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A review by v_larr
If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio
3.0
This book is ultimately about a theatre kid who thinks exclusively with his dick, resulting in a lot of stupid shit that happens which of course, escalates into murder and insanity.
So, yeah, perfectly on brand for a book by a Shakespeare fanatic.
Full review to come.
Review has come.
Okay yeah it’s time for a long review. I procrastinated on math for this.
Listen. I was that bitch in high school English class. You ask me about Shakespeare and I won’t hesitate to talk about how I read every one of Lady Macbeth’s lines in the eleventh grade (except for her first soliloquy, read by the teacher), and Macduff when he “was from his mother’s womb untimely ripp’d.” I’m a big fan. The only reason I didn’t fall into a Hamlet obsession was because we read it quickly and without much depth due to COVID.
Despite all that I act like I know more about Shakespeare than anyone who studied it in college. So this type of book seemed perfect for me.
And for a good chunk of time, it was fantastic. Murder mystery, a group of assholeish theatre kids, Shakespeare recited in one way shape or form in every page. Attempts at taking Shakespeare’s way of writing and translating it to a modern text. Yeah. This was the good kush.
But there was so much that was severely lacking. The characters were one thing. There was clearly a point in making them into archetypes, for the metaphor and all. But that just made them so shallow. They all had their roles to play and there was no interest in trying to break from the status quo. And it just resulted in everything feeling so stagnant. I was hoping to be caught by surprise by someone’s actions but….meh.
I think in general there was an attempt to replicate those tragedies where you know what happens right from the start. Like the beginning of Romeo and Juliet, where they tell you straight up these kids will die. But you want to continue anyway because you want to see how it all happens. And it’s perfectly possible to prevent these things from happening but you can’t, just have to sit through it and suffer through it.
But like. Some of the events of this book just didn’t make sense. Especially the end. Not in a tragic “it couldn’t have happened any other way” way but in a “you couldn’t have been a little more creative?” way. Especially by the end (or I guess, Act V).
Next up the relationships. Dear God, was I revolted by the sexual/romantic(?) relationship between Oliver and Meredith. It felt awful. Almost as forced as the main character in Loveless (except ofc Oliver was clearly not asexual this case). It was so icky and distasteful considering what had happened with Richard at that time. But more the fact that I just couldn’t feel the chemistry between them.
Richard confused me. He didn’t get the lead role once and suddenly he becomes a super aggressive no brain maniac? Yes, there was hostility right from the start at how he got everything he wanted, so I understand the idea of him cracking when things don’t go his way. But really, what was he expecting? That the others would go, “Oh no, he pushed me and hurt me a lot, surely this means the casting people won't do this again!” Buddy what? And everyone else just let it happen. Yelled at him a bit but did nothing when that clearly didn’t work. What did they expect to happen? If he wasn’t killed he would’ve been the one doing the killing. He could’ve been a good representation of abusive people who escalate bit by bit by exerting power over others in manipulative ways before moving on to aggression and violence. Instead it felt like he went from 0 to 100 really quick. Even at the beginning he was more assholeish and ignorant in a way that no one really took seriously. But by the end I pictured him moving around like some hungry giant who didn’t plan much and just wanted to fight everything he saw. Then he died and I was just like well I’m glad that’s over.
Anyways, moving on. I was especially pissed that this group of friends wasn’t the type where everyone was queer and they all flirted with each other in some way (except Richard and Wren, being cousins). So when I noticed that Alexander was being singled out as the gay friend I was kind of pissed. And as I said before, the relationship between Oliver and Meredith screamed compulsory heterosexuality to me. It felt like he was trying to describe her as a woman written by a man, but like I said, I couldn’t grasp their chemistry.
Actually let me backtrack. Meredith is a woman written by a man (derogatory). Wren was so far in the background I forgot she existed so many times. Fillipa could’ve been so much more useful but since she wasn’t in a relationship with any of the guys in the group I guess she didn’t have much to do /sarcasm.
And don’t get me started on Oliver and James. Jesus Christ. Actually, do get me started! Because the hype I had for them dwindled more and more as Act V progressed.
Listen. I knew from the start that Oliver had a crush on James. I know my fucking subtext. I know an oblivious queer when I see it. And also I was running under the assumption that they were all queer so I thought he was just an oblivious little gay who’d figure it out eventually and well, yeah he did. I have my gaydar and I wasn’t gonna let myself be queerbaited.
But what happened after that was just utterly ridiculous. Genuinely, stupidly, insanely bullshit.
I mean, it was predictable that James would be the one to kill Richard. That part works well with Shakespearean narrative. I even said it earlier. What did they expect to happen? With the way things were going, it was clear that Richard would go too far once again and would pay the price for it. And James being the #1 victim would be the one to do it. That part, albeit a bit disappointed since I would’ve liked a bit of a twist, was set in stone.
But the things Oliver did in response to learning that information was just so stupid? Why would you take the fall for it? Why? So James wouldn’t get hurt? Cause you loved him so so much? Are you fucking stupid? I expect this ridiculousness from Romeo and Juliet being teenagers and all but you’re a whole ass 22 year old man ruining the next decade of your life because you can’t think with your brain? Do you think no one else in the group would be traumatized and in pain for that decade as well?
If they had all been honest from the very start (with Richard’s escalating aggression, with the events at the lake) I’m pretty sure James would’ve reasonably been able to defend himself as self-defense (which, as we all fucking read, was the truth). But they were so scared of seeming suspicious that they omitted every piece of information that would’ve supported their innocence.
Like yeah it checks out in the “of course it had to happen this way” idea where they act stupid trying to prevent one thing which leads to another bad thing. But uggghhh it was infuriating more than it was sad. I ask anyone reading this to namedrop Shakespeare plays where this sort of thing happens at this shallow level so I know to avoid it.
It just felt so so ridiculous. And this was the last, oh, 50-100 pages of the novel. Richard dies in Act III (omg just like Caesar whooo would’ve thunk it????) No one really tries to figure out what happened to him. James confesses in Act V. What happens in between? What happens before that?
Right from the beginning of the book, you know that group is gonna go up in flames because the introduction to it highly suggests that they don’t really like each other in the first place. Richard was singled out as The Asshole right from the start. So yeah.
After he dies there’s a decent exploration into grief and regret and guilt. I mean, they all let him die. He was alive when they found him and they just waited for him to die instead of trying to help him. And all the other stuff about how it messed up the group dynamic, blah blah yeah it was interesting and sad.
Now to the best part of this book.
When they played Macbeth at the beach, that was the best scene in the entire beach. I could visualize it. I felt like I was fucking there. And now I desperately need to see a college group do a rendition of Macbeth. Desperately. In fact, does anyone have any recommendations for movie adaptations that are really good?
Yeah, the plays in general. Page on page of them just reciting Shakespeare. I loved that. And then when they were enough twats to just speak in Shakespeare lines while bickering. I loved that too. I did take out Othello and Hamlet at the library recently so I might just read those.
What other things?
I expected more of a mystery whodunnit but it wasn’t like that at all. I don’t think the reader is expected to immerse themselves in figuring out the suspects, the twists, all that. It’s more about the relationships. But I didn’t like them enough.
I absolutely loved Alexander until he got more on the drugs. I mean, he kind of gave Cardan vibes.
The teachers at that school sucked, considering they gave the kids the same roles every time. Isn’t part of being a good actor having range? Come on now, no wonder those students ended up fucked up.
There were some distasteful lines that I’m trying to remember. The way some people were described, some offhanded comments I thought were really strange.
I hated the way they wrote about Oliver’s sisters. Again, one dimensional and there was so much judgement towards the sister with the eating disorder.
The final paragraph of the book was a fucking copout and serves no purpose being there except to give the shippers hope.
I forget everything else. Goodnight.
So, yeah, perfectly on brand for a book by a Shakespeare fanatic.
Full review to come.
Review has come.
Okay yeah it’s time for a long review. I procrastinated on math for this.
Listen. I was that bitch in high school English class. You ask me about Shakespeare and I won’t hesitate to talk about how I read every one of Lady Macbeth’s lines in the eleventh grade (except for her first soliloquy, read by the teacher), and Macduff when he “was from his mother’s womb untimely ripp’d.” I’m a big fan. The only reason I didn’t fall into a Hamlet obsession was because we read it quickly and without much depth due to COVID.
Despite all that I act like I know more about Shakespeare than anyone who studied it in college. So this type of book seemed perfect for me.
And for a good chunk of time, it was fantastic. Murder mystery, a group of assholeish theatre kids, Shakespeare recited in one way shape or form in every page. Attempts at taking Shakespeare’s way of writing and translating it to a modern text. Yeah. This was the good kush.
But there was so much that was severely lacking. The characters were one thing. There was clearly a point in making them into archetypes, for the metaphor and all. But that just made them so shallow. They all had their roles to play and there was no interest in trying to break from the status quo. And it just resulted in everything feeling so stagnant. I was hoping to be caught by surprise by someone’s actions but….meh.
I think in general there was an attempt to replicate those tragedies where you know what happens right from the start. Like the beginning of Romeo and Juliet, where they tell you straight up these kids will die. But you want to continue anyway because you want to see how it all happens. And it’s perfectly possible to prevent these things from happening but you can’t, just have to sit through it and suffer through it.
But like. Some of the events of this book just didn’t make sense. Especially the end. Not in a tragic “it couldn’t have happened any other way” way but in a “you couldn’t have been a little more creative?” way. Especially by the end (or I guess, Act V).
Next up the relationships. Dear God, was I revolted by the sexual/romantic(?) relationship between Oliver and Meredith. It felt awful. Almost as forced as the main character in Loveless (except ofc Oliver was clearly not asexual this case). It was so icky and distasteful considering what had happened with Richard at that time. But more the fact that I just couldn’t feel the chemistry between them.
Richard confused me. He didn’t get the lead role once and suddenly he becomes a super aggressive no brain maniac? Yes, there was hostility right from the start at how he got everything he wanted, so I understand the idea of him cracking when things don’t go his way. But really, what was he expecting? That the others would go, “Oh no, he pushed me and hurt me a lot, surely this means the casting people won't do this again!” Buddy what? And everyone else just let it happen. Yelled at him a bit but did nothing when that clearly didn’t work. What did they expect to happen? If he wasn’t killed he would’ve been the one doing the killing. He could’ve been a good representation of abusive people who escalate bit by bit by exerting power over others in manipulative ways before moving on to aggression and violence. Instead it felt like he went from 0 to 100 really quick. Even at the beginning he was more assholeish and ignorant in a way that no one really took seriously. But by the end I pictured him moving around like some hungry giant who didn’t plan much and just wanted to fight everything he saw. Then he died and I was just like well I’m glad that’s over.
Anyways, moving on. I was especially pissed that this group of friends wasn’t the type where everyone was queer and they all flirted with each other in some way (except Richard and Wren, being cousins). So when I noticed that Alexander was being singled out as the gay friend I was kind of pissed. And as I said before, the relationship between Oliver and Meredith screamed compulsory heterosexuality to me. It felt like he was trying to describe her as a woman written by a man, but like I said, I couldn’t grasp their chemistry.
Actually let me backtrack. Meredith is a woman written by a man (derogatory). Wren was so far in the background I forgot she existed so many times. Fillipa could’ve been so much more useful but since she wasn’t in a relationship with any of the guys in the group I guess she didn’t have much to do /sarcasm.
And don’t get me started on Oliver and James. Jesus Christ. Actually, do get me started! Because the hype I had for them dwindled more and more as Act V progressed.
Listen. I knew from the start that Oliver had a crush on James. I know my fucking subtext. I know an oblivious queer when I see it. And also I was running under the assumption that they were all queer so I thought he was just an oblivious little gay who’d figure it out eventually and well, yeah he did. I have my gaydar and I wasn’t gonna let myself be queerbaited.
But what happened after that was just utterly ridiculous. Genuinely, stupidly, insanely bullshit.
I mean, it was predictable that James would be the one to kill Richard. That part works well with Shakespearean narrative. I even said it earlier. What did they expect to happen? With the way things were going, it was clear that Richard would go too far once again and would pay the price for it. And James being the #1 victim would be the one to do it. That part, albeit a bit disappointed since I would’ve liked a bit of a twist, was set in stone.
But the things Oliver did in response to learning that information was just so stupid? Why would you take the fall for it? Why? So James wouldn’t get hurt? Cause you loved him so so much? Are you fucking stupid? I expect this ridiculousness from Romeo and Juliet being teenagers and all but you’re a whole ass 22 year old man ruining the next decade of your life because you can’t think with your brain? Do you think no one else in the group would be traumatized and in pain for that decade as well?
If they had all been honest from the very start (with Richard’s escalating aggression, with the events at the lake) I’m pretty sure James would’ve reasonably been able to defend himself as self-defense (which, as we all fucking read, was the truth). But they were so scared of seeming suspicious that they omitted every piece of information that would’ve supported their innocence.
Like yeah it checks out in the “of course it had to happen this way” idea where they act stupid trying to prevent one thing which leads to another bad thing. But uggghhh it was infuriating more than it was sad. I ask anyone reading this to namedrop Shakespeare plays where this sort of thing happens at this shallow level so I know to avoid it.
It just felt so so ridiculous. And this was the last, oh, 50-100 pages of the novel. Richard dies in Act III (omg just like Caesar whooo would’ve thunk it????) No one really tries to figure out what happened to him. James confesses in Act V. What happens in between? What happens before that?
Right from the beginning of the book, you know that group is gonna go up in flames because the introduction to it highly suggests that they don’t really like each other in the first place. Richard was singled out as The Asshole right from the start. So yeah.
After he dies there’s a decent exploration into grief and regret and guilt. I mean, they all let him die. He was alive when they found him and they just waited for him to die instead of trying to help him. And all the other stuff about how it messed up the group dynamic, blah blah yeah it was interesting and sad.
Now to the best part of this book.
When they played Macbeth at the beach, that was the best scene in the entire beach. I could visualize it. I felt like I was fucking there. And now I desperately need to see a college group do a rendition of Macbeth. Desperately. In fact, does anyone have any recommendations for movie adaptations that are really good?
Yeah, the plays in general. Page on page of them just reciting Shakespeare. I loved that. And then when they were enough twats to just speak in Shakespeare lines while bickering. I loved that too. I did take out Othello and Hamlet at the library recently so I might just read those.
What other things?
I expected more of a mystery whodunnit but it wasn’t like that at all. I don’t think the reader is expected to immerse themselves in figuring out the suspects, the twists, all that. It’s more about the relationships. But I didn’t like them enough.
I absolutely loved Alexander until he got more on the drugs. I mean, he kind of gave Cardan vibes.
The teachers at that school sucked, considering they gave the kids the same roles every time. Isn’t part of being a good actor having range? Come on now, no wonder those students ended up fucked up.
There were some distasteful lines that I’m trying to remember. The way some people were described, some offhanded comments I thought were really strange.
I hated the way they wrote about Oliver’s sisters. Again, one dimensional and there was so much judgement towards the sister with the eating disorder.
The final paragraph of the book was a fucking copout and serves no purpose being there except to give the shippers hope.
I forget everything else. Goodnight.