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A review by museoffire
The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr
3.0
Considering my "feelings" about [b:Surrender, New York|28952751|Surrender, New York|Caleb Carr|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1458203000s/28952751.jpg|49177799] I'm sure many of you figured Caleb Carr and I weren't on speaking terms. Alas, I reserved this book for my libraries mystery book club before that dark day when I was seized with an urge to hurl that giant cheetah themed doorstop into a wood chipper (would that I had acted on that urge).
Also in my defense historical fiction is Carr's comfort zone and I figured at the very least I'd get some pretty great descriptions of Victorian era England. If there's one thing Carr does well (besides providing detailed instructions for the care and raising of cheetahs) its set a scene and paint a picture.
Also working in his favor this time is that this book was actually sanctioned by the Conan Doyle estate something, I'm under the impression, that is not especially easy to do.
So all things being equal this should have been a top drawer reading experience.
Really gross and violent murders that resulted in inexplicable injuries to the bodies that bear a very striking resemblance to the gastly murder of THE ITALIAN SECRETARY of Mary Queen of Scott's hundreds of years ago? Check.
Possible government conspiracy/assassination attempts putting Queen Victoria in imminent danger? Check
Greatest detective team EVER? Check.
Awesome time period? Check.
Spooking setting in a haunted Scottish castle where maybe, possibly, there's a chance of REAL GHOSTS? Check
Plenty of suspects including but not limited to; one eyed surly servants, rakish blacksmith's who
like to build medieval catapults when they're not deflowering innocent flame haired chamber maids, horribly evil nobility hiding behind their ancient pedigrees? Secret Scottish revolutionaries hiding in plain site? Check
All of those things combine to make a pretty great mystery written with a very distinct and well executed Sherlock Holmes "style."
Unfortunately they make up only about fifty percent of the book. The other fifty percent of what is (thanks be to the literature gods) a mercifully short read at 352 pages is given over to our narrator Dr. Watson going on and on and on and on and on and on about bloody everything. They have to take a train to Scotland? Watson spends twenty some pages talking about the train, the people on the train, what the train looks like, how Holmes can be annoying when they're on trains. They get to the Scottish Castle? Watson likes the castle and tells you why for about five years. They encounter a possibly supernatural something in the abandoned tower in the castle? Watson's interior monologue muses on the supernatural like fucking Hamlet trying to decide if he should follow his father's ghosts advice (and we all know how much Hamlet liked to think things over).
Any time other characters get involved the action immediately kicks into high gear and its as riveting as [b:The Hound of the Baskervilles|8921|The Hound of the Baskervilles|Arthur Conan Doyle|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1355929358s/8921.jpg|3311984]. But get Watson by himself for any length of time and you're left with a terrific cure for insomnia.
If there's one thing Caleb Carr likes its the sound of his own voice and that is never clearer than when he projects himself through the normally very interesting and often smarter (in certain areas) half of the infamous Baker Street duo.
My other issues, which I will be forced to be pretty vague about as its basically the key to the entire mystery, has to do with just how off track everyone is with what is really going on. This wouldn't be such an issue if the case wasn't being brought to Sherlock by his brother Mycroft who, devoted fans of the original books will recall, has used his own enormous brain to basically run England's empire from behind the throne for years (much is made over the fact that he's allowed to sit down in Queen Victoria's presence). Hell Mycroft has every branch of the England's military elite with him including people who are in charge of the Queen's security and investigating things like spies and attempts on her life and they are ALL so far off base with what's happening its almost comical.
I'm not sure if that's intentional but its all worked out so quickly with some really simple recon and observation. Like Watson (given enough time) could have done it on his own easy. I suspect Carr is in fact going for a whole Mycroft was just making things too complicated thing but as the story opens we're banged over the head with this being their most difficult, secret, and world shaking case ever!!!!! and it just totally isn't.
So neither great nor especially bad...just eh.
But I can assure you there are NO goddamn cheetahs.
Also in my defense historical fiction is Carr's comfort zone and I figured at the very least I'd get some pretty great descriptions of Victorian era England. If there's one thing Carr does well (besides providing detailed instructions for the care and raising of cheetahs) its set a scene and paint a picture.
Also working in his favor this time is that this book was actually sanctioned by the Conan Doyle estate something, I'm under the impression, that is not especially easy to do.
So all things being equal this should have been a top drawer reading experience.
Really gross and violent murders that resulted in inexplicable injuries to the bodies that bear a very striking resemblance to the gastly murder of THE ITALIAN SECRETARY of Mary Queen of Scott's hundreds of years ago? Check.
Possible government conspiracy/assassination attempts putting Queen Victoria in imminent danger? Check
Greatest detective team EVER? Check.
Awesome time period? Check.
Spooking setting in a haunted Scottish castle where maybe, possibly, there's a chance of REAL GHOSTS? Check
Plenty of suspects including but not limited to; one eyed surly servants, rakish blacksmith's who
like to build medieval catapults when they're not deflowering innocent flame haired chamber maids, horribly evil nobility hiding behind their ancient pedigrees? Secret Scottish revolutionaries hiding in plain site? Check
All of those things combine to make a pretty great mystery written with a very distinct and well executed Sherlock Holmes "style."
Unfortunately they make up only about fifty percent of the book. The other fifty percent of what is (thanks be to the literature gods) a mercifully short read at 352 pages is given over to our narrator Dr. Watson going on and on and on and on and on and on about bloody everything. They have to take a train to Scotland? Watson spends twenty some pages talking about the train, the people on the train, what the train looks like, how Holmes can be annoying when they're on trains. They get to the Scottish Castle? Watson likes the castle and tells you why for about five years. They encounter a possibly supernatural something in the abandoned tower in the castle? Watson's interior monologue muses on the supernatural like fucking Hamlet trying to decide if he should follow his father's ghosts advice (and we all know how much Hamlet liked to think things over).
Any time other characters get involved the action immediately kicks into high gear and its as riveting as [b:The Hound of the Baskervilles|8921|The Hound of the Baskervilles|Arthur Conan Doyle|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1355929358s/8921.jpg|3311984]. But get Watson by himself for any length of time and you're left with a terrific cure for insomnia.
If there's one thing Caleb Carr likes its the sound of his own voice and that is never clearer than when he projects himself through the normally very interesting and often smarter (in certain areas) half of the infamous Baker Street duo.
My other issues, which I will be forced to be pretty vague about as its basically the key to the entire mystery, has to do with just how off track everyone is with what is really going on. This wouldn't be such an issue if the case wasn't being brought to Sherlock by his brother Mycroft who, devoted fans of the original books will recall, has used his own enormous brain to basically run England's empire from behind the throne for years (much is made over the fact that he's allowed to sit down in Queen Victoria's presence). Hell Mycroft has every branch of the England's military elite with him including people who are in charge of the Queen's security and investigating things like spies and attempts on her life and they are ALL so far off base with what's happening its almost comical.
I'm not sure if that's intentional but its all worked out so quickly with some really simple recon and observation. Like Watson (given enough time) could have done it on his own easy. I suspect Carr is in fact going for a whole Mycroft was just making things too complicated thing but as the story opens we're banged over the head with this being their most difficult, secret, and world shaking case ever!!!!! and it just totally isn't.
So neither great nor especially bad...just eh.
But I can assure you there are NO goddamn cheetahs.