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A review by dark_reader
Summer of Love by JesperSB
1.0
Since apparently this is still going on, I'm going to try some constructive criticism.
Maybe there is plot worth reading. Maybe there are interesting characters. Maybe there are decent story ideas in there somewhere, but its impossible to tell unless all of these basic, elementary errors are corrected first:
1. You have to write in paragraphs. You can't hit 'enter' after every single sentence, often twice for no discernible reason. Just look at these screenshots; don't even read the words, just look at the shape of the text blocks and the white space. This is an actual book:
This is someone else's no-cost self-published e-book:
This is Al Tefaris 2:
Can you see the difference? Even without reading any words, it's immediately obvious that there is something seriously wrong with the layout of the writing.
2. Dialogue is punctuated with commas, not with colons. This is how your books do it:
3. Sentences end with ONLY ONE punctuation mark: a period OR a question mark OR an exclamation mark. A question does not end with both a period and a question mark. See the corrected example above. This is so easy to fix.
4. The only words that should be capitalized are words that start a new sentence, and proper names. "You" and "your" are never capitalized unless they start a new sentence. "Capitalized" means that the first letter in a word is in upper case or a "big letter".
5. Basic grammar and verb conjugation are NOT OPTIONAL. It is not the reader's job to fix this in their head. It is not anyone else's job who is not being paid for it. It is the author's job to publish work that is grammatically correct (barring the occasional innocent error). There are SO MANY ways you could do this, many of them free:
a) learn English grammar. This can be achieved through adult education courses in person or online; books such as [b:Basic English Grammar For Dummies|26150204|Basic English Grammar For Dummies|Geraldine Woods|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1440330451l/26150204._SX50_.jpg|46106223] or grade-school textbooks. This is not a dig on you, but the grammar as written needs grade-school level help.
b) use any of the many available grammar checkers such as Grammarly, ProWritingAid, and others. Just click "accept all recommended changes" and the result will be better than your books are currently.
c) hire a proofreader or any kind of correction help. I guarantee that this will cost more than the usual rate for such services, because it will take much more work to fix than the average piece of English writing.
d) write in your native Danish and have it translated into English. At no cost, even using Google Translate would probably yield better results. If your written Danish grammar is just as bad, then see option 'a)' above. You could also just write and publish in Danish.
e) talk to a librarian in a public library for other resources to help you with this.
If you make significant improvements in all of the above, only then can ANYONE consider evaluating your books as anything other than flaming word dumpsters, regardless of how much effort you think you're putting into them. Your bio states that you write about a book per month. In truth, what you are writing are merely first drafts. To reach the status of 'book' in most people's minds, they need the following additional steps, or some approximation of this process:
-sitting in a drawer for a couple of months.
-take them out, re-read and then write a second draft, then maybe a third draft.
-have this reviewed by beta readers
-write another draft incorporating feedback
-get developmental editing
-write another draft incorporating feedback
-get copy editing, possibly line editing too
-get proofreading
-do internal layout work
-consider a professional book cover
-only after all of this should you consider clicking 'publish' on Amazon.
Books that readers enjoy don't happen by accident. They are the result of conscientious hard work and multiple revisions. If you want to write "just for fun" with no additional effort, you can simply keep it saved on your computer or get a copy printed just for yourself.
Maybe there is plot worth reading. Maybe there are interesting characters. Maybe there are decent story ideas in there somewhere, but its impossible to tell unless all of these basic, elementary errors are corrected first:
1. You have to write in paragraphs. You can't hit 'enter' after every single sentence, often twice for no discernible reason. Just look at these screenshots; don't even read the words, just look at the shape of the text blocks and the white space. This is an actual book:
This is someone else's no-cost self-published e-book:
This is Al Tefaris 2:
Can you see the difference? Even without reading any words, it's immediately obvious that there is something seriously wrong with the layout of the writing.
2. Dialogue is punctuated with commas, not with colons. This is how your books do it:
Isabella says: "Benny.?"This is how it should be:
Isabella says, "Benny?"Simply replace all those colons with commas, and you've made a significant improvement.
3. Sentences end with ONLY ONE punctuation mark: a period OR a question mark OR an exclamation mark. A question does not end with both a period and a question mark. See the corrected example above. This is so easy to fix.
4. The only words that should be capitalized are words that start a new sentence, and proper names. "You" and "your" are never capitalized unless they start a new sentence. "Capitalized" means that the first letter in a word is in upper case or a "big letter".
5. Basic grammar and verb conjugation are NOT OPTIONAL. It is not the reader's job to fix this in their head. It is not anyone else's job who is not being paid for it. It is the author's job to publish work that is grammatically correct (barring the occasional innocent error). There are SO MANY ways you could do this, many of them free:
a) learn English grammar. This can be achieved through adult education courses in person or online; books such as [b:Basic English Grammar For Dummies|26150204|Basic English Grammar For Dummies|Geraldine Woods|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1440330451l/26150204._SX50_.jpg|46106223] or grade-school textbooks. This is not a dig on you, but the grammar as written needs grade-school level help.
b) use any of the many available grammar checkers such as Grammarly, ProWritingAid, and others. Just click "accept all recommended changes" and the result will be better than your books are currently.
c) hire a proofreader or any kind of correction help. I guarantee that this will cost more than the usual rate for such services, because it will take much more work to fix than the average piece of English writing.
d) write in your native Danish and have it translated into English. At no cost, even using Google Translate would probably yield better results. If your written Danish grammar is just as bad, then see option 'a)' above. You could also just write and publish in Danish.
e) talk to a librarian in a public library for other resources to help you with this.
If you make significant improvements in all of the above, only then can ANYONE consider evaluating your books as anything other than flaming word dumpsters, regardless of how much effort you think you're putting into them. Your bio states that you write about a book per month. In truth, what you are writing are merely first drafts. To reach the status of 'book' in most people's minds, they need the following additional steps, or some approximation of this process:
-sitting in a drawer for a couple of months.
-take them out, re-read and then write a second draft, then maybe a third draft.
-have this reviewed by beta readers
-write another draft incorporating feedback
-get developmental editing
-write another draft incorporating feedback
-get copy editing, possibly line editing too
-get proofreading
-do internal layout work
-consider a professional book cover
-only after all of this should you consider clicking 'publish' on Amazon.
Books that readers enjoy don't happen by accident. They are the result of conscientious hard work and multiple revisions. If you want to write "just for fun" with no additional effort, you can simply keep it saved on your computer or get a copy printed just for yourself.