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A review by cdnbooklover1950
Demons Don't Dream by Hannah Walker
5.0
Another great story, but...
Some of my gripes:
1) 'Aridien slowly settled, his stuttering body becoming calmer, his breaths easier.' How does a body stutter? The only definition I can find is for a speech impediment, not a bodily reaction to something.
2) 'it wasn’t long before they were both soon fast asleep.' Again with the redundant words! It should be either, 'it wasn’t long before they were both fast asleep.' or, 'soon they were both fast asleep.'
3) 'Thank the Demoness Geristania for looking over the crew.' What, she's looking over the crew like she's shopping for tomatoes or is she watching out for them? Sheesh!
4) 'Bo turned to one of his officers stood near him.' Oh, who put him there? This should read, 'Bo turned to one of his officers standing near him.'
Some of my gripes:
1) 'Aridien slowly settled, his stuttering body becoming calmer, his breaths easier.' How does a body stutter? The only definition I can find is for a speech impediment, not a bodily reaction to something.
2) 'it wasn’t long before they were both soon fast asleep.' Again with the redundant words! It should be either, 'it wasn’t long before they were both fast asleep.' or, 'soon they were both fast asleep.'
3) 'Thank the Demoness Geristania for looking over the crew.' What, she's looking over the crew like she's shopping for tomatoes or is she watching out for them? Sheesh!
4) 'Bo turned to one of his officers stood near him.' Oh, who put him there? This should read, 'Bo turned to one of his officers standing near him.'