske|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1499703101l/34930861._SY75_.jpg|51606679].
It's not that at all. The LeVines are anthropologists, and this book describes some of the parenting practices they observed during their field work in Africa and Mexico (some of it fifty years ago, for what that's worth) and other anthropologists' work in Asia and Oceania. They describe some of the differences between parenting in wealthy industrialized cultures versus hunter-gatherer or agrarian communities. This is interesting, but, as someone with no background in anthropology, I also found it a little weird - there is something uncomfortable, almost colonialist, about white people observing the practices of people of color and presuming to draw conclusions about them from an outside perspective.
The final chapter concludes that contemporary American parents put too much pressure on themselves to optimize their child-rearing in order to give their children the best start in life, and suggests that the diversity of parenting practices across cultures indicate that children will turn out basically okay regardless. They also suggest that American parents can take what is best from other cultures, but the only concrete example of this they give is co-sleeping. I don't think the rest of the book supports this conclusion (reasonable though it may be) because it ignores the fact that these practices take place *within* a particular cultural context; if you borrow Xhosa parenting techniques, you might prepare a child to live in Xhosa society, but that is not necessarily what children need to thrive in American society.
More importantly, you can't meaningfully adopt another culture's parenting practices, because American society is set up with nuclear families. No family is an island. As Ali Wong says in her complaint about [b:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting|13152287|Bringing Up Bébé One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting|Pamela Druckerman|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1327009243l/13152287._SY75_.jpg|17885255], it's all very well to say you won't give your child snacks, but if every other kid on the playground is eating goldfish crackers, you'll probably end up letting your child eat goldfish crackers, too.
Still, the overall point - American parents can chill out a little, because children are pretty resilient - is reasonable enough. I just didn't find this book, interesting though it was, ultimately convincing in the way it arrives at this conclusion.
It's not that at all. The LeVines are anthropologists, and this book describes some of the parenting practices they observed during their field work in Africa and Mexico (some of it fifty years ago, for what that's worth) and other anthropologists' work in Asia and Oceania. They describe some of the differences between parenting in wealthy industrialized cultures versus hunter-gatherer or agrarian communities. This is interesting, but, as someone with no background in anthropology, I also found it a little weird - there is something uncomfortable, almost colonialist, about white people observing the practices of people of color and presuming to draw conclusions about them from an outside perspective.
The final chapter concludes that contemporary American parents put too much pressure on themselves to optimize their child-rearing in order to give their children the best start in life, and suggests that the diversity of parenting practices across cultures indicate that children will turn out basically okay regardless. They also suggest that American parents can take what is best from other cultures, but the only concrete example of this they give is co-sleeping. I don't think the rest of the book supports this conclusion (reasonable though it may be) because it ignores the fact that these practices take place *within* a particular cultural context; if you borrow Xhosa parenting techniques, you might prepare a child to live in Xhosa society, but that is not necessarily what children need to thrive in American society.
More importantly, you can't meaningfully adopt another culture's parenting practices, because American society is set up with nuclear families. No family is an island. As Ali Wong says in her complaint about [b:Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting|13152287|Bringing Up Bébé One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting|Pamela Druckerman|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1327009243l/13152287._SY75_.jpg|17885255], it's all very well to say you won't give your child snacks, but if every other kid on the playground is eating goldfish crackers, you'll probably end up letting your child eat goldfish crackers, too.
Still, the overall point - American parents can chill out a little, because children are pretty resilient - is reasonable enough. I just didn't find this book, interesting though it was, ultimately convincing in the way it arrives at this conclusion.