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A review by allisonwonderlandreads
Never Fall for Your Fiancée by Virginia Heath
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
"What a pointless and wholly avoidable mess."
Unfortunately, I think this quote sums up the book too well. I found it a frustrating slog rather than the intended slow burn.
This fake engagement is based on tall tales and an intricate, fabricated backstory. Hugh hires Minerva to fill the role of his fictional fiancee of the same name, and chaos ensues. I had several general issues with the book:
• There's casual slut-shaming in regards to who is wifely material. Reference is made to a marriageable woman's "pristine sheets" in contrast to the unworthy legion of lovers in Hugh's past.
• It gets worse when Hugh's "primal, wholly male, and visceral" jealousy (a different beast from bargain brand jealousy) causes him to seethe about her potential past with a sweetheart despite his own promiscuous past, particularly dwelling on the question of what degree of physical intimacy they enjoyed.
• A conversation on body image suggests that women know their own "faults" as a ...positive?
• Any comments describing the US as a land of freedom and fairness make me gag.
• The actress hired to play Minerva's mother provides comic relief, and her apparent alcoholism causes her to be characterized as a "drunkard" with her embarrassing, potentially incriminating behavior as the major concern rather than her well-being. All alcohol is removed from the premises with Lucretia as a passive recipient of the decision. Nothing is done to actually support her or treat her with any degree of empathy.
Characterization relied on telling (sometimes repeatedly) more than showing. I also disliked Hugh, both his faults and supposed strengths. Please enjoy my list of Hugh-shaped complaints:
• Philanthropy is used as shorthand for his inherent goodness (lazy).
• Acknowledgment of his rich white man privilege goes no further than discomfort and guilt, and it was exhausting to see it play out in slow motion on the page.
• The man has an actual knight-in-shining-armor complex. Hugh's top-secret (but why?) desire to "rescue" the downtrodden results in his offer to pay Minerva enough to entice her from her clear poverty for her role while knowing it is a pittance in his own terms. Minerva's view of him as her personal knight fans the flames of his instalove for her as he sheds a lifetime of adamant refusals to settle down. That dynamic was cringey.
• I was irritated by his nonsensical fear of biological programming towards infidelity. I shouldn't hate on another's mental health issues, but he goes in circles at a mind-numbingly unproductive pace. He also never actually moves past this block, just rewriting history to be happy with his believed inherited character.
Despite some brief comedic bright spots, I don't think that makes it worth the read. I wouldn't recommend it.
Unfortunately, I think this quote sums up the book too well. I found it a frustrating slog rather than the intended slow burn.
This fake engagement is based on tall tales and an intricate, fabricated backstory. Hugh hires Minerva to fill the role of his fictional fiancee of the same name, and chaos ensues. I had several general issues with the book:
• There's casual slut-shaming in regards to who is wifely material. Reference is made to a marriageable woman's "pristine sheets" in contrast to the unworthy legion of lovers in Hugh's past.
• It gets worse when Hugh's "primal, wholly male, and visceral" jealousy (a different beast from bargain brand jealousy) causes him to seethe about her potential past with a sweetheart despite his own promiscuous past, particularly dwelling on the question of what degree of physical intimacy they enjoyed.
• A conversation on body image suggests that women know their own "faults" as a ...positive?
• Any comments describing the US as a land of freedom and fairness make me gag.
• The actress hired to play Minerva's mother provides comic relief, and her apparent alcoholism causes her to be characterized as a "drunkard" with her embarrassing, potentially incriminating behavior as the major concern rather than her well-being. All alcohol is removed from the premises with Lucretia as a passive recipient of the decision. Nothing is done to actually support her or treat her with any degree of empathy.
Characterization relied on telling (sometimes repeatedly) more than showing. I also disliked Hugh, both his faults and supposed strengths. Please enjoy my list of Hugh-shaped complaints:
• Philanthropy is used as shorthand for his inherent goodness (lazy).
• Acknowledgment of his rich white man privilege goes no further than discomfort and guilt, and it was exhausting to see it play out in slow motion on the page.
• The man has an actual knight-in-shining-armor complex. Hugh's top-secret (but why?) desire to "rescue" the downtrodden results in his offer to pay Minerva enough to entice her from her clear poverty for her role while knowing it is a pittance in his own terms. Minerva's view of him as her personal knight fans the flames of his instalove for her as he sheds a lifetime of adamant refusals to settle down. That dynamic was cringey.
• I was irritated by his nonsensical fear of biological programming towards infidelity. I shouldn't hate on another's mental health issues, but he goes in circles at a mind-numbingly unproductive pace. He also never actually moves past this block, just rewriting history to be happy with his believed inherited character.
Despite some brief comedic bright spots, I don't think that makes it worth the read. I wouldn't recommend it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Abandonment, Alcoholism, and Infidelity
Minor: Cancer, Death of parent, and Toxic relationship