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A review by shireybear09
Awkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome by Ty Tashiro
4.0
Ok Ty. I feel you. This is a very satisfying book to read, makes me feel seen and justified. I'm that awkward person who KNOWS I'm an awkward person on the inside but for some reason has to convince people about my awkwardness because they don't think I'm for some reason. Perhaps I'm compensating too hard socially or... have I mastered the facade of social ease?! Nah, I'm on the spectrum and lucky to have very kind and understanding friends. As I tried to explain to my friends, I'm an introvert with the appearance of an extrovert, who, both fortunately and unfortunately, attracts other extroverts. This is a blessing because I enjoy the company of extroverts and love their energy, but a curse because the level of anxiety from my inept social muscle and impostor syndrome I feel when I'm around extroverts is crippling for inner awkward me.
I love the section on "the rage to master". Thank you Ty for naming the monster (or angel, depending how you look at it), now I can be at peace with my rage and use it for good, instead of being consume by it and feeling restless and irate by interruptions during my rage sesh. Now, "the rage to master" and I can be friends.
Another thing that really resonate with me is "show your work". Funny, I've been told this by many a mentors... I skip right to the result because the process already happened in my head. But to be social and share my thoughts to connect with people, I need to take them on the ride together, to show my work so they understand how the result is derived. It seems inefficient, back tracking, and ughhh-whyyy to me, but once I started doing that, I tend to get better responses in my relationships.
One thing that made me giggle, (I mean... introspective?) is the part about awkward people's limited ability to empathize. One of the strength assessment we did at work returns the result that one of my top strength is empathy. Which then makes me think, if I can empathize, but I'm still awkward, does that makes me just... rude? Well, I certainly hope not.
Also, I totally relate to what Ty said about "awkward people have many interesting things to say, but it's like they are a book missing the preface and the first chapter". This still happens for me, I admire people who has great conversation flow and just knows where to chime in, what's the appropriate moment to start talking after another person, and how to gracefully lead to the next topic. I usually take the conversation to a strange place where it's hard to flow on from where I left off, or try to hold in what I want to say to not explode my awkwardness on people but ended up with major thought constipation for all points not shared...
Anyway, all in all, super helpful book. Will definitely reference and review from time to time.
I love the section on "the rage to master". Thank you Ty for naming the monster (or angel, depending how you look at it), now I can be at peace with my rage and use it for good, instead of being consume by it and feeling restless and irate by interruptions during my rage sesh. Now, "the rage to master" and I can be friends.
Another thing that really resonate with me is "show your work". Funny, I've been told this by many a mentors... I skip right to the result because the process already happened in my head. But to be social and share my thoughts to connect with people, I need to take them on the ride together, to show my work so they understand how the result is derived. It seems inefficient, back tracking, and ughhh-whyyy to me, but once I started doing that, I tend to get better responses in my relationships.
One thing that made me giggle, (I mean... introspective?) is the part about awkward people's limited ability to empathize. One of the strength assessment we did at work returns the result that one of my top strength is empathy. Which then makes me think, if I can empathize, but I'm still awkward, does that makes me just... rude? Well, I certainly hope not.
Also, I totally relate to what Ty said about "awkward people have many interesting things to say, but it's like they are a book missing the preface and the first chapter". This still happens for me, I admire people who has great conversation flow and just knows where to chime in, what's the appropriate moment to start talking after another person, and how to gracefully lead to the next topic. I usually take the conversation to a strange place where it's hard to flow on from where I left off, or try to hold in what I want to say to not explode my awkwardness on people but ended up with major thought constipation for all points not shared...
Anyway, all in all, super helpful book. Will definitely reference and review from time to time.