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zzuberzander 's review for:
Dead Eleven
by Jimmy Juliano
This was a three-star rating for the majority of the book, but the ending really brought it down. My overall feeling of this novel is that it was good, not great. The author obviously has the creativity and talent to make a great story, I just don't think this one is it.
Pros
-The overall story is very interesting—a town stuck in 1994 based on a potential demonic threat. Cool, I'm in.
-Great world building. You are implanted into Clifford Island quickly and feel the anxiety/trauma throughout.
Cons
--Writing style. The writing was mostly okay—the opening story of Gloria and Esther was such a great hook, but throughout the story, the author relies on a lot of cliched language (that borders on being super corny) that pulled me out a bit. The dialogue also fell apart by the end. I don't know if it was rushed or if it was overedited, but something happened where the dialogue became unnatural toward the end.
--Pacing. This was incredibly overwritten. When I read that this author is a frequent posted on r/nosleep and this book was originally a short story (then a novella), it made complete sense to why this felt very long and drawn out. This didn't deserve 400+ pages; it could've been 250 pages and a much stronger story. There is so much introspection, which I typically love, but it became repetitive and unimportant to the overall story. There were so many times when I was wishing the author would just go go go.
--Character development. The ages of the main character, Willow, and the main teenager, Lily, felt unbelievable. This might be another instance of a man not knowing how to write a woman—thankfully, this author did not rely on sexism, degradation, or the trope of a "weak" woman to push the story forward. But what was missing was the teenager sounding like a teenager—she holds so much knowledge and maturity that I kept having to remind myself that she's supposed to be 17/18. There are definitely moments when this comes out with her attitude or response to things, but mostly, she is the keeper of knowledge here. Willow, who I assume is supposed to be mid-to-late thirties, sounds the same as the teenager. She has moments of clarity and maturity, but then she falls into naivety or has juvenile conversations.
--The ending was such a letdown. There is a moment when it really starts to feel scary, and there are actual stakes, but it quickly dissolves. There is no twist, no shock or surprise when everything is revealed because Lily has basically done all the work for you by this time. When Willow finally makes it to the house, meets The First One, and is talking to Rita through the nailed up front door, Rita spills everything (again, though, we aren't shocked, Lily has it figured it out and communicated it to Willow). Everything makes sense, everything gets wrapped up, and any lingering suspicion or uncertainty is squashed. I, personally, appreciate writing that gives you space for curiosity of the future or why things happened the way they did. This did not do that.
I don't know why I felt so compelled to write this long of a review, but I think it's because this should've been a great novel, but was a victim of its own making. I would probably read another novel by this author because I really do believe in this author's talents and creativity. It just may take a few more stories to get there, and I'm willing to go along for the ride.
Pros
-The overall story is very interesting—a town stuck in 1994 based on a potential demonic threat. Cool, I'm in.
-Great world building. You are implanted into Clifford Island quickly and feel the anxiety/trauma throughout.
Cons
--Writing style. The writing was mostly okay—the opening story of Gloria and Esther was such a great hook, but throughout the story, the author relies on a lot of cliched language (that borders on being super corny) that pulled me out a bit. The dialogue also fell apart by the end. I don't know if it was rushed or if it was overedited, but something happened where the dialogue became unnatural toward the end.
--Pacing. This was incredibly overwritten. When I read that this author is a frequent posted on r/nosleep and this book was originally a short story (then a novella), it made complete sense to why this felt very long and drawn out. This didn't deserve 400+ pages; it could've been 250 pages and a much stronger story. There is so much introspection, which I typically love, but it became repetitive and unimportant to the overall story. There were so many times when I was wishing the author would just go go go.
--Character development. The ages of the main character, Willow, and the main teenager, Lily, felt unbelievable. This might be another instance of a man not knowing how to write a woman—thankfully, this author did not rely on sexism, degradation, or the trope of a "weak" woman to push the story forward. But what was missing was the teenager sounding like a teenager—she holds so much knowledge and maturity that I kept having to remind myself that she's supposed to be 17/18. There are definitely moments when this comes out with her attitude or response to things, but mostly, she is the keeper of knowledge here. Willow, who I assume is supposed to be mid-to-late thirties, sounds the same as the teenager. She has moments of clarity and maturity, but then she falls into naivety or has juvenile conversations.
--The ending was such a letdown. There is a moment when it really starts to feel scary, and there are actual stakes, but it quickly dissolves. There is no twist, no shock or surprise when everything is revealed because Lily has basically done all the work for you by this time. When Willow finally makes it to the house, meets The First One, and is talking to Rita through the nailed up front door, Rita spills everything (again, though, we aren't shocked, Lily has it figured it out and communicated it to Willow). Everything makes sense, everything gets wrapped up, and any lingering suspicion or uncertainty is squashed. I, personally, appreciate writing that gives you space for curiosity of the future or why things happened the way they did. This did not do that.
I don't know why I felt so compelled to write this long of a review, but I think it's because this should've been a great novel, but was a victim of its own making. I would probably read another novel by this author because I really do believe in this author's talents and creativity. It just may take a few more stories to get there, and I'm willing to go along for the ride.