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A review by jsncnrd
The Ghosts We Keep by Mason Deaver
4.0
Grief is so complex. It touches every aspect of our life. It rips apart our emotions. Our relationships. Our performance at work and school. The ability to enjoy the things we love to do. Our identities.
And The Ghosts We Keep is a book that explores all those aspects through the eyes of a non-binary teenager still reeling from the unsolved hit-and-run that left their brother dead. This story was painful. It hurt to read. It was gut-wrenching. It was raw. It was unfair. But it was also so real.
What broke my heart the most is that The Ghosts We Keep was, in large part, a story of dealing with grief with a microscopic support system. While Liam was hurting, their friends turned their backs on them, their parents were minimally supportive and punished them for the emotions they were feeling, and Marcus (though he had no true obligation to be a support) was hostile and aggressive despite Liam just wanting to help.
Liam had to be strong, and they had to find that strength within themselves as they learned to navigate life without their brother. And not only did Liam lose their brother, they lost their former life. And I think an important part of grief is that we are mourning a past that will no longer be our "normal." The book was incredibly introspective, and the use of flashbacks / the "before" and "after" format really helped emphasize that.
Liam's friends were terrible. And after all was said and done, I was glad they didn't patch things up at the end of the book. Because to me, somehow managing to make things about yourself when a friend has just had their brother killed in an unsolved hit-and-run ... shows what kind of people those "friends" were. Let's offer little to no support to our friend, get quiet whenever our friend comes around, and then get mad when we're called out on it. However, this was a good focus on a different aspect of grief -- the fact that grief is an imposition to some people. When comforting those going through loss, we also need to take time for ourselves. It can be emotionally draining. And that is valid. But when friends shame other people for feeling grief longer than they themselves may feel is necessary, and to make things personal / make it their own narrative -- that is simply you being a jackass.
Honestly, Liam's parents made me mad, as well. Taking away Liam's ability to create music, which was their special form of catharsis, because they were feeling anger -- that upset me. And to threaten Liam with not getting that form of expression back until their grades were back up? While they were struggling with school due in large part to the grief they were feeling? Forcing them to stay home and suffer alone in their room with their painful emotions instead of being in favor of them spending time with friends to help themselves take a break from the ruminating? I would never treat my child like that. And while it's understandable that their parents were also dealing with their own grief, some of that behavior was cruel. Their parents were not understanding. And it made my soul hurt for Liam.
I did see the "twist" coming (not sure if you can call a coming-out revelation a twist), but that added a new layer of complexity to Liam's grief -- moving on with new information and having a million questions come up that you'll never be able to ask someone who's passed away. Because now you're mourning a future that won't ever happen.
It broke my heart that Liam and Marcus never spoke again. When first Liam made a statement to the effect of "we never saw each other again," I thought it was speculation of what may happen -- until I remembered that the book was being told in past tense, and Liam was reliving the events as they happened. I wish they'd have been able to salvage their friendship.
I am glad that we did glimmers of hope at the end of the story. Seeing Liam reconcile with their parents, making new friends, and learning to navigate their life following a tragedy made me so proud of the progress they made as a human.
Overall, I could not put this book down. It demands emotions from the reader, and I felt that I was experiencing grief alongside Liam. It was filled to the brim with sentimental moments, regret, pure anger, and a big dose of melancholia. It was a book that made me feel so many things, and I am so happy I finally picked it up.
Also, Liam had amazing taste in music. Big Thief? Charli XCX? Soccer Mommy? FKA Twigs? Carly Rae Jepsen? A human after my own heart.
And The Ghosts We Keep is a book that explores all those aspects through the eyes of a non-binary teenager still reeling from the unsolved hit-and-run that left their brother dead. This story was painful. It hurt to read. It was gut-wrenching. It was raw. It was unfair. But it was also so real.
What broke my heart the most is that The Ghosts We Keep was, in large part, a story of dealing with grief with a microscopic support system. While Liam was hurting, their friends turned their backs on them, their parents were minimally supportive and punished them for the emotions they were feeling, and Marcus (though he had no true obligation to be a support) was hostile and aggressive despite Liam just wanting to help.
Liam had to be strong, and they had to find that strength within themselves as they learned to navigate life without their brother. And not only did Liam lose their brother, they lost their former life. And I think an important part of grief is that we are mourning a past that will no longer be our "normal." The book was incredibly introspective, and the use of flashbacks / the "before" and "after" format really helped emphasize that.
Liam's friends were terrible. And after all was said and done, I was glad they didn't patch things up at the end of the book. Because to me, somehow managing to make things about yourself when a friend has just had their brother killed in an unsolved hit-and-run ... shows what kind of people those "friends" were. Let's offer little to no support to our friend, get quiet whenever our friend comes around, and then get mad when we're called out on it. However, this was a good focus on a different aspect of grief -- the fact that grief is an imposition to some people. When comforting those going through loss, we also need to take time for ourselves. It can be emotionally draining. And that is valid. But when friends shame other people for feeling grief longer than they themselves may feel is necessary, and to make things personal / make it their own narrative -- that is simply you being a jackass.
Honestly, Liam's parents made me mad, as well. Taking away Liam's ability to create music, which was their special form of catharsis, because they were feeling anger -- that upset me. And to threaten Liam with not getting that form of expression back until their grades were back up? While they were struggling with school due in large part to the grief they were feeling? Forcing them to stay home and suffer alone in their room with their painful emotions instead of being in favor of them spending time with friends to help themselves take a break from the ruminating? I would never treat my child like that. And while it's understandable that their parents were also dealing with their own grief, some of that behavior was cruel. Their parents were not understanding. And it made my soul hurt for Liam.
I did see the "twist" coming (not sure if you can call a coming-out revelation a twist), but that added a new layer of complexity to Liam's grief -- moving on with new information and having a million questions come up that you'll never be able to ask someone who's passed away. Because now you're mourning a future that won't ever happen.
It broke my heart that Liam and Marcus never spoke again. When first Liam made a statement to the effect of "we never saw each other again," I thought it was speculation of what may happen -- until I remembered that the book was being told in past tense, and Liam was reliving the events as they happened. I wish they'd have been able to salvage their friendship.
I am glad that we did glimmers of hope at the end of the story. Seeing Liam reconcile with their parents, making new friends, and learning to navigate their life following a tragedy made me so proud of the progress they made as a human.
Overall, I could not put this book down. It demands emotions from the reader, and I felt that I was experiencing grief alongside Liam. It was filled to the brim with sentimental moments, regret, pure anger, and a big dose of melancholia. It was a book that made me feel so many things, and I am so happy I finally picked it up.
Also, Liam had amazing taste in music. Big Thief? Charli XCX? Soccer Mommy? FKA Twigs? Carly Rae Jepsen? A human after my own heart.