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ericas_reads_ca 's review for:
Spare
by Prince Harry
I may need to come back to my review. This whole situation is a lot. I have not followed Harry and Meghan's departure from England, as partially I thought that's what they wanted- to be left alone, and partially I did not care.
I have no doubt she suffered racists attacks to be clear. But I also think a lot of their plight is poor little rich kids and I similarly don't have pity for those who purchased McDonald's coffee then sued because it was hot.
However in book form I thought I'd give it a go and hear Harry's side as I do generally like to hear all sides to a story.
This, as all memoirs, is one-sided and bias to his memories, but is a unique look into perhaps the most famous family in the world.
To start I'll quote Kacey Musgraves and say, "Family is family; in church or in prison. You get what you get, and you don't get to pick 'em." So truly this is at heart a book of someone ranting about their family. Except that's what the press wants to sell you on. As much as Harry rants about the horrors done to them by his family, he doubly, and constantly rants about the press, to the point he shares that his therapist thanks he's obsessed with them. Which is why I can't fully buy whatever he's selling, as he continues to use the press just like he complains his family does, to try and get what he wants. I can clearly give him some leniency, as that's how he was brought up. But to pretend he's better than the others in his family is false.
He spends much of the book talking about his trauma from losing his mother, which one can side with. But he takes this subject as another opportunity to fault his family for how they've coped, without recognizing the spectacularly unique life they lead and duty their privilege and place requires along with the culture that has led to perhaps not the best coping techniques. He does provide some push back against public criticism on many things they've done- especially seems to have a soft spot for Queen Elizabeth, but then at the same time is more than willing to publicly throw them under the bus where it suits.
He never really talks about the balance. For example, at the end he constantly says he wants security for his family, but basically does not want to fulfill his duty while getting the privileged security his family is normally afforded. There are well defined protocols globally for royal families and he can't just quit and expect he can travel around and still expect other countries to provide the security of Internationally Protected Persons that they do to royals when he has disavowed himself of those responsibilities. He also often criticises Kate for what seems to be her cultural norms because she doesn't have the same cultural norms as Meghan. Speaking as an introvert from a very individualistic culture, I also wouldn't want to share my lipgloss with someone. And I have been in spots where I'm with people who are from very collectivist cultures and used to being around a lot of people and sharing, and it's very difficult and uncomfortable to me. And neither way is wrong, they just have to be open and understand where each one is coming from instead of blaming each other.
What he also doesn't seem to grasp, which his grandmother did so well, is this duty and privilege of being part of The Firm. By writing this book he harms his family rather than working with them to fix things. And in government change takes a while, no matter how badly you want it and he just didn't have the patience for. He himself mentions that Britons complain about the cost of the monarchy- which he points out really only costs a pint a year. In Canada it's just over $1 per person per year. And it truly did bring in more money than cost when Will and Kate honeymooned. But this is unlike when Harry and Meghan spent their 6 week escape here costing us their security without their making public appearances to boost the local economy. It's part of the job, and he doesn't seem to recognize he is basically attacking his family's business and livelihood with his shenanigans. - What you think of that business I would argue is moot to the critique of this book. I say that because he hasn't said his goal is to take them all down, so then why is he basically doing just that. Going through the media to rant is not the best way to effect change.
To be fair, the "stuff upper lip" sentiment is problematic for mental health and it is good to see people are applauding him for shunning this and embracing the more US style let's share everything with everyone. But you aren't going to change centuries of cultural norms by writing a book.
In terms of a public good, I find it very historically interesting that Harry has shared his side. However I do not think it was necessary, I don't think it helped anything, and could have been released in 100 years for the public record without being as damaging perhaps to the highest extent to himself. His attacks on the press fall on deaf ears, as they have no feelings, only want clickbait and love him spilling the "T" to just create more drama. But then he seems to wonder why, as he's attacking his family and their business, which is under constant threat of falling as other monarchies have, they might not want to talk to him.
I have no doubt she suffered racists attacks to be clear. But I also think a lot of their plight is poor little rich kids and I similarly don't have pity for those who purchased McDonald's coffee then sued because it was hot.
However in book form I thought I'd give it a go and hear Harry's side as I do generally like to hear all sides to a story.
This, as all memoirs, is one-sided and bias to his memories, but is a unique look into perhaps the most famous family in the world.
To start I'll quote Kacey Musgraves and say, "Family is family; in church or in prison. You get what you get, and you don't get to pick 'em." So truly this is at heart a book of someone ranting about their family. Except that's what the press wants to sell you on. As much as Harry rants about the horrors done to them by his family, he doubly, and constantly rants about the press, to the point he shares that his therapist thanks he's obsessed with them. Which is why I can't fully buy whatever he's selling, as he continues to use the press just like he complains his family does, to try and get what he wants. I can clearly give him some leniency, as that's how he was brought up. But to pretend he's better than the others in his family is false.
He spends much of the book talking about his trauma from losing his mother, which one can side with. But he takes this subject as another opportunity to fault his family for how they've coped, without recognizing the spectacularly unique life they lead and duty their privilege and place requires along with the culture that has led to perhaps not the best coping techniques. He does provide some push back against public criticism on many things they've done- especially seems to have a soft spot for Queen Elizabeth, but then at the same time is more than willing to publicly throw them under the bus where it suits.
He never really talks about the balance. For example, at the end he constantly says he wants security for his family, but basically does not want to fulfill his duty while getting the privileged security his family is normally afforded. There are well defined protocols globally for royal families and he can't just quit and expect he can travel around and still expect other countries to provide the security of Internationally Protected Persons that they do to royals when he has disavowed himself of those responsibilities. He also often criticises Kate for what seems to be her cultural norms because she doesn't have the same cultural norms as Meghan. Speaking as an introvert from a very individualistic culture, I also wouldn't want to share my lipgloss with someone. And I have been in spots where I'm with people who are from very collectivist cultures and used to being around a lot of people and sharing, and it's very difficult and uncomfortable to me. And neither way is wrong, they just have to be open and understand where each one is coming from instead of blaming each other.
What he also doesn't seem to grasp, which his grandmother did so well, is this duty and privilege of being part of The Firm. By writing this book he harms his family rather than working with them to fix things. And in government change takes a while, no matter how badly you want it and he just didn't have the patience for. He himself mentions that Britons complain about the cost of the monarchy- which he points out really only costs a pint a year. In Canada it's just over $1 per person per year. And it truly did bring in more money than cost when Will and Kate honeymooned. But this is unlike when Harry and Meghan spent their 6 week escape here costing us their security without their making public appearances to boost the local economy. It's part of the job, and he doesn't seem to recognize he is basically attacking his family's business and livelihood with his shenanigans. - What you think of that business I would argue is moot to the critique of this book. I say that because he hasn't said his goal is to take them all down, so then why is he basically doing just that. Going through the media to rant is not the best way to effect change.
To be fair, the "stuff upper lip" sentiment is problematic for mental health and it is good to see people are applauding him for shunning this and embracing the more US style let's share everything with everyone. But you aren't going to change centuries of cultural norms by writing a book.
In terms of a public good, I find it very historically interesting that Harry has shared his side. However I do not think it was necessary, I don't think it helped anything, and could have been released in 100 years for the public record without being as damaging perhaps to the highest extent to himself. His attacks on the press fall on deaf ears, as they have no feelings, only want clickbait and love him spilling the "T" to just create more drama. But then he seems to wonder why, as he's attacking his family and their business, which is under constant threat of falling as other monarchies have, they might not want to talk to him.