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A review by chriskoppenhaver
A Whole Nother Story by Cuthbert Soup
4.0
Three stars for the story itself, five stars for the smart aleck storytelling and audiobook narrator, so I averaged it out to a four. Because there is an exciting tale of intrigue and espionage starring an inventive father, his two sons and one daughter, a host of government agents and goons, and all the people they meet over the course of their adventure, but this isn't really a book based on plot and character development. No, the joy of this tale is the telling, the constant clever asides, snarky comments, witty puns and plays on language, ridiculous situations and set-ups, and cerebrally silly humor. I was most happily amused.
A few examples:
The secret government agency whose agents go by their initials, spelled out, so we get "names" like Agent Aitch Dee, Agent El Kyoo, and Agent Gee Doubleyou.
---
As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a leaky boat. Well, except for the fact that boats are not generally round, orange, and on fire. Hmm. Come to think of it, in no way whatsoever did the sun, in this instance, resemble a leaky boat. My apologies. That was a dreadful attempt at simile. Please allow me to try again.
As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a self-luminous, gaseous sphere comprised mainly of hydrogen and helium.
---
There was a time when, if you encountered someone with a tattoo, you could pretty much assume he was either a sailor or had, at one time or another, been in prison. There was something, it seemed, about men being cooped up together that made them want to draw on themselves.
---
All gifts are not created equal. Historically speaking, there are good gifts and there are bad gifts.
Good gifts: A bottle of champagne, a box of fine Belgian chocolates, the Statue of Liberty.
Bad gifts: A bottle of shampoo, a box of fine Belgian matches, the Trojan Horse.
---
If I could give you all just one word of advice, it would be . . . well, an incomplete sentence. Besides being grammatically iffy, I'm sure you'd agree that a single word of advice is rarely of much use. Even the phrase "Look out!" (which could prove to be life-saving advice--especially where large falling objects or missing manhole covers are concerned) is two words.
To simply shout out "Look!" to a friend as a tuba falls from a ninth-story window toward his unsuspecting head will, at best, only serve to make sure he gets a good look at the tuba before it parades him, unceremoniously, into the sidewalk.
And so, throughout this book, I will attempt to offer more than one word of wisdom whether you want it or not because, after all, that is what we do here at the National Center for Unsolicited Advice.
A few examples:
The secret government agency whose agents go by their initials, spelled out, so we get "names" like Agent Aitch Dee, Agent El Kyoo, and Agent Gee Doubleyou.
---
As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a leaky boat. Well, except for the fact that boats are not generally round, orange, and on fire. Hmm. Come to think of it, in no way whatsoever did the sun, in this instance, resemble a leaky boat. My apologies. That was a dreadful attempt at simile. Please allow me to try again.
As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a self-luminous, gaseous sphere comprised mainly of hydrogen and helium.
---
There was a time when, if you encountered someone with a tattoo, you could pretty much assume he was either a sailor or had, at one time or another, been in prison. There was something, it seemed, about men being cooped up together that made them want to draw on themselves.
---
All gifts are not created equal. Historically speaking, there are good gifts and there are bad gifts.
Good gifts: A bottle of champagne, a box of fine Belgian chocolates, the Statue of Liberty.
Bad gifts: A bottle of shampoo, a box of fine Belgian matches, the Trojan Horse.
---
If I could give you all just one word of advice, it would be . . . well, an incomplete sentence. Besides being grammatically iffy, I'm sure you'd agree that a single word of advice is rarely of much use. Even the phrase "Look out!" (which could prove to be life-saving advice--especially where large falling objects or missing manhole covers are concerned) is two words.
To simply shout out "Look!" to a friend as a tuba falls from a ninth-story window toward his unsuspecting head will, at best, only serve to make sure he gets a good look at the tuba before it parades him, unceremoniously, into the sidewalk.
And so, throughout this book, I will attempt to offer more than one word of wisdom whether you want it or not because, after all, that is what we do here at the National Center for Unsolicited Advice.