Scan barcode
A review by sdloomer
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee
4.0
I don't know how to put in words what I'm feeling after reading this memoir, but it's probably along the lines of "I am unsettled by how much I understand this complete stranger's feelings of self-worth (or lack thereof) and anxiety."
It seems a lot of previous readers were hoping for some kind of "happy ending" to the author's sessions, some kind of "look how much we talked, look at these heavy topics we covered, look at how we fixed me", when in reality, twelve therapy sessions does absolutely f*** all to change someone's way of thinking that has been ingrained and beaten into them for thirty years. If that were the case, therapy wouldn't have so much stigma surrounding it and everyone would be doing it. To me, this book is only the beginning of a mental transformation that will undoubtedly take another thirty years to (maybe) complete. I'm not saying that the readers who were hoping for this are delusional. But I am saying that people heal in different ways, and the way the author has gone about beginning and trying to might be extremely different or even downright incredible to others.
I was also curious about how therapy and psychiatry is treated in Korea (my own place of birth, as well), and by reading this found it to be so very different than here in America. Therapy, for me, was a thing of shame but also a safe place where my parents weren't allowed to be in, thus creating that weird "thinking in extremes" the author's psychiatrist mentions so often.
I will almost absolutely be reading the second book once it comes out this year, if only to continue to reaffirm my relief that there are people in the world who look like me also feel like me, and it's not something to be ashamed of.
That, and I need to return to therapy.
It seems a lot of previous readers were hoping for some kind of "happy ending" to the author's sessions, some kind of "look how much we talked, look at these heavy topics we covered, look at how we fixed me", when in reality, twelve therapy sessions does absolutely f*** all to change someone's way of thinking that has been ingrained and beaten into them for thirty years. If that were the case, therapy wouldn't have so much stigma surrounding it and everyone would be doing it. To me, this book is only the beginning of a mental transformation that will undoubtedly take another thirty years to (maybe) complete. I'm not saying that the readers who were hoping for this are delusional. But I am saying that people heal in different ways, and the way the author has gone about beginning and trying to might be extremely different or even downright incredible to others.
I was also curious about how therapy and psychiatry is treated in Korea (my own place of birth, as well), and by reading this found it to be so very different than here in America. Therapy, for me, was a thing of shame but also a safe place where my parents weren't allowed to be in, thus creating that weird "thinking in extremes" the author's psychiatrist mentions so often.
I will almost absolutely be reading the second book once it comes out this year, if only to continue to reaffirm my relief that there are people in the world who look like me also feel like me, and it's not something to be ashamed of.
That, and I need to return to therapy.