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A review by shmadsie
The Paladin by David Ignatius
1.0
full disclosure: i received an arc from a goodreads giveaway.
wow. woooooow. the white male author just jumped out.
from our main guy's wife being a sexy virgin who only had two modes: active seduction or hysterical shrew (that's how all women do, right? and the fact that he kept mentioning she was a virgin before he met her made me want to punch this guy hard enough to give him a concussion), to thinking a conspiracy designed to implicate him would simply fall apart with an 'i didn't do it, no i don't have any proof, but i do have a penis and... i'm white *waggles eyebrows*', to the fact that he cheated on his wife of his own volition and then goes around blaming every other person in the vicinity for it because, of course, he can't be responsible! he's a well-off white man! his daughter was a complete non-entity to him, proven over and over again by her serving as an extension only of his hot brazilian virgin bride.
i hate this man. HATE. and the whole book i'm supposed to be rooting for him to get revenge? why? he sucks, he sucks so much, so much i wanted him to just fall into a woodchipper, book over, the end, sorry you had to read about him as long as you did, kiddo. he also mostly engineered his own fate by being a dick, and then a white-man-confident dumbass. this family that's so important to him... that he voted for trump and somehow thinks he has the luxury of 'not caring about politics'? his kid isn't white, his wife isn't white - in fact, she's likely very dark-skinned (half-mozambican and half-brazilian) who makes her living speaking portuguese. so he's actively made his family's lives more unsafe, then cheated on his wife on top of that with a blonde-haired white woman and i'm supposed to want.... what, here? for him to.... get back together with her? THAT'S how the book ends? and i'm supposed to ENJOY that? HOW. WHAT. WTF.
how 'bout instead: FALL INTO A WOODCHIPPER, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. there's your rewrite; you're welcome.
wow. woooooow. the white male author just jumped out.
from our main guy's wife being a sexy virgin who only had two modes: active seduction or hysterical shrew (that's how all women do, right? and the fact that he kept mentioning she was a virgin before he met her made me want to punch this guy hard enough to give him a concussion), to thinking a conspiracy designed to implicate him would simply fall apart with an 'i didn't do it, no i don't have any proof, but i do have a penis and... i'm white *waggles eyebrows*', to the fact that he cheated on his wife of his own volition and then goes around blaming every other person in the vicinity for it because, of course, he can't be responsible! he's a well-off white man! his daughter was a complete non-entity to him, proven over and over again by her serving as an extension only of his hot brazilian virgin bride.
i hate this man. HATE. and the whole book i'm supposed to be rooting for him to get revenge? why? he sucks, he sucks so much, so much i wanted him to just fall into a woodchipper, book over, the end, sorry you had to read about him as long as you did, kiddo. he also mostly engineered his own fate by being a dick, and then a white-man-confident dumbass. this family that's so important to him... that he voted for trump and somehow thinks he has the luxury of 'not caring about politics'? his kid isn't white, his wife isn't white - in fact, she's likely very dark-skinned (half-mozambican and half-brazilian) who makes her living speaking portuguese. so he's actively made his family's lives more unsafe, then cheated on his wife on top of that with a blonde-haired white woman and i'm supposed to want.... what, here? for him to.... get back together with her? THAT'S how the book ends? and i'm supposed to ENJOY that? HOW. WHAT. WTF.
how 'bout instead: FALL INTO A WOODCHIPPER, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. there's your rewrite; you're welcome.