A review by terzza
First Comes Love by Tom Rasmussen

5.0

It is a CRIME that more people have not read this book. I hate when reviews use the word “refreshing” but it’s so perfect to describe this exploration of marriage. I won’t lie, my knowledge and interest on the topic of marriage starts and ends with occasionally watching Don’t Tell The Bride whilst hungover, but First Comes Love echoes the conversations and conflicts that I know myself and many people have surrounding marriage and weddings, and how they stand up in our modern world. First Comes Love touches on soooo many different topics and from so many different angles. It somehow manages to be extremely personal and vastly empathetic, from honest and intimate moments of his own life and conflicting thoughts on marriage, to interviews from people of all walks of life. As a queer, non-binary, working class person from the north who also can’t make their mind up about marriage, I was moved by the relatability and honesty, Rasmussen brings a point of view that I saw a lot of myself in, and rarely see portrayed. This book will teach you about the history of marriage in the UK, queer marriage, queer identity, the environmental impact of the wedding industry, marriage in relation to class, wealth and status, polyamory, self marriage, and how religion and the state play a massive role. Overall just incredibly interesting and unexpectedly addictive.