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A review by okiecozyreader
Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan
emotional
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
5.0
I loved this book so much!
It begins with a divorce between two people who deeply love each other. The wife had severe depression (you learn why in the book but check triggers if you have them). She went to therapy and begins to find her new life. They each quickly realize they miss each other and the life they shared (the reader can tell this early on).
So beautiful. I cried tears (which only happens once or twice a year). Such a beautiful story of healing, therapy, depression, love, loss, relationships. Looking forward to book 2 and other books by Kennedy Ryan!
I loved hearing her talk about the book with the Bad Bitches in Love bookclub. As she mentions in the author’s note:
“It’s the first book I ever wrote, drafted nearly 15 years ago, before I’d even published anything.”
She talked about how her previous version of this book had “All of the hurt but non of the healing.” She now has the wisdom of therapy and adding layers of communication to her characters. I think it’s one of the best examples of therapy (esp therapy with men) that I’ve read.
Chapter 2
“If therapy has taught me anything, it’s that you run from your pain in a circle. You end up exhausted, but never really gaining ground.”
“Whatever remains is as cold and stiff as the look he slants over his shoulder at me before the door closes behind him.”
Chapter 3
“People talk about the stages of grief, but there is a stage of depression—at least for me—where you go from feeling pain so acutely you can’t bear it, to feeling nothing at all.”
Chapter 4
“Sometimes I wish I didn’t know Yasmen so well. We both have these tells, secret passageways to our thoughts that took us years to find.”
“How do people do this? When the rug is pulled out from under the life they thought they would have forever, how do they pretend it’s not seismic?”
Chapter 7
“Grief is a grind. It is the work of breathing and waking and rising and moving through a world that feels emptier. A gaping hole has been torn into your existence, and everyone around you just walks right past it like it’s not even there.”
Chapter 11
“Therapy can be intimidating, and folks aren’t always ready when we want them to be. They’re ready when they’re ready. Josiah thinks he’s going because of Kassim, but maybe it’s that deep down he’s just finally ready.”
Chapter 22
“I’m grateful for friends who feel like sisters. And I think I’m most grateful for time, which doesn’t always heal all wounds, but teaches us how to be happy again even with our scars.”
Chapter 27
“This is not me saying you were wrong and it was all your fault. It’s me understanding how completely incompatible we were in our grief.”
Chapter 32
“Depression,” she goes on, “is a liar. If it will tell you no one loves you, that you’re not good enough, that you’re a burden…”
“You have to make peace with that woman, Yasmen, because she is you. She’s not someone you banished with therapy and meds. She is you. You cannot dissociate from her. Until you reconcile that, you won’t find true peace. Until you have compassion for her instead of judgment, you cannot fully heal.”
“So when will I forgive myself and be about the business of making the life I deserve, even when I don’t feel I do deserve that life?”
Chapter 43
“Our traumas, the things that injure us in this life, even over time, are not always behind us. Sometimes they linger in the smell of a newborn baby. They surprise us in the taste of a home-cooked meal. They wait in the room at the end of the hall. They are with us. They are present. And there are some days when memories feel more real than those who remain, than the joys of this world.”
“You have to decide if being afraid of losing Yasmen again is worth never having her again.”
“I started measuring how much I loved people in terms of how much it would hurt to lose them.”
It begins with a divorce between two people who deeply love each other. The wife had severe depression (you learn why in the book but check triggers if you have them). She went to therapy and begins to find her new life. They each quickly realize they miss each other and the life they shared (the reader can tell this early on).
So beautiful. I cried tears (which only happens once or twice a year). Such a beautiful story of healing, therapy, depression, love, loss, relationships. Looking forward to book 2 and other books by Kennedy Ryan!
I loved hearing her talk about the book with the Bad Bitches in Love bookclub. As she mentions in the author’s note:
“It’s the first book I ever wrote, drafted nearly 15 years ago, before I’d even published anything.”
She talked about how her previous version of this book had “All of the hurt but non of the healing.” She now has the wisdom of therapy and adding layers of communication to her characters. I think it’s one of the best examples of therapy (esp therapy with men) that I’ve read.
Chapter 2
“If therapy has taught me anything, it’s that you run from your pain in a circle. You end up exhausted, but never really gaining ground.”
“Whatever remains is as cold and stiff as the look he slants over his shoulder at me before the door closes behind him.”
Chapter 3
“People talk about the stages of grief, but there is a stage of depression—at least for me—where you go from feeling pain so acutely you can’t bear it, to feeling nothing at all.”
Chapter 4
“Sometimes I wish I didn’t know Yasmen so well. We both have these tells, secret passageways to our thoughts that took us years to find.”
“How do people do this? When the rug is pulled out from under the life they thought they would have forever, how do they pretend it’s not seismic?”
Chapter 7
“Grief is a grind. It is the work of breathing and waking and rising and moving through a world that feels emptier. A gaping hole has been torn into your existence, and everyone around you just walks right past it like it’s not even there.”
Chapter 11
“Therapy can be intimidating, and folks aren’t always ready when we want them to be. They’re ready when they’re ready. Josiah thinks he’s going because of Kassim, but maybe it’s that deep down he’s just finally ready.”
Chapter 22
“I’m grateful for friends who feel like sisters. And I think I’m most grateful for time, which doesn’t always heal all wounds, but teaches us how to be happy again even with our scars.”
Chapter 27
“This is not me saying you were wrong and it was all your fault. It’s me understanding how completely incompatible we were in our grief.”
Chapter 32
“Depression,” she goes on, “is a liar. If it will tell you no one loves you, that you’re not good enough, that you’re a burden…”
“You have to make peace with that woman, Yasmen, because she is you. She’s not someone you banished with therapy and meds. She is you. You cannot dissociate from her. Until you reconcile that, you won’t find true peace. Until you have compassion for her instead of judgment, you cannot fully heal.”
“So when will I forgive myself and be about the business of making the life I deserve, even when I don’t feel I do deserve that life?”
Chapter 43
“Our traumas, the things that injure us in this life, even over time, are not always behind us. Sometimes they linger in the smell of a newborn baby. They surprise us in the taste of a home-cooked meal. They wait in the room at the end of the hall. They are with us. They are present. And there are some days when memories feel more real than those who remain, than the joys of this world.”
“You have to decide if being afraid of losing Yasmen again is worth never having her again.”
“I started measuring how much I loved people in terms of how much it would hurt to lose them.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, and Suicidal thoughts