A review by ramunepocky
Take All of Us by Natalie Leif

adventurous dark emotional hopeful mysterious sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.5

“They couldn’t afford to get in trouble when their whole existence caused trouble to begin with; when they spent so much time trying to compensate for themselves.” 

this review is not spoiler free 

I’d been excited for this book because the concept sounded interesting and the cover was gorgeous, and I wasn’t disappointed; I really enjoyed it!! It was a bit slow to start with, and I didn’t really understand what was going on to begin with, especially where the dead were concerned, because being told that someone was dead but then moving around and muttering to themselves made my brain go “huh????” But it made sense once it was explained and I understood what was actually happening. I thought it was a really interesting take on zombies with their immediate returning and them being identifiable by their eyes, and the slow way in which they’d start to lose their memories and degrade. I thought it was really interesting too that there was an entity in the mountain that they were trying to return to, and the way it would sing to them to come home. It may be because I’ve literally obsessively been playing Rebirth, but it reminded me of the way that the Sephiroth clones are drawn to him without having real control of where they’re going, or what they’re doing. I also think it was interesting that them going to the mountain to degrade repeated the cycle as their oil would leak into the water and corrupt it and turn more people into this world’s zombie equivalent. I loved that there was a happy ending too, and that once the entity was destroyed, all the people that were dead, but still “living” got a chance to live again, though they weren’t entirely untouched by what they’d gone through and their eyes still represented that. I really loved the disability rep too and the running theme of being allowed to take up space and to stop feeling guilty for “being a burden” and being selfish and asking for what YOU want instead of thinking about what is best for everyone else because you’ve already asked for “too much” in being alive. 

I really loved Ian; I thought he was a really sweet protagonist, and it absolutely broke me to see him die in such an awful way when he’d only wanted to tell his best friend how he felt. It was really heart-breaking watching him try and process the fact that he’d died, especially after living with the fact he’d die earlier than the average age as a disabled kid, and him not wanting to be mercy-killed because he still wanted to live. I loved the development of his relationship with Monica and how he goes from a one-sided rivalry with her to becoming friends and having a really sweet and supportive relationship. I also really loved his dynamic with Angel and how he went from being unsure of her and her monotone and blunt way of speaking to becoming really fond of her. I loved that the two of them became so protective of Ian and they wanted him to be able to have his own choices, despite being dead and “losing himself.” It was heartbreaking to see him start to lose those pieces of himself and forget things, and be leaking oil more often, but that that didn’t change the way his friends saw and interacted with him, and they just tried to help fill in the gaps. I loved the way they all supported each other, and the way they’d developed a fast and unbreakable friendship in the most dire of times. I also really loved Ian’s dynamic with his best friend, Eric. I would have liked to have seen their dynamic when Ian was still alive a bit more before he dies as he died really early into the book and I felt like I didn’t get a real sense of how they interacted beforehand, and then we didn’t see much of Eric until around half way through the book, but I loved seeing how they interacted after that, even though it physically broke me to see Eric struggle so much. 

It was really clear from the moment that Eric first saw Ian again how much him being dead affected him and how traumatising it was for him. He blamed himself for what happened, and it breaks me when they finally properly reunite and they have the conversation about it. It also destroyed me to see Eric try to mercy kill Ian to “make things right” and how he couldn’t actually do it when he had the opportunity because it broke him too much. It was so clear how much Eric loved Ian too, even before we got to see them reunite, the essential shrine that Eric had of all the stuff Ian had given him over the years and their pictures together, it was so clear that Eric loved him back and had just suppressed that like he did the rest of his emotions. It hurt me to see Eric in so much pain after everything that had happened, but considering how much he’d blunted his own emotions and stopped himself expressing them due to his tumultuous relationship with his father, it was nice to see him able to actually express his emotions and his pain, even if a huge chunk of that is likely due to the fact he was so traumatised and felt so guilty about Ian’s death that he was unable to suppress his emotions anymore. It destroyed me to think about the fact that he blamed himself so much and was so hurt by it that he’d literally just curled up in the mall to die, and that’s how Zoey had found him, and damn, I’m glad she did. I’m really glad that Eric and Ian got to reunite properly around the 50% mark and that they actually stayed together because it was killing me not knowing what had actually happened and Ian being torn between angry and blaming Eric, and missing him and wanting to talk to him, and I just really wanted to know what had gone through Eric’s head when he’d briefly seen Ian at the store. I really loved Eric too, bless his heart, he was such a sweet character, even though he hadn’t been allowed to be sweet, and it hurt when he confessed his feelings to Ian thinking he wasn’t lucid enough to actually hear him, and him saying all the bad things he felt about himself. And it was so cute too to see him so embarrassed and always blushing when they both knew how they felt about the other and were more affectionate with each other. It made me laugh so much when Ian tentatively calls him his boyfriend and Eric is blushing like “we’re boyfriends” and Zoey is like “YOU WERENT ALREADY???? YOU WOULDN’T STOP TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HIM” Bless. I’m so happy that they got their happy ending together and were allowed to actually be happy. 

My favourite character was absolutely Angel. I loved her so much. I loved the way that she tried to encourage Ian and Monica to take up space and stop apologising for their existences. I resonated a lot with her and her clearly autistic traits, and I think it was sweet the way she showed that she cared about Ian in her own way. I also related to her not caring about the evacuation and choosing to stay behind because she liked and wanted the quiet, and that she hated how loud the world usually was, and how overwhelming it had been. 

I would have liked to have seen Ian reunite with his family at the end, especially after the phone call he’d had with his parents and sister, and how she’d asked him if he was still alive and he’d said no, but I did love that the focus was more on found family instead. 

All in all, I really enjoyed this book and am excited for the physical release (that cover is so pretty), and will absolutely read anything else the author writes. 

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