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midnightstory 's review for:
The Face on the Milk Carton
by Caroline B. Cooney
this is painfully awkward. like... the writing style is cringey at best and it’s so obvious that the author has no idea how a teen talks because what fifteen year old calls her mother ‘mommy’ and flings herself into their arms every five minutes because she loves her mommy so much? also why did janie and her friends talk as though they live in the 18th century? “oh let us not do that!” “yes, let’s!”
why was there so much fucking giggling, too? like? every single chapter someone is giggling. and there’s nothing funny even going on. jesus christ.
can someone actually tell me the point of reeve please? because the dude makes NO sense. he was irritatable, condescending and just plain needy the entire book. both and he and janie had literally ZERO chemistry yet they were always all over each other??? like ew.
also, reeve being the douchebag he is, kept getting annoyed whenever janie spent her time thinking of the fact that she had been kidnapped instead of him? like... calm down dude. finding out that the people who you thought were your parents actually aren’t is a bit of a huge deal and i’m sorry, but your un-sucked dick is not.
this book is just filled to the brim with irrelevant content. like what was the fucking point of janie and reeve taking the six hour long drive to new jersey just to look at a door if she had no intention of knocking on it? who has that kinda gas money to waste? the dude cleans out people’s garages for pocket money, he sure ain’t funding this cross state road-trip. jesus someone save me.
let’s not even talk about the the ending!!!! it’s a shambles — an honest to god train wreck. there’s too many people talking and too much pointless trash going on.
“are we ordering a pizza, mommy? no? you’re calling my birth parents out of the blue? the ones who think i’m dead? maybe being used as a sex slave these past twelve years? okay!!”
ALSO WHO LET THIS BITCH LIZZIE BE IN CHARGE OF SORTING THIS MESS OUT? SHE’S NOT EVEN AN ACTUAL LAWYER YET?
why haven’t they called the fucking cops?
why is everyone so fucking stupid?
why did i even read this?
why was there so much fucking giggling, too? like? every single chapter someone is giggling. and there’s nothing funny even going on. jesus christ.
can someone actually tell me the point of reeve please? because the dude makes NO sense. he was irritatable, condescending and just plain needy the entire book. both and he and janie had literally ZERO chemistry yet they were always all over each other??? like ew.
also, reeve being the douchebag he is, kept getting annoyed whenever janie spent her time thinking of the fact that she had been kidnapped instead of him? like... calm down dude. finding out that the people who you thought were your parents actually aren’t is a bit of a huge deal and i’m sorry, but your un-sucked dick is not.
this book is just filled to the brim with irrelevant content. like what was the fucking point of janie and reeve taking the six hour long drive to new jersey just to look at a door if she had no intention of knocking on it? who has that kinda gas money to waste? the dude cleans out people’s garages for pocket money, he sure ain’t funding this cross state road-trip. jesus someone save me.
let’s not even talk about the the ending!!!! it’s a shambles — an honest to god train wreck. there’s too many people talking and too much pointless trash going on.
“are we ordering a pizza, mommy? no? you’re calling my birth parents out of the blue? the ones who think i’m dead? maybe being used as a sex slave these past twelve years? okay!!”
ALSO WHO LET THIS BITCH LIZZIE BE IN CHARGE OF SORTING THIS MESS OUT? SHE’S NOT EVEN AN ACTUAL LAWYER YET?
why haven’t they called the fucking cops?
why is everyone so fucking stupid?
why did i even read this?