A review by otterpebbles
The Home I Find With You, by Skye Kilaen

challenging emotional hopeful medium-paced


This was a really fantastic read: An emotionally thoughtful book with great depth to the various characters and the balances found and developing in their relationships. 

There's a full list of CW on the website for the bookbut a few main ones- violence and death as part of a post civil war society; non-negotiated D/s dynamic; grief; internalised ableism 

Set in a period after a future civil war, we are based in one of the new communities set up, and mainly gollow the development of a relationship between Van, a stronghold and leader of the community, and Clark, a new arrival. When the story opens, Van is dealing with grief after the death of his wife in previous battles between this community and outside raiders, and the effect that that has had on him not merely on a personal level but also by leaving him a position of greater authority than he had originally considered. Relationship wise, he has a girlfriend, Hadas, and a more casual hookup partner, Jaime. When I first read the blurb for the book, I had assumed that the relationship between Hadas and Van would be pretty strong and established at the start, but actually we see much more how Van is struggling, closing himself off so as to avoid being vulnerable and risk getting so badly hurt again. One of things I enjoyed greatly within the novel is how we see the unreliability of the character's POV narration as in here, where Van insists that his relationship with Hadas is not so serious, but we can see the glimpses of how he tries to guard himself off from the reality of his feelings. I did feel sometimes that I might liked to have had a few chapters from Hadas perspective too, mostly because I really liked her! But I did feel that she was given a lot of positive attention and development in the book too. 

Clark is another great character whose vulnerability is also shielded, but through his emphasis on casual sex and hookups rather than allowing a relationship. Just as I liked seeing the development of Van and Hadas, I really liked that Clark was given the opportunity to face his past relationships. Both really worked for me to see the characters in greater depth and to make the future both happier and more sustainable. 

There was a lot about consent and communication in the book, which I think came partly from the themes of D/s and polyamory, and it was something which I really enjoyed seeing, especially in the way that they did mess up in this regard, but addressed the issues and worked through it. Its very much still a work in progress at the end, but the progress is getting there and there is a real sense of hope. Positive communication methods are exactly what I love to see! 

And hope is one of the fundamental themes in the book and which was one if the things that kept me gripped to it throughout. There was always this sense that the characters would work through things, even if they lost someone or a relationship changed form, there was still a future somewhere. 

This book gave me do much to think about and worked in a lot of depth, and I really enjoyed reading it. 

*I received a free ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review*

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