A review by iam
The Painted Crown by Megan Derr

adventurous emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

4.5

I remember reading this book for the first time and it meant so much to me on a very personal level - my second read was a bit less emotional but I still enjoyed it greatly.

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Content warnings include: violence, hostage situations, kidnapping, sex on-page, depressionattempted suicide by overdose and allergic reaction, chronic pain from disabling war injury; mentions of child abuse and neglect.

The book deals with quite a bit of heavy fodder, especially in the beginning. Istari is deeply depressed and his state of mind continuously worsens until he finds a new purpose in keeping Teverem and the children safe. Even as he begins to form profound relationships with them, the constant neglect and abuse Istari has suffered his entire life keep him doubting that he is really wanted.
His lack of self-worth is a constant theme in the book and colours his entire thinking and his actions from beginning to end - I liked that this wasn't portrayed as something that can be fixed through a relationship or a happy ending.

Both protagonist and love interest are on the a-spectrum: Istari is (grey-)asexual and Teverem is demisexual. There is another side character who is sex-repulsed. They talk openly about their sexualities and how they feel, and it made me extremely happy to see that in a fantasy book!