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mermaidreef 's review for:
A Little Life
by Hanya Yanagihara
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
i had to wait for 24 hours to really let this one settle before writing a review.
i read this entire 800 page book in the span of 3 days. i would stop because i felt too heavy and too weighed down, but then would be unable to think of anything i wanted to do more than read this book, and just end up reading more. upon finishing, i have never felt more conflicted about a book. even now i'm literally ruminating every few hours, trying to tie up all of my thoughts into something neat and presentable but can't really.
to be frank, this book changed my life and yanked me bodily out of a reading slump. reading this, i felt like i was being granted a voyeuristic glance into the most intimate thoughts, feelings, and moments of these characters who absolutely jump off the page. i shared in-jokes with them, laughed, and cried with them. i felt their love for one another as if i were involved in their lives. i love how this is written - as one long stream of reveries, with little consideration for a plotline and little fanfare when the focus changes from the present to the past. and what's more, i loved that i didn't even care. all i cared about was drinking in as much information as possible about the connections between the characters, their pasts (individual and shared), and their consistent care for one another even as their lives changed shape. this is written with so much tenderness and so much care for humans, for people in general, and acknowledges that to be alive is to suffer. and it is such a wonderful depiction that love/connection between people and suffering throughout life are two notes that are played in harmony for as long as we are alive, even if there are times when we can only hear one of them. neither negates the other, they simply coexist.
as for why i was conflicted, i think that i would be remiss if i did not point out the glaring flaws in this book.
firstly, there are INCREDIBLY graphic descriptions of self-harm, CSA, domestic abuse, and physical abuse throughout this book and at the very least it should have come with a warning at the beginning of the book. this book is not for everyone.
the main character jude, who experiences manifold forms of trauma throughout his life and is disabled as a result, was written to evoke pity from the reader. i don't believe hanya yanagihara intended to really portray the experiences of CSA survivors, domestic abuse survivors, disabled people, and people who struggle with self-harm in a way that really captures the nuances of those identities. jude's character description is targeted towards able-bodied people who have not survived SA, who do not self-harm actively. to this group of people she presents the romantic notion of "a person who is so broken he can never get better." this is a powerful literary device (and a powerful way to manipulate readers like myself into feeling sorry for him, but not necessarily really understanding what it's like for a person who has similar experiences to jude. when i had experiences in common with jude, it felt as though the author was dramatizing them and placing them in a glass display case so that people who had never had those experiences could feel their heartstrings being tugged at and have the vicarious thrill of the voyeur ("i can't even imagine that, poor jude!!") additionally, i feel icky about the way she describes disability. there is a lot of content in this book about jude being disgusted with his disability, and once again it feels as though it's a tactic to play on able-bodied readers' sympathies while also playing on ableism to intensify the effect.
i also find it weird that she chose to give jude all of these socially valued and coveted traits, like extreme intelligence and multiple degrees from ivy league universities. most typically, when you experience the kind of trauma that jude went through, it can really impact your executive function, intellect, and ability to function. i'm sure there are survivors of severe trauma like jude in the world, but it felt like cherry-picking the most sympathetic and palatable version of a trauma survivor for the sake of the story. which, again, is a wonderful choice to make the story more compelling but incredibly disrespectful to people who have survived these experiences.
i think this book also plays on the "we want to see people in gay relationships suffer" thing that undergirds the success of so many tragic movies and books about gay relationships.
ultimately, i feel conflicted because i adored this book, i was successfully emotionally manipulated by the various tactics hanya used to do so (both in terms of good writing and through more questionable and harmful tactics to marginalized communities) and i am grappling with what that says about me as a person. so much good and so much bad. much to process
i read this entire 800 page book in the span of 3 days. i would stop because i felt too heavy and too weighed down, but then would be unable to think of anything i wanted to do more than read this book, and just end up reading more. upon finishing, i have never felt more conflicted about a book. even now i'm literally ruminating every few hours, trying to tie up all of my thoughts into something neat and presentable but can't really.
to be frank, this book changed my life and yanked me bodily out of a reading slump. reading this, i felt like i was being granted a voyeuristic glance into the most intimate thoughts, feelings, and moments of these characters who absolutely jump off the page. i shared in-jokes with them, laughed, and cried with them. i felt their love for one another as if i were involved in their lives. i love how this is written - as one long stream of reveries, with little consideration for a plotline and little fanfare when the focus changes from the present to the past. and what's more, i loved that i didn't even care. all i cared about was drinking in as much information as possible about the connections between the characters, their pasts (individual and shared), and their consistent care for one another even as their lives changed shape. this is written with so much tenderness and so much care for humans, for people in general, and acknowledges that to be alive is to suffer. and it is such a wonderful depiction that love/connection between people and suffering throughout life are two notes that are played in harmony for as long as we are alive, even if there are times when we can only hear one of them. neither negates the other, they simply coexist.
as for why i was conflicted, i think that i would be remiss if i did not point out the glaring flaws in this book.
firstly, there are INCREDIBLY graphic descriptions of self-harm, CSA, domestic abuse, and physical abuse throughout this book and at the very least it should have come with a warning at the beginning of the book. this book is not for everyone.
the main character jude, who experiences manifold forms of trauma throughout his life and is disabled as a result, was written to evoke pity from the reader. i don't believe hanya yanagihara intended to really portray the experiences of CSA survivors, domestic abuse survivors, disabled people, and people who struggle with self-harm in a way that really captures the nuances of those identities. jude's character description is targeted towards able-bodied people who have not survived SA, who do not self-harm actively. to this group of people she presents the romantic notion of "a person who is so broken he can never get better." this is a powerful literary device (and a powerful way to manipulate readers like myself into feeling sorry for him, but not necessarily really understanding what it's like for a person who has similar experiences to jude. when i had experiences in common with jude, it felt as though the author was dramatizing them and placing them in a glass display case so that people who had never had those experiences could feel their heartstrings being tugged at and have the vicarious thrill of the voyeur ("i can't even imagine that, poor jude!!") additionally, i feel icky about the way she describes disability. there is a lot of content in this book about jude being disgusted with his disability, and once again it feels as though it's a tactic to play on able-bodied readers' sympathies while also playing on ableism to intensify the effect.
i also find it weird that she chose to give jude all of these socially valued and coveted traits, like extreme intelligence and multiple degrees from ivy league universities. most typically, when you experience the kind of trauma that jude went through, it can really impact your executive function, intellect, and ability to function. i'm sure there are survivors of severe trauma like jude in the world, but it felt like cherry-picking the most sympathetic and palatable version of a trauma survivor for the sake of the story. which, again, is a wonderful choice to make the story more compelling but incredibly disrespectful to people who have survived these experiences.
i think this book also plays on the "we want to see people in gay relationships suffer" thing that undergirds the success of so many tragic movies and books about gay relationships.
ultimately, i feel conflicted because i adored this book, i was successfully emotionally manipulated by the various tactics hanya used to do so (both in terms of good writing and through more questionable and harmful tactics to marginalized communities) and i am grappling with what that says about me as a person. so much good and so much bad. much to process
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Gore, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Suicide, Blood, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury