A review by bluejayreads
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker

informative inspiring

5.0

If you’ve ever read any of my nonfiction reviews, you know that I am all about my nonfiction having practical action steps. I’ve been known to stop reading books that might have been perfectly interesting but weren’t giving me practical knowledge. So you will be pleased to know that this book is relentlessly practical. 

I put this on hold at the library, and when it finally got around to me about two months after placing the hold, I was skeptical. “Alright, past me,” I was thinking. “This looks like it might be about business meetings and will go into the ‘I only pick up business books on accident’ category, but I’ll give it a shot.” 

And then I gave it a shot. And I am so very glad I did, because I am very very bad at people and this book is step-by-step how to have a gathering of people that goes well. 

It does discuss business meetings, but it also discusses social gatherings and provides principles that can apply to anything from a conference to having friends over for dinner. Have you considered the power dynamics between guests and host? I didn’t even consider that there was such a thing, but Priya explains (with examples) that there is such a thing, it’s an integral part of the social gathering, there isn’t a way to get rid of it without making your gathering worse, and here’s how to take charge of it to make it a good experience for everyone. Does your gathering have a purpose? No, “hanging out with friends” is not a purpose, but Priya will help you find a good purpose to guide every other decision that goes into planning the meeting. Did you realize that the event starts the moment guests become aware of the gathering and the host having a “pregame” strategy will make the actual event run smoother? Don’t worry, Priya has you covered on that front, too. 

Whether you’re hosting a game night with old friends, a dinner party to introduce new friends to a group, a work meeting to discuss departmental conflicts, or a sit-down with Mom and Dad to discuss their end-of-life plans, this book will explain what to consider, provide steps for making it as successful as possible, illustrate with examples from Priya’s work as a professional gathering facilitator, and set you up for a great interpersonal experience. 

I cannot express how helpful this knowledge is to me. I am very, very horrible at people (I blame the autism, but limited social interaction as a child didn’t help either), and this book basically said to me, “It’s okay, honey, here’s how people gather, what they expect when they get together, and how use this knowledge to plan a good gathering yourself.” As someone who both does not understand people at all and who married a Dungeon Master and so ends up regularly hosting game nights, I wish I’d found this book years ago. 

If you are a human being who spends time with other human beings, this book is guaranteed to be helpful. (Unless you are that magical human being who knows everything in this book instinctively, in which case, I would like to purchase said instincts.) This book is definitely going on the Required Reading page, and I unreservedly recommend it to everyone.