A review by shannonleighd
Entice by Carrie Jones

1.0

I can't stand this series. I want to punch myself in the face for continuing on and checking these out from the library. That's one thing though; I haven't spent a single dime on these books. Yes, I've spent a few hours reading them, but the investment has been small. I'd advise the same for any others out there who are curious about this series - check them out from the library, because then at least you'll hate yourself a little less when you've finished reading them and realize you've only wasted time and not money.

This whole series is based upon the selfishness of Zara White. Her boyfriend died in the last book and so in this one she stops at nothing to retrieve him from Valhalla; the place where fallen warriors go. Or, whatever. The mythology is pretty much thrown together however Jones feels is the most angsty. No matter at what cost, Zara is going to get back the boy she only barely knows. Who cares if someone dies along the way? Or that people get used and abused to achieve her goals? They knew what they were getting into, right? Damn the consequences - Zara is getting her boyfriend back.

Jones's writing is terrible. With the first book she decided to start each chapter with descriptions of phobias, and in this one she chooses to start each chapter with something much worse. She uses Facebook statuses, tweets, news channel blurbs, and blog posts as a way to start each chapter. You might think, hey, this makes the book relevant to the teens of today! But no, it mostly screams, "hey look, I'm hip! I know what's cool! I'm with it!" But really, it's just a sad plot device that doesn't add anything to the story, and most of the time all it does is recap what happened in the previous chapter. The chapters are 8-10 pages at most and recaps are just not necessary. Even a teen with ADHD could follow the storyline without a recap, so it just feels like page-filler.

She also tends to describe things that just don't make sense or work for the scene. Telling me that your character lifts his leg and plays with his sock is dumb. Especially when he's doing this for a whole conversation, standing on one leg. It doesn't add anything, and it is awkward and useless. "Soft, mushy-looking eyes" are gross. Describing your "heart whooshing into your spleen" and then your "heart falling out along with your stomach" doesn't make anatomical sense. Saying "his face is a broken branch" isn't a descriptor, and even as a simile it doesn't work. Jones's writing is frustrating, amateurish, and an affront to English teachers everywhere. The fact that her characters "squee" should have clued me into the fact that this was not a work I should take seriously. But still, it makes me angry that a book like this was published.

Also, I do not need to know how everything and everyone smells. I get it. Your character has enhanced senses. Please, I don't need to know that this girl smells like coconuts, that boy smells like pine, and pixies smell like mushrooms and Dove soap. THIS DOESN'T ADD ANYTHING TO THE STORY. It's just dumb and annoying, and strikes me as filler. Oh, you can't think of anything interesting to talk about? Then describe how every person in the room smells, that'll surely add something to the story. Uh huh.

Even if I could get past the annoyances I had with her writing, Jones still felt the need to steep this novel is EXTREME TEEN MELODRAMA. Case in point:
"Something in my face must show my fear, because he throws up his hand and rails off the side of the couch. He staggers toward me before falling on his knees in front of me."

Someone get that boy a fainting couch, STAT. Seriously though, that's how most of the book read; overreaction and melodramatic teen angst are the bread and butter of this story.

But then, even when parts are supposed to be intense, I found myself laughing. This was probably not the intended effect. Characters died and I couldn't help chuckling. I'm sure this wasn't what Jones was going for, but there's just no tension during these scenes. I'm not emotionally attached to any of the characters and I found it funny when they were killed. Yeah, probably not how I was supposed to feel, but I can't help that.

To be blunt: this book sucked. The first book held promise, the second book was stupid, and this last book isn't worth the paper it's printed on. I don't care about a single character, the plot is ridiculous, and the writing is on par with a teen's livejournal. Seriously, it's barely worth the trouble of checking it out from the library. Do yourself a favor and just stay away.

My reviews of Need (Need, #1) and Captivate (Need, #2).