A review by thmei
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

i’ve been avoiding this book since it came out. my mom almost died a few years ago- she is still quite sick- and i definitely haven’t processed that yet but, more importantly, food is not my favorite subject. i’ve had an eating disorder all my life and i spent childhood parties, holidays with family, and school lunches stressing about the food most people were excited about. i understood how food, especially her culture’s food, could connect michelle to her mother after her death, but i thought it would be overwhelming and stressful to read about. i was wrong. i may not have gotten hungry listening to michelle talk about all the korean meals she and her mom used to share, but i still got choked up thinking about weekends spent at my great aunt’s house with her, my mom, my grandmother, and my great grandmother crowded into the tiny kitchen, gossiping over loaves of challah and middle eastern dinners and big party bowls of homemade sangria. i was crying less than ten minutes in, thinking about my great grandma, who died in 2020 and whom i really haven’t had a chance to grieve, wishing i had appreciated her more while she was here. even when michelle’s life differed from mine, even when she experienced things i never will, i felt her words so deeply. the feat of a memoir author to craft a complete and compelling story out of all the thoughts and memories in their head has always seemed a daunting one to me, and she does it beautifully. the audiobook felt like being confided in by a friend. i adored it. i feel seen. i feel heartbroken and consoled. i feel reassured knowing other people feel as cut off from their culture as i do, even people who were born in their parents’ country and who have had the chance to see it for themselves. i feel blessed to have my mother, for all her flaws, and for having been so privileged that i got to sit with my great grandmother for years and years and hear her life story and her words about egypt. i feel for the first time in my life that maybe, someday, food will be a comfort. maybe someday it will bring me joy.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cancer, Chronic illness, Death, Terminal illness, Grief, and Death of parent

Minor: Medical content and Medical trauma

the graphic topics are basically the plot of the entire book. michelle’s mom died of cancer. you know this from the first sentence. it is not written about as if the author intends to horrify or shock you. it isn’t graphic in a traumatic way, it’s just ever present. it is one of the few books i would universally encourage you to read if you’ve experienced the tagged triggers. knowing someone else has gone through this, is still grieving, and yet still has joy, is something all of us in grief need. there are scenes in hospitals and descriptions of caretaking but i didn’t think they were particularly graphic or disturbing. i have taken care of a chronically ill parent, however, so maybe take my thoughts with a grain of salt.