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A review by lunabbly
Surviving the White Gaze: A Memoir by Rebecca Carroll
5.0
I didn't feel like Carroll sensationalized or downplayed the trauma she experienced. It feels like Carroll did a lot of work to write this memoir because she conjures up so many painful memories with a lot of care, tenderness, and thought in the stories she's telling and centers the humanity of her life and the people in it. There was no redemption, no "gotcha" moments -- just a really honest (I don't want to say objective because that's just not right lol) account of herself and her relationships between family, lovers, former fuckboys, friends, Blackness, race, gender, etc...
So in saying all of this, I feel perturbed about all of the white people on here who are reviewing and giving Carroll's memoir low ratings because it was "dry" or "boring". I think y'all need to be checked about how you want Carroll's story to be told, I think y'all want some trauma porn out here and that's pretty disgusting. Please take your reviews and go do some anti-racist trainings or reflections because that's the kind of energy you're exuding when you're complaining about how this memoir was monotonous.
With that aside, I'm deeply appreciative of Carroll's memoir and her courage in telling this story. I think every daughter and mother have a special kind of relationship. Carroll's ability to see through the loyalty, the want, the desire to be her mother's daughter and for her mother to be a kind, emotionally nurturing, and empowering mother -- is empowering in itself. I think a lot of daughters and folks who were raised/socialized to be daughters can relate to wanting these feelings and wanting to be seen and loved by their mothers. Appreciated, respected by their mothers. And it's a deeply vulnerable position to be in and to share, so I'm thankful that Carroll took the time to write this with sensitivity.
A quote that stuck out in the very beginning, "It was very beautiful and we were very lucky. But beauty is subjective, and luck doesn't care about the choices people make."
I didn't hate anyone in her life and I think that's why Carroll's writing is so powerful -- she can justly and fairly tell her story with emotion and sensitivity. Highly recommend.
So in saying all of this, I feel perturbed about all of the white people on here who are reviewing and giving Carroll's memoir low ratings because it was "dry" or "boring". I think y'all need to be checked about how you want Carroll's story to be told, I think y'all want some trauma porn out here and that's pretty disgusting. Please take your reviews and go do some anti-racist trainings or reflections because that's the kind of energy you're exuding when you're complaining about how this memoir was monotonous.
With that aside, I'm deeply appreciative of Carroll's memoir and her courage in telling this story. I think every daughter and mother have a special kind of relationship. Carroll's ability to see through the loyalty, the want, the desire to be her mother's daughter and for her mother to be a kind, emotionally nurturing, and empowering mother -- is empowering in itself. I think a lot of daughters and folks who were raised/socialized to be daughters can relate to wanting these feelings and wanting to be seen and loved by their mothers. Appreciated, respected by their mothers. And it's a deeply vulnerable position to be in and to share, so I'm thankful that Carroll took the time to write this with sensitivity.
A quote that stuck out in the very beginning, "It was very beautiful and we were very lucky. But beauty is subjective, and luck doesn't care about the choices people make."
I didn't hate anyone in her life and I think that's why Carroll's writing is so powerful -- she can justly and fairly tell her story with emotion and sensitivity. Highly recommend.