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A review by tallulahjt
Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity by Peggy Orenstein
1.0
I was so excited to read this and was unfortunately greatly disappointed. There are two primary things that made me hate this book:
First, I thought it would be predominantly interviews with men with little editing, allowing them to share their experiences in a candid, judgment-free environment. What Orenstein’s “journalism” manifests as is her paraphrasing these interviews (along with studies) and providing her own opinions. The author’s opinions were rife with judgment and assumptions that I personally disagree with (for example, that pleasure is primarily defined by orgasm).
Second, a better title for this book would be “White Men and Straight Sex” because she rarely solicited perspectives from men who were not white, cis, and straight. Of course those men have valuable stories to share, but for a book whose raison d’etre is having hard conversations, Orenstein did not try to interview subjects who did not fit into the binary. There are two chapters (of nine) that focus on queer, trans, and men of color, however, compartmentalizing them, I feel, others them in an uncomfortable way. Not including these men in the chapters with all the white, cis, straight men seemed to suggest that they are not “normal” men.
While I think some of Orenstein’s interjections and observations had value, most of them felt harmful and like they were contradicting the book’s mission. I’m very sad to give this book such a low rating but I cannot in good faith pretend that it was the empowering, revolutionary, look into young men’s perspectives I thought it would be.
First, I thought it would be predominantly interviews with men with little editing, allowing them to share their experiences in a candid, judgment-free environment. What Orenstein’s “journalism” manifests as is her paraphrasing these interviews (along with studies) and providing her own opinions. The author’s opinions were rife with judgment and assumptions that I personally disagree with (for example, that pleasure is primarily defined by orgasm).
Second, a better title for this book would be “White Men and Straight Sex” because she rarely solicited perspectives from men who were not white, cis, and straight. Of course those men have valuable stories to share, but for a book whose raison d’etre is having hard conversations, Orenstein did not try to interview subjects who did not fit into the binary. There are two chapters (of nine) that focus on queer, trans, and men of color, however, compartmentalizing them, I feel, others them in an uncomfortable way. Not including these men in the chapters with all the white, cis, straight men seemed to suggest that they are not “normal” men.
While I think some of Orenstein’s interjections and observations had value, most of them felt harmful and like they were contradicting the book’s mission. I’m very sad to give this book such a low rating but I cannot in good faith pretend that it was the empowering, revolutionary, look into young men’s perspectives I thought it would be.