A review by sophiesticazion
Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo

5.0

Throughout the years of my reading journey with sailing through words, flying along pages, and fighting against time, I thought this is what I love about reading. Right it may be, it's not entirely the truth. I do like the feeling accompanying me while I dove down and break the surface of real world and swam along the waters of the fantasy, but those were not love. It's my illusionary affection and comfort. Reading shadow and bone, siege and storm, and ruin in rising, five days never felt so good and painful. The world leigh bardugo had conjured is something i wanted to be a part of, not just in my head but i want it to feel in my own being. The hunger for the impossible, the need to belong in a world i am fairly aware non-existent. Grishaverse brought me exhilaration, elation, and trepidation. All combined into one book, i would never have to wish for a story of more angst and deliberate sexual tension. I love that kind of feeling. The feeling of torture and pain, in sings in my heart, deeply resonating. The beauty of this world is so profound there's no words enough to describe it, emotions is all that left. I ached for the Darkling, i ached for Alina, i wept on how much tragic their life became, on how their path are meant to meet and diverged, between them a yawning nothingness. Grishaverse has made me an emotional mess, but i love every part of it. Perhaps i love this for the intricate story and storytelling. But i know my love extends farther than that. Reading is my first love, but i'm still not sure if it is my true love. I believe i haven't found that yet, but the longing i feel whenever i think of the Darkling, i think it's close as to the true meaning of ruthlessly undeniable love. He may be an unloving, brutal, and the most cruel being on the universe, but he made me realize what true love is. Love is not about breaking the surface, it is about diving deeper, seeking for the bottomless depths, and having the findles of abyss closed over you, wrapped around you, painful but secure, an emphasis of surety and surrender. I do not know love, but i believe that if love is a sacrifice, then i'll be willing to be a sacrificial goat, surrendered and martyr, just to be in the world i am yearning to be in.