A review by pascalthehoff
Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

dark emotional funny reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

A beautifully complicated love story that works completely without the usual aggravating tropes. Love triangles are one of the most tried and proven narrative constructs. But they’re rarely realized without forced and frustrating twists or misunderstandings. 
 
Conversations with Friends, however, avoids these trappings through sheer emotional intelligence and by cracking the characters’ inner workings and vulnerabilities wide open. It shows why the love triangle formula has remained so appealing throughout the centuries. For if it’s done right, it’s incredibly compelling. 
 
Conversations with Friends might be one of the best examples of how a messy relationship can serve as a vehicle to examine deeper psychological and interpersonal phenomena. It also shows how complicated real interpersonal relationships are in general, due to each person’s own complex inner life. 
 
The characters in this novel are almost unrealistically self-reflective – even reflecting on their own lack of self-reflection at times. This might not seem entirely natural at first; maybe because we aren’t used to such emotional realism in love stories. What the novel gains from its commitment, however, is that through this deep insight into characters’ emotions, the same faults and misunderstandings that might have felt stilted in other novels, always feel entirely plausible and natural here. 
 
It helps, of course, that Conversations in Friends, is in general a very reflective novel in terms of social concepts like class, feminine identity and so on. And it’s also acutely aware of the limits people struggle with when trying to live in a socially-conscious manner. Conversations with Friends is incredibly messy – just like life itself. But it’s a mess that knows exactly how it got that way, and that’s why it works so well.