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A review by entirelybonkerz
The Awakening by Caroline Peckham, Susanne Valenti
3.0
and it wasn't that bad.
I am totally kidding. It was AWFUL. Jesus Christ, possibly one of the worst books I have ever read. But not THE worst book... (cries in flock and exodus)
Tory and Darcy are torn out of the human world and thrown into this gossip girl school for paranormal bully creatures because BAM, they have powers and are the real heirs to the throne of SOLARIA. Also they're twins.
No, this is not a Winx Club episode, and for the first 10 chapters I was fuming thinking this was a copy of one of my favorite cartoons of all times but they actually didn't go that far.
Let's start with the fact that this book was sold to me as a: TEACHER-STUDENT BULLY ROMANCE.
There was bullying allright.
You guys know me, I am a sucker for bully romance and teacher-student tropes. I thought this was going to be super hot, I also adore urban fantasies and this had the perfect recipe. Until the main characters were coerced by their classmates to do the chicken dance in front of that said teacher.
The actual chicken dance. I wish I was joking.
HOW IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ATTRACTED TO THIS?
Bully Romances are supposed to be intelligent and demeaning in a hot way, not in a: "I wish I could jump off a building from second hand embarrassment way." I thought the teacher was going to insult her intelligence, not laugh about her flapping her arms like wings.
I am not going to lie, if people weren't waiting for me to write this review I probably would have DNFED right there, but I kept going.
They throw EVERYTHING your way. We have unicorns, dragons, vampires, sirens, werewolves, hydras, harry potter house points (which I learned to ignore)
you are going to have to learn to ignore a lot of things if you want to read this series.
For the first 60% of the book I was so bored and confused, that I decided to play a game. "Take a shot every time someone gets bit in the neck FOR NO DAMN REASON."
My family is officially concerned. I have an AA meeting next week.
The entire plot of this book feels like someone took all the stories you started coming up with after you got your first Ken Doll in third grade.
I HATE YOU BARBIE
NO I HATE YOU
I AM GOING TO BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE
*throws both barbie and ken across the room*
There is ZERO sex, no spice, public humiliation without any emotional return and at certain point you start feeling STUPID for reading this.
Then you get to 65%. If you got this far, you are a war hero.
That's when they inject you with the same drug they inject Grey's Anatomy fans to make sure they watch all seasons.
The train wreck you cant stop watching. Zodiac academy actually gives you compelling characters, and I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM SAYING THIS: a world building that makes you feel like you're on crack but it makes sense because it is atmospheric. OH and hot bully dudes who will break your heart.
You spend enough time in the madhouse, you start talking to the walls too.
It's Alice in Wonderland all over again. Yes, I am Alice. I don't wanna go among mad people but I feel like I've been dosed heavily with LSD and there's not much I can do at this point.
SO I FUCKING GET IT.
I will be reading the second book and I hate all of you for it.
3 stars for entertainment. 
PS: Please read this like a comedy, and think of every possible trigger warning in the book before you jump in.