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pixykayte 's review for:
Pussy: A Reclamation
by Regena Thomashauer
I really went back and forth on how I felt about this book. On one hand, it is definitely necessary for women to take back ownership of their divinity and stand in their radiance. Helping each other see the light, finding joy in life and following what excites us, setting boundaries and not being a doormat, removing expectations of the patriarchy and stepping into femininity as a power not a weakness, cultivating sensuality within ourselves instead of expecting someone else to do it, allowing ourselves to be guided by our own intuition - I am for all of these things.
Things I did not agree with - that men are happiest when they are pleasing their women (which seems to infantilize men, and I'm not really down for doing that to any gender), that trauma can just be overcome by listening to your pussy, the focus on sex being the main way a woman should receive and tap into pleasure, ignoring addiction and compulsion issues, the heteronormative focus with occasional "or woman!" peppered in almost as an afterthought, a short disclaimer at the beginning kind of addressing trans/nonbinary folks but not really speaking to it at all after that, that therapy is useless if you're not trapped into your pussy energy, and expecting all women to respond like magic to getting to know their pussies.
While I can see tapping into the energy of that creative "pussy" space as a potential positive force in women's lives, I felt really angry in some spots when it felt like she was assuming that everyone would have the same experience she did (having "ruptures" that tear us open which are lessons instead of allowing ourselves to just process grief without an agenda, having to birth a child to understand wanting to help other women, magically healing depression by listening to your pussy, etc). I did not identify with the very "black and white" aspects of a lot of her examples - women are much more nuanced than that.
I was really hoping for more, and while I do believe this book can help women connect with themselves more deeply, I personally was not really enthused with how I felt as I went on this journey with her.
Things I did not agree with - that men are happiest when they are pleasing their women (which seems to infantilize men, and I'm not really down for doing that to any gender), that trauma can just be overcome by listening to your pussy, the focus on sex being the main way a woman should receive and tap into pleasure, ignoring addiction and compulsion issues, the heteronormative focus with occasional "or woman!" peppered in almost as an afterthought, a short disclaimer at the beginning kind of addressing trans/nonbinary folks but not really speaking to it at all after that, that therapy is useless if you're not trapped into your pussy energy, and expecting all women to respond like magic to getting to know their pussies.
While I can see tapping into the energy of that creative "pussy" space as a potential positive force in women's lives, I felt really angry in some spots when it felt like she was assuming that everyone would have the same experience she did (having "ruptures" that tear us open which are lessons instead of allowing ourselves to just process grief without an agenda, having to birth a child to understand wanting to help other women, magically healing depression by listening to your pussy, etc). I did not identify with the very "black and white" aspects of a lot of her examples - women are much more nuanced than that.
I was really hoping for more, and while I do believe this book can help women connect with themselves more deeply, I personally was not really enthused with how I felt as I went on this journey with her.