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Reverence by Milena McKay
5.0
emotional hopeful inspiring reflective tense fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: No
Flaws of characters a main focus: No

Honestly, I knew I was done for by page 12.

It took me a while to get to this one. Sometimes I need a break from angst, and I avoid books that contain a wealth of it. So even though this one has been in my library for months, I’m only just reading it. And from the very beginning you are pulled in.

The tension between Juliette and Katarina... Like twisting a wire tighter and tighter, so taut that it sings if you so much as touch it, until finally it snaps with explosive force. And when it does your thoughts echo Juliette’s “Fucking finally.”  But even in the midst of their joy, you are aware of the foreshadowing of Gabe’s illness and, given the setting of this novel and his sexuality, what it might mean. Add in the fact that there is still the looming presence of Lalande and half the book to go and you know you’d better buckle up.

I know almost nothing about ballet, but you don’t need to in order to enjoy this book, because ultimately the story is about the dancers and not the dance. You don’t have to have been in Paris in the 80s, or remember the first years of the AIDS epidemic, to relate to these characters. I was a child of the Cold War, growing up in Europe, and I still remember the menace of the Stasi, and how the very air of East Germany felt different to breath. Echoes of that are in Reverence, but you don’t have to have experienced any of it to understand it, because McKay manages to breathe it into Katarina’s memory and her terror, Gabe’s fear and sense of betrayal, and Juliette’s desolation.

Reverence is an emotional wringer, but you cannot put it down. It takes your breath away from virtually the first page, and when you finish it you are left strangely empty. If you read the Afterword, you find that Reverence is a memorial, of sorts. A very effective and moving one, in my opinion. But it lingers in your thoughts long after you’ve finished it for what it reminds you of the past, and for where we are in the present. I know already that this is a book I will return to often.