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neptour 's review for:

Thorne Princess by L.J. Shen
2.0

I really fell in love with LJ Shen’s stories and writing with “The Kiss Thief.” There was some content that didn’t fall in line with the characters and some positioning that didn’t make sense but overall, it was wonderful. I read all of her following books. I still look forward to her stories, however, I feel as though her stories are now all about the repartee between the two main characters, and the character development and details are left hanging.
Ransom tells us about his upbringing and his need for rape scenario sex, but we don’t really get to find out how he reformed himself, and how he learned about family, relationships, and connections. Even if he is not into them, he seems to know how family dynamics work. By mid-story, he’s very passive. For someone who likes hard sex, he didn’t with the female main character. And the whole storyline about chasing a photographer to take the film out???? What was that? Either you take the memory card out or you delete it…
Brat is also a mess; however, she also doesn’t develop. She is always on her phone. Only in one place does it state that she uses Siri to send messages. Plus, you have to write captions and hashtags for the influencer’s social media posts. So, this does not make sense. Her parents also know that she can’t read, even though they don’t acknowledge it. Also, that they were hiding her learning disability also does not make sense. They would have the resources to hire tutors and still be able to keep it hidden, so why would they send written speech?
Plus, the whole scenario of the former President of the United States hiring a bodyguard to be a Life Skills coach does not add up. And the whole mafia addition was just an add-on.
I feel as though she needs to slow down and give us good character development and tight editing. This story could have used another 2-3 more drafts to become my favorite.