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A review by maggie_sotos
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
4.0
A fascinating examination of modern couples, monogamy, power dynamics, and sex.
At times the book got tedious and redundant, but I didn't mind too much. It was thorough. I felt like Dr. Perel took us through a methodical, balanced, and measured examination of infidelity, giving the subject far more weight and respect than I ever have.
I admit that, as a person who has been cheated on, I brought a biased perspective to this book. I'm glad I got curious instead of staying furious. This was a very genuinely empathetic and educational narrative; covering everything from the history of monogamy (spoiler alert -- its based on misogyny) to Hilary Clinton- syndrome, this book held my hand walked me through the process. Hearing how other people, cultures, time periods, religions, genders, social groups, and poly couples deal with infidelity was really fascinating and eye-opening. And as a writer, Perel is talented AF. God bless those whose native language is not English, because their metaphors are all the more ear-catching and beautiful.
I also felt lucky because I got the audiobook, which the author read herself. And there was bonus content at the end where I actually got to listen to a counseling session. She is a pro.
At times the book got tedious and redundant, but I didn't mind too much. It was thorough. I felt like Dr. Perel took us through a methodical, balanced, and measured examination of infidelity, giving the subject far more weight and respect than I ever have.
I admit that, as a person who has been cheated on, I brought a biased perspective to this book. I'm glad I got curious instead of staying furious. This was a very genuinely empathetic and educational narrative; covering everything from the history of monogamy (spoiler alert -- its based on misogyny) to Hilary Clinton- syndrome, this book held my hand walked me through the process. Hearing how other people, cultures, time periods, religions, genders, social groups, and poly couples deal with infidelity was really fascinating and eye-opening. And as a writer, Perel is talented AF. God bless those whose native language is not English, because their metaphors are all the more ear-catching and beautiful.
I also felt lucky because I got the audiobook, which the author read herself. And there was bonus content at the end where I actually got to listen to a counseling session. She is a pro.