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ryanpfw 's review for:
Hold My Hand
by Michael Barakiva
I wish I could give this book a higher rating.
Spoilers for Hold My Hand.
One Man Guy sits on my Goodreads favorites shelf. I haven't read it beyond the one time, but was left with a decent mental image of who Alek is as a person, along with his eclectic Armenian family and all the food they put way in an average week. (I literally had my Armenian wife read One Man Guy on the off chance she got a hankering for grape leaves.). I remember that Ethan was a lesson in "Don't judge a book by its cover" and that much of the first book involved issues of acceptance. As a person, Ethan didn't stay with me much beyond that initial read, nor did Becky stay with me at all. Girl-who-is-best-friends-with-the-lead-gay-guy is a common trope and wasn't extraordinary to me here. Claire Olivia and Leah from Openly Straight and Simon Vs stayed with me far longer.
Stepping back into the universe, there's a lot here that works, and a lot added in that contradicts what works and muddies the pace. I loved the bits at the Armenian church, specifically Alek questioning his faith, virtually on a dime. That's okay. That's how life works, and an epiphany that snowballs is absolutely valid and realistic. He moves from trying to reason with a seemingly reasonable reverend (who then asks him to remain closeted at church) to trying "blunt or nothing" in expanding his Christmas speech to directly question church doctrine, to finally walking away when the gulf between faith and practice of faith is irrevocable. Alek is growing up and won't tolerate hypocrisy. That's a stellar message.
Until it isn't. The Alek/Ethan plot line involves Ethan pressuring Alek to have sex. Sort of. He says the right things, doesn't explicitly push it, but after being told no a number of times presumably buys condoms for Alek's birthday, uses them to cheat on Alek with his ex-boyfriend who once cheated on him, takes a few days off to deal with his emotions after cheating, and then shows up seemingly unaffected and tries to sleep with Alek a week later using the remaining condoms in the three pack. He's older than Alek, and perhaps the relationship wasn't compatible given the age gulf. He didn't seem to have a lot of visible guilt after those first few days, but did seem horrified that he was caught and morphs into this whole other person bent on redemption. His behavior was horrible, and until the last three pages, unexplained, and seems very much out of character. Saying you're sorry isn't sufficient no matter how many times you repeat it. Dealing with the underlying issues is the only hope, and that wasn't done here at all.
Alek's reaction to being cheated on is to have an emotional collapse for a few days, which his parents, despite their idiocyncracies, handle compassionately. He comes out of his shell again, at which point Becky weighs in, telling him perhaps the cheating was only kissing and wasn't that big of a deal, and when told that Ethan had sex with his ex-boyfriend on Alek's birthday, says that it's Alek's responsibility to break things off explicitly and that he really needs to speak to Ethan about what happened. Ethan follows up by telling Alek that he owes Ethan a second chance, and Alek quickly falls into line.
That's infuriating and ridiculous! Alek owes Ethan nothing at this point, and given how the plot went out of its way to cast Ethan's behavior in the worst possible light, it sends a terrible message when Alek is pushed to forgive him without much question.
Alek tries to thaw things out with Ethan, going on a date at Ethan's house, where Alek takes an innocent statement out of context as an excuse to break things off and storms out again, giving Becky an opportunity to chastise Alek for his flawed logic, which of course makes little sense. Ethan's just this perfect guy who inexplicably made this horrible mistake in a vacuum, and even when we finally find out why he did what he did, which should have been dealt with prominently and not on the second to last page, it's underwhelming. I really feel that the betrayal was added to the story to deliver angst and conflict, but wasn't fleshed out well enough and couldn't be organically walked back.
Given the church plot highlights Alek sticking up for himself and not tolerating hypocrisy, the romance plot really makes him seem like a doormat. It feels like he has the right instincts and those around him are pushing him into bad decisions, and the story would have been well served to let him recognize that and make his own choice, even if things ended up in the same place. The entire introduction of Remi's insufferable character, who is spared any consequences or comeuppance for his behavior, further turns Alek into a doormat. Alek tells his parents about Ethan's betrayal, so there is no reason he couldn't tell them openly, in front of Remi, what Remi did and why he doesn't want Remi in his home. He literally stands up to his entire church, but not to the arrogant jerk who hurt him so badly?
I'm hopeful the series won't end here and we'll see more character growth from Alek in the future.
Spoilers for Hold My Hand.
One Man Guy sits on my Goodreads favorites shelf. I haven't read it beyond the one time, but was left with a decent mental image of who Alek is as a person, along with his eclectic Armenian family and all the food they put way in an average week. (I literally had my Armenian wife read One Man Guy on the off chance she got a hankering for grape leaves.). I remember that Ethan was a lesson in "Don't judge a book by its cover" and that much of the first book involved issues of acceptance. As a person, Ethan didn't stay with me much beyond that initial read, nor did Becky stay with me at all. Girl-who-is-best-friends-with-the-lead-gay-guy is a common trope and wasn't extraordinary to me here. Claire Olivia and Leah from Openly Straight and Simon Vs stayed with me far longer.
Stepping back into the universe, there's a lot here that works, and a lot added in that contradicts what works and muddies the pace. I loved the bits at the Armenian church, specifically Alek questioning his faith, virtually on a dime. That's okay. That's how life works, and an epiphany that snowballs is absolutely valid and realistic. He moves from trying to reason with a seemingly reasonable reverend (who then asks him to remain closeted at church) to trying "blunt or nothing" in expanding his Christmas speech to directly question church doctrine, to finally walking away when the gulf between faith and practice of faith is irrevocable. Alek is growing up and won't tolerate hypocrisy. That's a stellar message.
Until it isn't. The Alek/Ethan plot line involves Ethan pressuring Alek to have sex. Sort of. He says the right things, doesn't explicitly push it, but after being told no a number of times presumably buys condoms for Alek's birthday, uses them to cheat on Alek with his ex-boyfriend who once cheated on him, takes a few days off to deal with his emotions after cheating, and then shows up seemingly unaffected and tries to sleep with Alek a week later using the remaining condoms in the three pack. He's older than Alek, and perhaps the relationship wasn't compatible given the age gulf. He didn't seem to have a lot of visible guilt after those first few days, but did seem horrified that he was caught and morphs into this whole other person bent on redemption. His behavior was horrible, and until the last three pages, unexplained, and seems very much out of character. Saying you're sorry isn't sufficient no matter how many times you repeat it. Dealing with the underlying issues is the only hope, and that wasn't done here at all.
Alek's reaction to being cheated on is to have an emotional collapse for a few days, which his parents, despite their idiocyncracies, handle compassionately. He comes out of his shell again, at which point Becky weighs in, telling him perhaps the cheating was only kissing and wasn't that big of a deal, and when told that Ethan had sex with his ex-boyfriend on Alek's birthday, says that it's Alek's responsibility to break things off explicitly and that he really needs to speak to Ethan about what happened. Ethan follows up by telling Alek that he owes Ethan a second chance, and Alek quickly falls into line.
That's infuriating and ridiculous! Alek owes Ethan nothing at this point, and given how the plot went out of its way to cast Ethan's behavior in the worst possible light, it sends a terrible message when Alek is pushed to forgive him without much question.
Alek tries to thaw things out with Ethan, going on a date at Ethan's house, where Alek takes an innocent statement out of context as an excuse to break things off and storms out again, giving Becky an opportunity to chastise Alek for his flawed logic, which of course makes little sense. Ethan's just this perfect guy who inexplicably made this horrible mistake in a vacuum, and even when we finally find out why he did what he did, which should have been dealt with prominently and not on the second to last page, it's underwhelming. I really feel that the betrayal was added to the story to deliver angst and conflict, but wasn't fleshed out well enough and couldn't be organically walked back.
Given the church plot highlights Alek sticking up for himself and not tolerating hypocrisy, the romance plot really makes him seem like a doormat. It feels like he has the right instincts and those around him are pushing him into bad decisions, and the story would have been well served to let him recognize that and make his own choice, even if things ended up in the same place. The entire introduction of Remi's insufferable character, who is spared any consequences or comeuppance for his behavior, further turns Alek into a doormat. Alek tells his parents about Ethan's betrayal, so there is no reason he couldn't tell them openly, in front of Remi, what Remi did and why he doesn't want Remi in his home. He literally stands up to his entire church, but not to the arrogant jerk who hurt him so badly?
I'm hopeful the series won't end here and we'll see more character growth from Alek in the future.