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A review by pmortia
Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self by Alex Tizon
2.0
I wish I could hear about an Asian man's experience that doesn't claim Asian women "have it easier" because they're objects of sexual desire of white men. Alex Tizon has an entire chapter dedicated to how he feels this way. It's baffling because in the chapter right before he talks the forces that oppress and subjugate Asian women as sexual objects in both Asian and Western culture. He describes experiences from women who are harassed, a woman who goes from being a "delicate lotus" to a "dragon woman" solely because she is capable at her job, and even a friend who doesn't fit the mold of being a delicate, tiny Asian and is ignored to the point where she feels invisible. Yet he can't connect these dots to the next chapter. He describes being unsure if the women who expressed romantic interest in him were only doing so because he was Asian after writing whole paragraphs about the "yellow fever" phenomenon that affected Asian women. He talks about the way Asian men are stereotyped in movies, but doesn't acknowledge that Asian women are stereotyped into roles as well (what movie has the Asian woman shooting ping pong balls from her vagina?). Yes, we have Lucy Liu, our token Asian actress, but who else? He talks about how few Asian men reach the top levels of their corporate jobs, how many Asian women do? These stereotypes are two sides of the same coin.
I understand that he's speaking from his perspective. As an Asian man living in the US, growing up when he did he experienced a level of blatant racism that I will not in the present. I am disappointed that he is unable to extend his experiences and understanding to Asian women as well. The same racism that paints Asian men as feminine and undesirable sexually paints Asian women as hypersexual and submissive. This affects the way we move through life as well, in our jobs and in public. And being objects of sexual desire more often than not makes it more difficult, not easier. Tizon describes grappling with internalized racism without extending that understanding to the Asian women who shamed him and refused to date him. That does not excuse their actions, they are practicing prejudice and racism. Tizon's writing however, expressed an entitlement that rubbed me the wrong way. Especially in his closing line "I know nothing hurts more than being rejected by someone who should love you." SHOULD love you.
I understand that he's speaking from his perspective. As an Asian man living in the US, growing up when he did he experienced a level of blatant racism that I will not in the present. I am disappointed that he is unable to extend his experiences and understanding to Asian women as well. The same racism that paints Asian men as feminine and undesirable sexually paints Asian women as hypersexual and submissive. This affects the way we move through life as well, in our jobs and in public. And being objects of sexual desire more often than not makes it more difficult, not easier. Tizon describes grappling with internalized racism without extending that understanding to the Asian women who shamed him and refused to date him. That does not excuse their actions, they are practicing prejudice and racism. Tizon's writing however, expressed an entitlement that rubbed me the wrong way. Especially in his closing line "I know nothing hurts more than being rejected by someone who should love you." SHOULD love you.