lucrezi 's review for:

Pretty Reckless by L.J. Shen

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Pretty Reckless' blurb promised trashy fun but it was a mistake. It wasn't so-bad-it's good. It's just bad.

Pros first: The writing isn't boring. The alternating narrators, especially Daria, have distinctive voices. This was nice: “His eyes are dark green and bottomless like a thickly fogged forest. I want to step inside and run until I'm in the depth of the woods.”

There is a fine line between cringe and comedy.

I especially don’t want to face him after he saw me naked and kissed me and made my nipples hard and then told me he doesn’t want anything to do with me.

I hate her ass, it’s true, but that ain’t gonna stop me from fucking her. It’ll be poetic justice at its finest. She took my sister, so I’ll take her vanity.

I laughed both times. What they have in common is the blunt honesty of these ridiculous thoughts running through the characters' heads. You can imagine real people thinking these things to themselves. The problem, however, is when things happen outside their minds and they continue being ridiculous. That's when it tips that delicate balance and falls into cringe territory.

Penn's grand plan to ruin Daria's life is to make her fall in love with him and break her heart.

I'd respect it if it were paced well, but slow burn? What's that? You want their first interaction in four years to be Penn walking in on Daria naked?

They get sexual super fast, which is fine, but they also start sharing emotional stuff super fast. It doesn't make sense that he tells Daria to vent at him when she storms off after an unnecessary argument with her mother when he says he just wants to hate-fuck her (he says he does this because "she's got a case." Does LJ Shen know how people act when they actually hate people? You don't empathize with them that fast). If you didn't give a shit about her, why are you asking her about her feelings? Why are you sharing information about your mom who OD'd? Why are you cuddling in a bathtub? Why are you trying to cheer up Daria when she's upset? Why are you helping Daria by making her confront her mommy issues through pseudo-talk-therapy?

Then they have sex in the forest so I guess they aren't enemies anymore. We are not even halfway through the book and the premise has already been torn to shreds. (61% in, Daria is already "hopelessly, tragically in love with Penn Scully.") There is no satisfaction. The drama is now about Penn's sister, a championship football game, and other circumstances keeping Penn and Daria apart.

That was my main issue. I had some others though:

Awkward use of real-world slang, internet slang, and pop culture references.

Vicious is Vaughn’s dad and the deadliest mofo in the neighborhood. I crushed on him when I was five. Baron “Vicious” Spencer is still a hottie, so #SorryNotSorry.

“Bumpin’.”

“Amazeballs.”

I want to LOL in her face when I think about the one and only guy I’ve slept with.

The girl starts shooting out the number quickly. I pretend to program them into my phone while playing Fortnite.

This one gets to me because Penn gave no indication before this point that he plays Fortnite. In this scene, he'd been flirting with a cashier to get on Daria's nerves then it's like ooh I'm playing Fortnite. And it's never mentioned again. I can imagine this being a real conversation during the writing of this book: "That's what's popular with kids now, right? Fortnite?"

Too many descriptive dialogue tags and actions during speech to the point of distraction.

“Maybe he gave her chlamydia, and she wants him to pay for the treatment.” Colin, ASH’s linebacker, hiccups, and everyone but Knight erupts in laughter.
“That’s rich from someone whose face looks like genital herpes,” I pipe out.
“Come at me, bro!” Colin bangs his chest with his fist.
“I would, but I don’t hit chicks,” I drawl.

“Whatever.” I flip my hair. “Casserole’s a dud, anyway. Enjoy your carb-fest, losers.” I plaster my fingers into an L-shape on my forehead before retiring upstairs on [sic] a huff.

“Ohhhh,” the Las Juntas crowd, which I’m standing in the middle of, taunts, turning their thumbs down in a boo motion toward Bauer.

Daria and her mommy issues are so annoying lmao. She thinks her mom doesn't love her even though her mom tries and Daria shoots her down and doesn't try to meet her halfway. Then Daria sulks that her mom doesn't make an effort.

I growl. “I’m going to watch The Real Housewives of Dallas until we eat.”
“Or you can stay with me, and we can look at the new Chanel catalog,” Melody suggests, cracking open a bottle of white wine.
“No thanks,” I quip.
“Hey, maybe we could—”
“Nope.” I plaster my most plastic smile, making a show of batting my eyelashes. “Please don’t embarrass us both by trying again. Even if you offer me a shopping spree in Milan, the answer will still be no.”

She bitches about them not celebrating her birthday or getting her gifts but guess what...

“Why are they ignoring your birthday, Skull Eyes? Tell the truth.”
It’s painful to swallow. There’s so much bitterness in my throat. The truth seems oceans away. I see it in the distance, but it’s unreachable. So hard to put into words.
“I asked them to ignore it.” I choke. “I made them promise.”

She creates her own problems, blames other people, and wallows in her angst. I don't think I've hated a main character so much.

I know I rated Clay 1/5 but that doesn't come close to the abomination that is Pretty Reckless. I'd give this 0.5 stars if I could. All I wanted was some trashy fun but this was all trash, no fun.