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jester_reviews 's review for:
7th Circle
by Tate James
/puts book in my mouth and thrashes around like a dog/ (yes, I did this. actually. that's how bad it was)
I knew that for mine, and my GF's first buddy read as a couple, I wanted it to be awful. And boy, did I get it!!! Worst book of 2024 so far. Aspiring authors out there, you have hope. If this steaming pile of hot garbage can get indie-published and picked up, you can do it, too. And of course, after researching Tate James and seeing that she puts out these schlocky books like no tomorrow, it's not a shock that 7th Circle ended up like this.
The prose, for lack of better words, is genuinely ass. Like, this is what passes for good these days??? Clearly, the editor grew legs and walked off because I've read first drafts better than this. The amount of James-isms had me screaming into the book every time they popped up. "Chuckled/snorted/etc. a laugh" "Crossing my arms under my breasts" "JUST rolling eyes and [insert other action here]". Someone needs to put this woman in a creative writing course because even freshmen don't make these mistakes. I don't know what the word "said" did to James, but it's BARELY in the book, leading the characters to growl, snarl, chuckle, reply, and tell all of their dialogue. My girlfriend kept a tally, and they found it was only used 37 times in the entire 279-page novel. That's diabolical. In a book full of dialogue!!!
And, of course, how can I forget about the telling? James treats the reader like idiots, spelling out blatantly obvious things like how characters feel CONSTANTLY. What is it with adult authors nowadays??? This isn't cocomelon for adults!!! Come on!
This is not a book where a ton of things happen. Plot? Forget it. You're getting crumbs and that's it. For so long, I wondered if there was a prequel I missed because it sounded SO much more interesting than what we got (Hades' takeover of the Timberwolves). Whenever I didn't feel rage, I just felt...bored. None of the characters were intriguing in any sort of way. So, let's talk about them.
Hades/Hayden/Dare/whatever her name is has to be one of the worst main characters I've had the displeasure of reading about. Her whole thing is supposed to be that she's a stone-cold bitch who dresses sexy and is a ruthless killer. And yet, throughout the entire book, she's belittled by her love interests (them constantly being bigger/manhandling her, HER INTRO SCENE IS HER GETTING REJECTED) and barely does anything actually badass. She kills her first dude almost 100 pages into the book. We're constantly told that she's a badass, that she "usually" would never do what she actually does in the book, which creates a weird sort of cognitive dissonance. Who is Hades? The character we're constantly told she is, or the one we see on screen? I could believe this more if we had established who she was before getting tossed around by her boytoys. But nope. She's also a complete and utter douche to her sister
Also, we're gonna talk about how Hades is just. An awful mob boss and business owner. Because, holy shit, she SUCKS. First of all, she's a multi-billionaire at 23 after taking the business over at...18??? Hello??? Most normal mob bosses are going to be within the hundred million dollar range, not BILLION. You're telling me this NOBODY who's supposed to be hiding out has more wealth than Al Capone at his height. And the kicker, most mob bosses/professional criminals who WERE that rich dealt with prostitution (which she doesn't do; she makes a point to say she despises pimps) and hard drugs (another thing she tries to stay away from, if her strong reaction to PCP is anything). Fat Tony Salerno, who made his wealth over DECADES and dealt with loans and casinos, was only worth a "measly" 600 million. Not to mention the fact that she fucks one of her barely legal employees and keeps him on. And this is for some of her "legitimate" businesses! If that doesn't shut her ass down, the fact that one of her(?) bars has a supply room that stores cleaning products and alcohol in the same room will!!! Slightly related, but let's talk about the fact that Zed PUNCHED A COP IN THE HEAD. Why would you do that? Congrats, now you have the cops on your ass due to ASSAULTING AN OFFICER.
(also like. The fact that Hades somehow sniffed out an undercover fbi agent when that's never happened in U.S history. Joe Pistrone didn't die for this (his ass is still alive but hey))
The three "love interests" are just. So blah and boring. Isn't the whole fun of a harem/reverse harem the fact that every love interest is different? Sure, Zed, Cass, and Lucas are all different on paper. And yet they all play the exact same role: rough and domineering men who tower over Hayden even when she's wearing heels (as the narration so blatantly points out over and over again). It becomes...boring. Give me some femdom! Give me a sweet romance (also side note: Hayden, our super smart and confident mafia boss can't tell her childhood friend is pining over her the entire book??? Really?? He was making it obvious). Not to mention the fact that the age gaps are...incredibly weird. Sure, all of the characters are adults, but it's still strange that Hayden is fucking a high schooler and Cass knew her when she was 18 as well when he was 29. Remember, kids, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's moral.
And even then, we have to make our villain cops worse by selling CSEM, and of course, Hayden DESPISES that. Girl. You're dating a guy who's closer in age/maturity to your kid sister. Stones and glass houses.
This is awful, even for a bad tiktok mafia romance book. Well worth the 17$ because I started biting the book while reading it and my girlfriend and I had an awful time. So oppressively heterosexual I had my first ever kiss because I needed to feel something. Tate James, when I catch you.....
P.S.: are we gonna brush over the fact that James referred to a character having a "Hispanic complexion?" I have. No words.
P.P.S: stop with the grumpy cat. You're not gonna make it happen. 2012 wants their dead meme back
I knew that for mine, and my GF's first buddy read as a couple, I wanted it to be awful. And boy, did I get it!!! Worst book of 2024 so far. Aspiring authors out there, you have hope. If this steaming pile of hot garbage can get indie-published and picked up, you can do it, too. And of course, after researching Tate James and seeing that she puts out these schlocky books like no tomorrow, it's not a shock that 7th Circle ended up like this.
The prose, for lack of better words, is genuinely ass. Like, this is what passes for good these days??? Clearly, the editor grew legs and walked off because I've read first drafts better than this. The amount of James-isms had me screaming into the book every time they popped up. "Chuckled/snorted/etc. a laugh" "Crossing my arms under my breasts" "JUST rolling eyes and [insert other action here]". Someone needs to put this woman in a creative writing course because even freshmen don't make these mistakes. I don't know what the word "said" did to James, but it's BARELY in the book, leading the characters to growl, snarl, chuckle, reply, and tell all of their dialogue. My girlfriend kept a tally, and they found it was only used 37 times in the entire 279-page novel. That's diabolical. In a book full of dialogue!!!
And, of course, how can I forget about the telling? James treats the reader like idiots, spelling out blatantly obvious things like how characters feel CONSTANTLY. What is it with adult authors nowadays??? This isn't cocomelon for adults!!! Come on!
This is not a book where a ton of things happen. Plot? Forget it. You're getting crumbs and that's it. For so long, I wondered if there was a prequel I missed because it sounded SO much more interesting than what we got (Hades' takeover of the Timberwolves). Whenever I didn't feel rage, I just felt...bored. None of the characters were intriguing in any sort of way. So, let's talk about them.
Hades/Hayden/Dare/whatever her name is has to be one of the worst main characters I've had the displeasure of reading about. Her whole thing is supposed to be that she's a stone-cold bitch who dresses sexy and is a ruthless killer. And yet, throughout the entire book, she's belittled by her love interests (them constantly being bigger/manhandling her, HER INTRO SCENE IS HER GETTING REJECTED) and barely does anything actually badass. She kills her first dude almost 100 pages into the book. We're constantly told that she's a badass, that she "usually" would never do what she actually does in the book, which creates a weird sort of cognitive dissonance. Who is Hades? The character we're constantly told she is, or the one we see on screen? I could believe this more if we had established who she was before getting tossed around by her boytoys. But nope. She's also a complete and utter douche to her sister
Also, we're gonna talk about how Hades is just. An awful mob boss and business owner. Because, holy shit, she SUCKS. First of all, she's a multi-billionaire at 23 after taking the business over at...18??? Hello??? Most normal mob bosses are going to be within the hundred million dollar range, not BILLION. You're telling me this NOBODY who's supposed to be hiding out has more wealth than Al Capone at his height. And the kicker, most mob bosses/professional criminals who WERE that rich dealt with prostitution (which she doesn't do; she makes a point to say she despises pimps) and hard drugs (another thing she tries to stay away from, if her strong reaction to PCP is anything). Fat Tony Salerno, who made his wealth over DECADES and dealt with loans and casinos, was only worth a "measly" 600 million. Not to mention the fact that she fucks one of her barely legal employees and keeps him on. And this is for some of her "legitimate" businesses! If that doesn't shut her ass down, the fact that one of her(?) bars has a supply room that stores cleaning products and alcohol in the same room will!!! Slightly related, but let's talk about the fact that Zed PUNCHED A COP IN THE HEAD. Why would you do that? Congrats, now you have the cops on your ass due to ASSAULTING AN OFFICER.
(also like. The fact that Hades somehow sniffed out an undercover fbi agent when that's never happened in U.S history. Joe Pistrone didn't die for this (his ass is still alive but hey))
The three "love interests" are just. So blah and boring. Isn't the whole fun of a harem/reverse harem the fact that every love interest is different? Sure, Zed, Cass, and Lucas are all different on paper. And yet they all play the exact same role: rough and domineering men who tower over Hayden even when she's wearing heels (as the narration so blatantly points out over and over again). It becomes...boring. Give me some femdom! Give me a sweet romance (also side note: Hayden, our super smart and confident mafia boss can't tell her childhood friend is pining over her the entire book??? Really?? He was making it obvious). Not to mention the fact that the age gaps are...incredibly weird. Sure, all of the characters are adults, but it's still strange that Hayden is fucking a high schooler and Cass knew her when she was 18 as well when he was 29. Remember, kids, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's moral.
This is awful, even for a bad tiktok mafia romance book. Well worth the 17$ because I started biting the book while reading it and my girlfriend and I had an awful time. So oppressively heterosexual I had my first ever kiss because I needed to feel something. Tate James, when I catch you.....
P.S.: are we gonna brush over the fact that James referred to a character having a "Hispanic complexion?" I have. No words.
P.P.S: stop with the grumpy cat. You're not gonna make it happen. 2012 wants their dead meme back