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A review by yikesbmg
How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community by Mia Birdsong
3.0
My actual rating is a 3.5 but that’s not an option on Goodreads. This book takes on a subject, a question that I am really trying to answer: how to build a life that’s not centered around or defined by a singular romantic relationship and a nuclear family. It is a hard thing to square, especially in the American context.
Because I really want an answer, I expected a lot from this book (I am trying to be clear about my bias here…) and it didn’t deliver enough. It just wasn’t satisfying enough. I wanted Birdsong to keep digging, get more specific about the mechanics of alternative lifestyles but it was mostly anecdotal stories that were a only few pages each. What I got from this book was: American dream is a lie that’s unachievable and the closer you get, the less satisfied you are AND black single women and LGBT people have created alternatives that are difficult in their own way. I knew this before picking up this book.
I think if you already know you want to build a life like the one I describe above, this book isn’t going to be an instructional manual (nor does it claim to be one). If you are like me and have friends that maybe don’t think about building a life like the one you want, this might be a good book to gift them. It makes good arguments, introduces important questions, and provides some examples — it might convince those friends! But if you are already certain the American dream of a heterosexual traditional marriage, two and a half kids, and a house isn’t for you then I’m not sure this book will meet your needs.
Because I really want an answer, I expected a lot from this book (I am trying to be clear about my bias here…) and it didn’t deliver enough. It just wasn’t satisfying enough. I wanted Birdsong to keep digging, get more specific about the mechanics of alternative lifestyles but it was mostly anecdotal stories that were a only few pages each. What I got from this book was: American dream is a lie that’s unachievable and the closer you get, the less satisfied you are AND black single women and LGBT people have created alternatives that are difficult in their own way. I knew this before picking up this book.
I think if you already know you want to build a life like the one I describe above, this book isn’t going to be an instructional manual (nor does it claim to be one). If you are like me and have friends that maybe don’t think about building a life like the one you want, this might be a good book to gift them. It makes good arguments, introduces important questions, and provides some examples — it might convince those friends! But if you are already certain the American dream of a heterosexual traditional marriage, two and a half kids, and a house isn’t for you then I’m not sure this book will meet your needs.