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A review by andreasromancebooks
At First Spite by Olivia Dade
5.0
4.5 ⭐️ I forgot how much Olivia Dade can make me cry.
This book was an instant reread. The day after I finished it, I found myself going right back to it, unable to move on to another book, revisiting my favourite parts. I haven't done that since I was a teenager.
The book opens at Athena's engagement party. She's excited about this new beginning, for her relationship and for this big step that she's taking. Johnny, her fiancé, has invited everyone he knows from Harlot's Bay, the small town where he lives, and although she doesn't really know anyone, she's trying her best not to let her anxiety about it shine through. At the party, she meets Matthew, although she has no idea who he is, and he doesn't know her right back. After spending some time talking and laughing together, they click instantly, so when her fiancé finds them, ecstatic that his wonderful fiancée has finally met his brother, they're both incredibly surprised. But, really, they got along so well that nothing really could go wrong... That is until we flash forward about half a year to find Athena jobless, moving to a tiny new house in Harlot's Bay into which she's sunk all of her savings. Most importantly, we find her single and unmarried, and she knows exactly whose fault it is: Matthew's.
I loved the last half of the book, but the first 40% or so was rough. I feel for Athena so much, and I could so easily understand her rage and her need for at least a little petty revenge. The more we got to know Matthew, the more his actions from the beginning of the book felt out of character. After rereading most of this book, I still hold on to the same opinion. This book would've easily been 5 stars if I wasn't so conflicted about Matthew's share of the blame for Athena & Johnny's end. He really refuses to take on any of the blame, when I really do believe he holds most of it. It's not that I don't understand his stance on the matter, but the fact that even in the end he placed most of the blame on Johnny for listening to him when he basically forced his hand... I don't know.
The family issues with a side of codependency, and the mental health representation in this book were amazing. It's hard to describe depression, especially to those who've never had it. If you've ever wondered what depression feels like, read this book. It nails it so completly, it was hard to listen without choking up. It was also hard spotting the early symptoms of a spiral and knowing that it's coming whether you want it or not. It was harder to see Athena go through it unknowingly, blind to the process -as realistic as all these things are, as well. I wish we all a Matthew, though. Because, seriously, I know that he's fake and all that but what a dream of a man. Not unlike a unicorn among horses, if you will. Because, seriously, borderline ugly crying to a romance book should be illegal. But getting into this story was so worth it.
I got the audiobook for this book and it was incredible. I don't usually purchase or get audiobooks because I don't have unlimited cash to be spending on literature -much to my dismay-, but I do love them. I don't know what reading this book would've been like, because to me reading and listening to books are two different experiences. I love both, but I take a lot longer to read a book, than I do listening to it. I also feel like I absorb things much more when I read than when I listen. I don't know how true that is, but it's how it feels for me. I do not regret getting this book only as an audiobook, however. The narrator was amazing, and she did a fantastic job interpreting each character with its own uniqueness. Johnny's parts especially were sublime.
I would recommend this book to anybody who wants an emotionally charged small-town romance, with an amazing FMC who's trying to figure out her life, and a virg¡n MMC whose whole life has been caring for his brother and his medical practice.
This book was an instant reread. The day after I finished it, I found myself going right back to it, unable to move on to another book, revisiting my favourite parts. I haven't done that since I was a teenager.
The book opens at Athena's engagement party. She's excited about this new beginning, for her relationship and for this big step that she's taking. Johnny, her fiancé, has invited everyone he knows from Harlot's Bay, the small town where he lives, and although she doesn't really know anyone, she's trying her best not to let her anxiety about it shine through. At the party, she meets Matthew, although she has no idea who he is, and he doesn't know her right back. After spending some time talking and laughing together, they click instantly, so when her fiancé finds them, ecstatic that his wonderful fiancée has finally met his brother, they're both incredibly surprised. But, really, they got along so well that nothing really could go wrong... That is until we flash forward about half a year to find Athena jobless, moving to a tiny new house in Harlot's Bay into which she's sunk all of her savings. Most importantly, we find her single and unmarried, and she knows exactly whose fault it is: Matthew's.
I loved the last half of the book, but the first 40% or so was rough. I feel for Athena so much, and I could so easily understand her rage and her need for at least a little petty revenge. The more we got to know Matthew, the more his actions from the beginning of the book felt out of character. After rereading most of this book, I still hold on to the same opinion. This book would've easily been 5 stars if I wasn't so conflicted about Matthew's share of the blame for Athena & Johnny's end. He really refuses to take on any of the blame, when I really do believe he holds most of it. It's not that I don't understand his stance on the matter, but the fact that even in the end he placed most of the blame on Johnny for listening to him when he basically forced his hand... I don't know.
The family issues with a side of codependency, and the mental health representation in this book were amazing. It's hard to describe depression, especially to those who've never had it. If you've ever wondered what depression feels like, read this book. It nails it so completly, it was hard to listen without choking up. It was also hard spotting the early symptoms of a spiral and knowing that it's coming whether you want it or not. It was harder to see Athena go through it unknowingly, blind to the process -as realistic as all these things are, as well. I wish we all a Matthew, though. Because, seriously, I know that he's fake and all that but what a dream of a man. Not unlike a unicorn among horses, if you will. Because, seriously, borderline ugly crying to a romance book should be illegal. But getting into this story was so worth it.
I got the audiobook for this book and it was incredible. I don't usually purchase or get audiobooks because I don't have unlimited cash to be spending on literature -much to my dismay-, but I do love them. I don't know what reading this book would've been like, because to me reading and listening to books are two different experiences. I love both, but I take a lot longer to read a book, than I do listening to it. I also feel like I absorb things much more when I read than when I listen. I don't know how true that is, but it's how it feels for me. I do not regret getting this book only as an audiobook, however. The narrator was amazing, and she did a fantastic job interpreting each character with its own uniqueness. Johnny's parts especially were sublime.
I would recommend this book to anybody who wants an emotionally charged small-town romance, with an amazing FMC who's trying to figure out her life, and a virg¡n MMC whose whole life has been caring for his brother and his medical practice.