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rachelnevada 's review for:
elseship: an unrequited affair
by Tree Abraham
challenging
informative
*ARC from Edelweiss+*
elseship is an exploration of the author, Tree Abraham's, relationship with a housemate, who remains unnamed but is addressed directly throughout the book as 'you'. Abraham (who deliberately notes that sexuality labels do not encompass how she feels), is nonetheless estranged from amatonormativity/compulsory sexuality and appears to have a queer relationship with romance that reads as some sort of grey/demiromanticism. This informs her relationship with her housemate, whom she is in love with, although those feelings are not reciprocated.
elseship feels like an intensely intimate perzine. There are swaths of pages dedicated to the author's personal doodles, photos of her home, and ephemera from the books she shares with the unnamed 'you' of the book. She has divided the book into the eight types of Ancient Greek love: agape, philautia, ludus, philia, eros, mania, pragma, and storge. Each of these chapters is filled with anecdotes about Abraham and 'you' that fulfill that particular kind of love. This structure is supplemented by a running list of bolded words who's definitions Abraham seems to be collecting.
However, it feels as though Abraham's lacks the distance to write this story properly at the moment. She is very much still in the throws of these emotions and yet almost insistent on her emotional balance. This, despite the fact that she repeatedly notes the ways that her emotions depend on those of her housemate. This is especially true of the mania chapter, where she pushes some blame onto her housemate for her obsession. Towards the end of the book, she mentions a friend who accused her of writing the book for her housemate. She denies this, which I was surprised by-- the whole book is addressed to the housemate (hence the use of the word 'you') and seems to be both a love letter and an indictment.
There is an imbalance in the narrative that seems to parallel the imbalance in Abraham and you's relationship. You's perspective remains eerily unclear-- there are sparse bits of dialogue and little pieces of ephemera. The audience is left with only Abraham's perspective, which is clearly skewed (a fact she acknowledges). This makes it a fascinating literary read (although, perhaps questionable psychologically and relationally).
My main disappointment is that this book is framed so clearly around this relationship that it only brushes upon some of the more interesting questions. As someone who is also demiromantic, I think it's fascinating to see someone grapple with first love as someone 'older'. How is this different from allohet people? Does first love in one's late twenties fundamentally differ from first love in your teens? Also, Abraham seems to follow a very if you know you know perspective on love, but what if you don't know??
Regardless, this book has lodged itself firmly in my ace-spectrum, queer platonic, queer relationship canon (even if Tree Abraham herself would bill it differently). I'll certainly purchase it as I think it will greatly inform my own work.
elseship is an exploration of the author, Tree Abraham's, relationship with a housemate, who remains unnamed but is addressed directly throughout the book as 'you'. Abraham (who deliberately notes that sexuality labels do not encompass how she feels), is nonetheless estranged from amatonormativity/compulsory sexuality and appears to have a queer relationship with romance that reads as some sort of grey/demiromanticism. This informs her relationship with her housemate, whom she is in love with, although those feelings are not reciprocated.
elseship feels like an intensely intimate perzine. There are swaths of pages dedicated to the author's personal doodles, photos of her home, and ephemera from the books she shares with the unnamed 'you' of the book. She has divided the book into the eight types of Ancient Greek love: agape, philautia, ludus, philia, eros, mania, pragma, and storge. Each of these chapters is filled with anecdotes about Abraham and 'you' that fulfill that particular kind of love. This structure is supplemented by a running list of bolded words who's definitions Abraham seems to be collecting.
However, it feels as though Abraham's lacks the distance to write this story properly at the moment. She is very much still in the throws of these emotions and yet almost insistent on her emotional balance. This, despite the fact that she repeatedly notes the ways that her emotions depend on those of her housemate. This is especially true of the mania chapter, where she pushes some blame onto her housemate for her obsession. Towards the end of the book, she mentions a friend who accused her of writing the book for her housemate. She denies this, which I was surprised by-- the whole book is addressed to the housemate (hence the use of the word 'you') and seems to be both a love letter and an indictment.
There is an imbalance in the narrative that seems to parallel the imbalance in Abraham and you's relationship. You's perspective remains eerily unclear-- there are sparse bits of dialogue and little pieces of ephemera. The audience is left with only Abraham's perspective, which is clearly skewed (a fact she acknowledges). This makes it a fascinating literary read (although, perhaps questionable psychologically and relationally).
My main disappointment is that this book is framed so clearly around this relationship that it only brushes upon some of the more interesting questions. As someone who is also demiromantic, I think it's fascinating to see someone grapple with first love as someone 'older'. How is this different from allohet people? Does first love in one's late twenties fundamentally differ from first love in your teens? Also, Abraham seems to follow a very if you know you know perspective on love, but what if you don't know??
Regardless, this book has lodged itself firmly in my ace-spectrum, queer platonic, queer relationship canon (even if Tree Abraham herself would bill it differently). I'll certainly purchase it as I think it will greatly inform my own work.