A review by pinkblingd
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-joo

dark emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? N/A
• Strong character development? N/A
• Loveable characters? N/A
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

"Since she became a full-time housewife, she often noticed that there was a polarised attitude regarding domestic labour. Some demeaned it as 'bumming around at home', while others glorified it as 'work that sustains life', but none tried to calculate it's monetary value. Probably because the moment you put a price on something, someone has to pay."

The above passage captures the core issue of gender roles in patriarchy and is from the book ', Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982' — a 2016 book by Cho Nam-Joo. This book was one of the inspirations for the 4B feminist movement in 2019, Korea. 

(I highly encourage everyone to read the reaction to and influence of this book. From rise in feminist conversations the following year, it's influences in the Korean me-too movement, to male fans of a female KPop idol burning up her photos for recommending this book. Yes, the book is recommended by RM of BTS but I doubt anyone burned his photos for it. 

Even with regards to the 4B moment there is a lot of misinformation pushed by western TikTok/Instagram — to begin with, the 4B movement did not cause lower birth rates in Korea🤦🏽‍♀️. And it wasn't as large a movement/resistance as the west made it out to be.)

The book is very small at 161 pages and split into 6 sections. The very first section is set in the present (2016) and reminded me strongly of Han Kang's The Vegetarian, but way less intense and a fast read. 

Jiyoung is a new mother and if the readers know anything about what it is to be a woman and a new mother, they know she is on the edge of madness. And if the reader doesn't know what it is to be a woman and a new mother, the next 4 chapters are the stories of Jiyoung's life — from her time in the school, through her college years, her first job, marriage, childbirth, childcare, and her first job after childbirth.

The last chapter is surprising and probably the best part of the book. 

In just 161 pages the author Cho Nam-Joo has given voice to the many layered issues faced by modern women. And pulled off the most beautiful and subtle depiction of the modern man with all his good nature, feminist ideologies, supportive parterhood, and progressive approach and actions. 

This book is for every man, woman, boy and girl — anyone but mothers; they already know this story. I do believe many will miss the many subtle between-the-line messages. 

PS:

Many will rush forward to say that such a story is a rare one and that most women today have all the help and support as mothers. As someone who is friends with few mothers and has a sister who is a mother, the book nailed the experience of womanhood and motherhood. 

There's a part in the book when Jiyoung hears men at a cafe call her a 'mum-roach' for living off the husband's paycheck and having it real cosy. I personally have heard so many stories around this depiction of homemakers and stay-at-home mothers. I loved reading this moment in the book — the author does not tell us what is fair and unfair but lets us feel every bit uncomfortable with the unfairness of it all.