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A review by desterman
Heartsick: Three Stories About Love and Loss, and What Happens in Between by Jessie Stephens
4.0
Heart Sick (2021) by Jessie Stephens can best be described as creative non-fiction. Having suffered an awful relationship breakup just as she was meant to fly overseas with her boyfriend, Stephens describes trying to find something to read to help her process her emotions – but there is nothing that really satisfies her. Thus she decides to take a deep dive into heartbreak in this book, hoping to help others in similar situations. She rightly identifies heartbreak as being one of the most challenging and life altering experiences we ever have and something that continues to live in us no matter how hard we try to overcome it.
Her book, told through the omnipotent eye of Stephens as narrator, alternates chapters between three protagonists – Ana, Claire and Patrick. Their names have been changed, but their experiences of heartbreak have not. Ana is in her forties, has three children and has been married for 25 years. Claire is in her thirties and after she moves to London is introduced to Maggie. Patrick is in his early twenties and has not really been in a relationship yet.
The book follows the three as they move through new and pivotal relationships in their lives. Their personalities and their relationships are all very different, but the story is carefully structured to ensure the trajectory of their relationships are similar. We get insights into the process of falling in love for each of them, the developments of these relationships, and the way they inevitably fall apart. We already know from the opening chapters where the protagonists find themselves at the end of these relationships, so a bond is formed with them early. We become invested in them, in the minute aspects of their lives and love stories, which makes their heartbreak our heartbreak.
Stephens writing style is very easy to read and fills a dark, depressing terrain with colour and light. She deftly explores the complexity of relationships and how breakups are rarely sudden, but the massive shockwaves they cause to everyday life deepens the impact so they can feel as unpredictable and destructive as an earthquake. I found sharing their shock, grief, pain and anguish difficult, but necessary in looking at these experiences under a microscope. What is so confronting is how authentically Stephens has been able to portray how the events of the breakups are so incomprehensible for these people and how much they yearn for understanding and closure. But, more than anything, they yearn for it not to be at all.
The main message of the book though is the universality of heartbreak and how, despite the differences in the stories and our own experiences of heartbreak, there are so many of the thoughts and feeling that are the same. Stephens finishes the book by emphasising the fact that these experiences are not ones that we simply get over either. Like any type of significant loss, they shape us into the people we will be in the next relationship, and the one after that and so on.
At times I did have mixed feelings about the protagonists and their partners – frequently frustrated with them for their choices and being unable to see what is clearly in front of them. Similarly, I loathed their partners frequently too, and how careless they are with other hearts. However, this book is written with such empathy and insight, it is impossible not to be moved.
Her book, told through the omnipotent eye of Stephens as narrator, alternates chapters between three protagonists – Ana, Claire and Patrick. Their names have been changed, but their experiences of heartbreak have not. Ana is in her forties, has three children and has been married for 25 years. Claire is in her thirties and after she moves to London is introduced to Maggie. Patrick is in his early twenties and has not really been in a relationship yet.
The book follows the three as they move through new and pivotal relationships in their lives. Their personalities and their relationships are all very different, but the story is carefully structured to ensure the trajectory of their relationships are similar. We get insights into the process of falling in love for each of them, the developments of these relationships, and the way they inevitably fall apart. We already know from the opening chapters where the protagonists find themselves at the end of these relationships, so a bond is formed with them early. We become invested in them, in the minute aspects of their lives and love stories, which makes their heartbreak our heartbreak.
Stephens writing style is very easy to read and fills a dark, depressing terrain with colour and light. She deftly explores the complexity of relationships and how breakups are rarely sudden, but the massive shockwaves they cause to everyday life deepens the impact so they can feel as unpredictable and destructive as an earthquake. I found sharing their shock, grief, pain and anguish difficult, but necessary in looking at these experiences under a microscope. What is so confronting is how authentically Stephens has been able to portray how the events of the breakups are so incomprehensible for these people and how much they yearn for understanding and closure. But, more than anything, they yearn for it not to be at all.
The main message of the book though is the universality of heartbreak and how, despite the differences in the stories and our own experiences of heartbreak, there are so many of the thoughts and feeling that are the same. Stephens finishes the book by emphasising the fact that these experiences are not ones that we simply get over either. Like any type of significant loss, they shape us into the people we will be in the next relationship, and the one after that and so on.
At times I did have mixed feelings about the protagonists and their partners – frequently frustrated with them for their choices and being unable to see what is clearly in front of them. Similarly, I loathed their partners frequently too, and how careless they are with other hearts. However, this book is written with such empathy and insight, it is impossible not to be moved.