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A review by cari1268
The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu, Mpho Tutu
5.0
After feeling stuck in my forgiveness journey, I turned to a book. The Book of Forgiving was just what I needed. I heard that forgiveness is a choice and I was frustrated by that. I was choosing forgiveness and yet I still felt devastated and furious.
I learned from The Book of Forgiving that while forgiveness is a choice, it's more than that. It's a process. It's a process just like grief is. It's a choice to work towards forgiveness. Sometimes the process is quick but sometimes it's not. And that's okay.
I learned so much and got in a much better place from reading this book and participating in the exercises and meditations. I didn't do all of them (the outdoor ones didn't easily fit into my schedule) but I did do most of them.
My favorite exercise was the first one. I was supposed to carry a small stone for eight hours. I DREADED this exercise and didn't want to do it. I ended up just making myself hold that stone for two hours. Because this exercise was so unpleasant for me, the lesson hit hard. I didn't want to carry around the burden of hate. It was eye-opening to see how the stone sometimes did entertain me and why I might struggle to put it down. Ultimately, I knew that I didn't want to live my life holding onto a stone.
I can't say I've completed my forgiveness journey but I have grown more patient with the process. I've let go of so much of my anger and resentment. The Book of Forgiving taught me that forgiveness is a skill, one that I can cultivate. I want to and I will.
*Some things I want to remember*
The four fold path: 1-Tell the story 2-Name the hurt 3-Grant forgiveness 4-Renew or release the relationship.
"There is nothing that cannot be forgiven. There is no one undeserving of forgiveness."
I learned from The Book of Forgiving that while forgiveness is a choice, it's more than that. It's a process. It's a process just like grief is. It's a choice to work towards forgiveness. Sometimes the process is quick but sometimes it's not. And that's okay.
I learned so much and got in a much better place from reading this book and participating in the exercises and meditations. I didn't do all of them (the outdoor ones didn't easily fit into my schedule) but I did do most of them.
My favorite exercise was the first one. I was supposed to carry a small stone for eight hours. I DREADED this exercise and didn't want to do it. I ended up just making myself hold that stone for two hours. Because this exercise was so unpleasant for me, the lesson hit hard. I didn't want to carry around the burden of hate. It was eye-opening to see how the stone sometimes did entertain me and why I might struggle to put it down. Ultimately, I knew that I didn't want to live my life holding onto a stone.
I can't say I've completed my forgiveness journey but I have grown more patient with the process. I've let go of so much of my anger and resentment. The Book of Forgiving taught me that forgiveness is a skill, one that I can cultivate. I want to and I will.
*Some things I want to remember*
The four fold path: 1-Tell the story 2-Name the hurt 3-Grant forgiveness 4-Renew or release the relationship.
"There is nothing that cannot be forgiven. There is no one undeserving of forgiveness."