A review by opheliaslittlelibrary
If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin

emotional sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

This book was randomly voted as my next read in my Instagram stories, and my goodness. I was not in any way prepared for what came next.

It looked like a short read (on audiobook, at least) and once it hooked me I was flying through the book. I absolutely loved how short the chapters were, making it so easy to binge read and get through.

It described the teenage experience as best as I could want. The author avoided typical cliches to delve into the emotional side of friendship, first love and experimentation. At times it was laughable, not the author's writing, but the ridiculousness of the teenager's behaviour, mainly they were younger. It wasn't bad, though, because it was pretty accurate I thought.

This was the coming of age story that I never knew I desperately. I can't get it out of my head. It's been a while since I've read a book in under 24 hours, but this book was it. The exploration around alcohol and sexuality was well written, and the mental health rep really topped it off for me. It didn't shy away from the truth of what Autumn was feeling, even when it was ugly or uncomfortable.

The ending was everything. It broke me in the best and worst way possible. It was the finest tragedy I've read in a long time. It was so beautifully written, and the heartbreak is genuine. I am left feeling hungover, and my heart aches every time I am reminded of this book. I need October to arrive as soon as possible, so that the sequel can break me again.