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A review by jj_cheezit
Mrs Escobar: My life with Pablo by Victoria Eugenia Henao
5.0
An undertaking in empathy for the reader but well worth it. Seriously though, be forewarned that this book will be a gargantuan struggle in compassion. Maybe read the epilogue first if you're concerned about this.
Culturally and socially, we've learned an important lesson over the last five years or so--and that is to believe survivors. This book will give you an opportunity to practice that, and the feelings you experience while reading it will tell you a lot about yourself and your biases about women and survivors of abuse and sexual assault. Henao offers you this opportunity to grow as an ally. Will you take it?
This book is a page-turner and a real insight into memory and trauma. This book is also complicated. If you have experienced trauma approach this book with caution. In particular, you should be aware that there are chapters during which the author reflects on her husband in fond and loving language, and when she lives through national tragedies and fails to grasp her husband's role
and the magnitude of his crimes. Be cautious of her story during those passages because she transports herself into her mindset at the time and shows us her view in the moment--a view to which she says repeatedly that she no longer subscribes. Maria is boldly truthful in those chapters, bluntly revealing her inability to comprehend. Stilly, it is particularly difficult to read of her deep love for that works of art she purchased knowing that she obtained them with her husband's ill gotten gains. A truth she has to live with. All of the reflections on her life, the recreations of her admirations for her husband, mixed with her accounts of the reconciliatory and investigative conversations she had while researching this book, are painful to read.
It is also difficult not to be disgusted with her portrayal of loss over her financial and social statuses considering the horror that was responsible for elevating them. However, she was sucked into Escobar's orbit at 13, exploited at 14, married at 15, pregnant at 16 and widowed by 24. It's easy to overlook the age difference between them and the horrifyingly young age she was (which I think the author herself does because, well, she lived it) but seriously the man began pursuing her when he was 24 years old. 24. Hanging around a 13 year old.
This book is an opportunity to see, really see, a different kind of victim, but a victim nonetheless, of the world's first Narco-Terrorist, and to exercise compassion and ally-ship for survivors of grooming, abuse, and sexual assault.
Culturally and socially, we've learned an important lesson over the last five years or so--and that is to believe survivors. This book will give you an opportunity to practice that, and the feelings you experience while reading it will tell you a lot about yourself and your biases about women and survivors of abuse and sexual assault. Henao offers you this opportunity to grow as an ally. Will you take it?
This book is a page-turner and a real insight into memory and trauma. This book is also complicated. If you have experienced trauma approach this book with caution. In particular, you should be aware that there are chapters during which the author reflects on her husband in fond and loving language, and when she lives through national tragedies and fails to grasp her husband's role
and the magnitude of his crimes. Be cautious of her story during those passages because she transports herself into her mindset at the time and shows us her view in the moment--a view to which she says repeatedly that she no longer subscribes. Maria is boldly truthful in those chapters, bluntly revealing her inability to comprehend. Stilly, it is particularly difficult to read of her deep love for that works of art she purchased knowing that she obtained them with her husband's ill gotten gains. A truth she has to live with. All of the reflections on her life, the recreations of her admirations for her husband, mixed with her accounts of the reconciliatory and investigative conversations she had while researching this book, are painful to read.
It is also difficult not to be disgusted with her portrayal of loss over her financial and social statuses considering the horror that was responsible for elevating them. However, she was sucked into Escobar's orbit at 13, exploited at 14, married at 15, pregnant at 16 and widowed by 24. It's easy to overlook the age difference between them and the horrifyingly young age she was (which I think the author herself does because, well, she lived it) but seriously the man began pursuing her when he was 24 years old. 24. Hanging around a 13 year old.
This book is an opportunity to see, really see, a different kind of victim, but a victim nonetheless, of the world's first Narco-Terrorist, and to exercise compassion and ally-ship for survivors of grooming, abuse, and sexual assault.