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A review by lexsleuther
Happy Birthday to Me by Brian Rowe
4.0
Many thanks to Patchwork Press and NetGalley for the ARC!
The premise is great, although it's pretty much a modernised Beauty and the Beast. Sure things are changed up here and there but the basic premise is the same. The first thing he asks for in the beginning is a mirror, and he's given one that apparently resembles a miniature tennis racquet. Y'know, sort of like this one;
Yeah, that's the mirror from Beauty and the Beast. I have never seen anyone in real life use this sort of mirror, and I doubt that any hospital has such an oddly-shaped mirror there. I'm pretty sure that in a modern setting, Cameron would have ended up with a round pocket mirror borrowed from one of the nurses. I know your daddy is a plastic surgeon, Cameron, but hospitals are no places for vanity. They do not come stocked with ornate mirrors.
Speaking of Cameron's dad... He's a jerk. I know people are giving Cameron a lot of flak for being an arrogant character, but come on guys, he's SUPPOSED to be a jerk. The whole book is based upon growth and character development. What the hell were you expecting? His dad, however, has no reason to be such a jackass.
Case in point, when Cameron first begins to realise that he's ageing, he gets quite a bit of stomach flab. This is understandably freaking the poor guy out, but what does his daddy suggest? He interrogates him about his diet and then forces his 17 year old son to get liposuction. You'd think this is a temporary insanity, but when his kid really begins to age he also tries to force him to get a facelift. He goes on about how he wants his son to be perfect and even screams at him for eating a single slice of chocolate cake because sugar apparently destroys your body's physical perfection or whatever. The author clearly intends to make the father do this, since he has a major 180° turnaround later in the book, but that doesn't justify him being such a jerk. I was going to go on about how that's totally unrealistic, but really he's the kind of jackass parent who yells at his child for not living up to his convoluted expectations because he sees his child as another of his own achievements. What's the bet that his reaction would have been equally over-dramatic and condescending if Cameron had developed an eating disorder? I bet he'd probably have yelled at his son for making him guilty. Heaven knows he slapped his kid in the face for developing a disorder that could kill him in a few weeks.
Urgh. For every kid out there that has a parent like this, words cannot express how much pity I feel for you. It sure as hell made me sympathise with Cameron.
That scene with Cameron's mom? Yeah, freaked me out. The one with the librarian? That freaked me out too. I don't know if that was intentional but ICK.
His mom and sister are pretty nice, if not bland, and his girlfriend is a (insert an expletive of your choice here). Wesley (one letter off being the prettiest boy alive) is a fantastic friend and he does something at one point that I can't talk about because SPOILERS but it's really very sweet. I wish I had the courage to support my friends the way he does. Cameron is lucky to have a friend like him.
So, about that Cameron, eh? I liked him. Sure he's a jerk, but he learns to appreciate who he is. That's not why I like him though. I like him because his punishment doesn't fit his crime, and not once does he sit around moaning about it. Okay, sure, he acted like a jerk, but why should he die for it? He's a teenager! Not just any teenager either, but a top-notch basketballer who's extremely good-looking and dating the most popular girl in the year. Of course he's cocky! Seriously? Pro-tip for the villain in this story;
Voldemort out, b*****s.
Despite the fact that he's pretty much dying for being himself, Cameron chooses to spend what's left of his life making the most of the time he has left and showing the people around him just how much he appreciates them. Now that's maturity. How can you not like a guy who's inherently good but occasionally prone to a few weaknesses? It's why we're human to begin with, and I really thought that Cameron was pretty mature in dealing with the cards he was dealt considering he was an entitled jerkbag to begin with. I liked him, and I rooted for him, and I sympathised with him. That's good enough for me.
Some things aren't explained enough (i.e. Liesel's powers), but since there are sequels I'm assuming that will be tackled in those books. The main problem, Cameron's ageing, is explained to the supporting characters as a unique type of Progeria (it's a disease that his father hasn't even heard of despite having gone through Med school which isn't very reassuring for his patients). It's well-explained and is a very believable explanation. Bravo to the writer for actually giving a method for how such an odd illness could be explained to other people.
There are a few grammatical issues, but a lot less than expected considering it's self-published. This was a particular gem;
"Liesel put her heads against my chest and started crying." Dude, is she a hydra?
There was nothing that made it difficult to read, though. It's written very simply (hence why I got through all of it in one sitting) but it's coherent enough, and the author is perfectly capable of writing dialogue that not only sounds like something a real person would say but also sounds distinguishable from character to character. No small feat.
I definitely do recommend this if you're looking for a quick read, but don't expect it to shake your world off its axis. It's fun, light and easy to get through, kind of like a well-made lemon meringue pie.
So why not? Just don't use any candles.
The premise is great, although it's pretty much a modernised Beauty and the Beast. Sure things are changed up here and there but the basic premise is the same. The first thing he asks for in the beginning is a mirror, and he's given one that apparently resembles a miniature tennis racquet. Y'know, sort of like this one;
Yeah, that's the mirror from Beauty and the Beast. I have never seen anyone in real life use this sort of mirror, and I doubt that any hospital has such an oddly-shaped mirror there. I'm pretty sure that in a modern setting, Cameron would have ended up with a round pocket mirror borrowed from one of the nurses. I know your daddy is a plastic surgeon, Cameron, but hospitals are no places for vanity. They do not come stocked with ornate mirrors.
Speaking of Cameron's dad... He's a jerk. I know people are giving Cameron a lot of flak for being an arrogant character, but come on guys, he's SUPPOSED to be a jerk. The whole book is based upon growth and character development. What the hell were you expecting? His dad, however, has no reason to be such a jackass.
Case in point, when Cameron first begins to realise that he's ageing, he gets quite a bit of stomach flab. This is understandably freaking the poor guy out, but what does his daddy suggest? He interrogates him about his diet and then forces his 17 year old son to get liposuction. You'd think this is a temporary insanity, but when his kid really begins to age he also tries to force him to get a facelift. He goes on about how he wants his son to be perfect and even screams at him for eating a single slice of chocolate cake because sugar apparently destroys your body's physical perfection or whatever. The author clearly intends to make the father do this, since he has a major 180° turnaround later in the book, but that doesn't justify him being such a jerk. I was going to go on about how that's totally unrealistic, but really he's the kind of jackass parent who yells at his child for not living up to his convoluted expectations because he sees his child as another of his own achievements. What's the bet that his reaction would have been equally over-dramatic and condescending if Cameron had developed an eating disorder? I bet he'd probably have yelled at his son for making him guilty. Heaven knows he slapped his kid in the face for developing a disorder that could kill him in a few weeks.
Urgh. For every kid out there that has a parent like this, words cannot express how much pity I feel for you. It sure as hell made me sympathise with Cameron.
That scene with Cameron's mom? Yeah, freaked me out. The one with the librarian? That freaked me out too. I don't know if that was intentional but ICK.
His mom and sister are pretty nice, if not bland, and his girlfriend is a (insert an expletive of your choice here). Wesley (one letter off being the prettiest boy alive) is a fantastic friend and he does something at one point that I can't talk about because SPOILERS but it's really very sweet. I wish I had the courage to support my friends the way he does. Cameron is lucky to have a friend like him.
So, about that Cameron, eh? I liked him. Sure he's a jerk, but he learns to appreciate who he is. That's not why I like him though. I like him because his punishment doesn't fit his crime, and not once does he sit around moaning about it. Okay, sure, he acted like a jerk, but why should he die for it? He's a teenager! Not just any teenager either, but a top-notch basketballer who's extremely good-looking and dating the most popular girl in the year. Of course he's cocky! Seriously? Pro-tip for the villain in this story;
Voldemort out, b*****s.
Despite the fact that he's pretty much dying for being himself, Cameron chooses to spend what's left of his life making the most of the time he has left and showing the people around him just how much he appreciates them. Now that's maturity. How can you not like a guy who's inherently good but occasionally prone to a few weaknesses? It's why we're human to begin with, and I really thought that Cameron was pretty mature in dealing with the cards he was dealt considering he was an entitled jerkbag to begin with. I liked him, and I rooted for him, and I sympathised with him. That's good enough for me.
Some things aren't explained enough (i.e. Liesel's powers), but since there are sequels I'm assuming that will be tackled in those books. The main problem, Cameron's ageing, is explained to the supporting characters as a unique type of Progeria (it's a disease that his father hasn't even heard of despite having gone through Med school which isn't very reassuring for his patients). It's well-explained and is a very believable explanation. Bravo to the writer for actually giving a method for how such an odd illness could be explained to other people.
There are a few grammatical issues, but a lot less than expected considering it's self-published. This was a particular gem;
"Liesel put her heads against my chest and started crying." Dude, is she a hydra?
There was nothing that made it difficult to read, though. It's written very simply (hence why I got through all of it in one sitting) but it's coherent enough, and the author is perfectly capable of writing dialogue that not only sounds like something a real person would say but also sounds distinguishable from character to character. No small feat.
I definitely do recommend this if you're looking for a quick read, but don't expect it to shake your world off its axis. It's fun, light and easy to get through, kind of like a well-made lemon meringue pie.
So why not? Just don't use any candles.