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cellular_cosmogony 's review for:
For Real
by Alexis Hall
CW: loss of a loved one and grief, explicit sexual content including kink (domination and submission, impact play, public bdsm spaces), some moments of slightly dubious consent (that get ironed out as Toby and Laurie get their d/s dynamic down
I didn't expect to enjoy a romance with such a big age gap, however, if there was even an author who could pull off such a relationship and make it healthy, it would be Alexis Hall. While the age gap is acknowledged, it's made clear that the relationship isn't unequal - and that's achieved not just by making the older guy the sub and the younger the dom, but through the characters' internal narration and love for one another.
There is a gap in their experience for sure but part of Laurie's love for Toby is about witnessing him gain that experience, become more of his own person and get more assertive, not just as a dom but in the other aspects of his life. Toby's character was perfectly written (even better than Laurie was) because he had so much going - I especially loved his complicated relationship with his mother, who might have made some mistakes due to being a teen mother, which forced her son to grow a bit sooner than he should have, but ultimately came to have a loving, if unconventional, relationship with him.
It was very impressive how Hall manages to convey Laurie and Toby's internal worlds through their sub/dom dynamic. Toby is extremely insecure, so he's the type to need a bunch of reassurance that he's doing what his partner wants and not crossing the line in any shape - which is great but not to the point it's limiting him and his partner. He's also a bit chaotic and all over the place, constantly bombarded by new experiences that he's eager to take in. Laurie, on the other hand, is still searching for the type of connection he had with his previous dom, who was his long-term partner, and hence knew his boundaries backward and forward. As a result he's grown disdainful of the kink community as a weak substitute - that's also why he's so resistant to using a safeword, a thing he associates with the clinical negotiations of playing with strangers.
As a whole, I did enjoy this - I think the story needed a bit more in terms of romantic bonding that wasn't kink or sex-based but what we got was fairly good.
I didn't expect to enjoy a romance with such a big age gap, however, if there was even an author who could pull off such a relationship and make it healthy, it would be Alexis Hall. While the age gap is acknowledged, it's made clear that the relationship isn't unequal - and that's achieved not just by making the older guy the sub and the younger the dom, but through the characters' internal narration and love for one another.
There is a gap in their experience for sure but part of Laurie's love for Toby is about witnessing him gain that experience, become more of his own person and get more assertive, not just as a dom but in the other aspects of his life. Toby's character was perfectly written (even better than Laurie was) because he had so much going - I especially loved his complicated relationship with his mother, who might have made some mistakes due to being a teen mother, which forced her son to grow a bit sooner than he should have, but ultimately came to have a loving, if unconventional, relationship with him.
It was very impressive how Hall manages to convey Laurie and Toby's internal worlds through their sub/dom dynamic. Toby is extremely insecure, so he's the type to need a bunch of reassurance that he's doing what his partner wants and not crossing the line in any shape - which is great but not to the point it's limiting him and his partner. He's also a bit chaotic and all over the place, constantly bombarded by new experiences that he's eager to take in. Laurie, on the other hand, is still searching for the type of connection he had with his previous dom, who was his long-term partner, and hence knew his boundaries backward and forward. As a result he's grown disdainful of the kink community as a weak substitute - that's also why he's so resistant to using a safeword, a thing he associates with the clinical negotiations of playing with strangers.
As a whole, I did enjoy this - I think the story needed a bit more in terms of romantic bonding that wasn't kink or sex-based but what we got was fairly good.