Take a photo of a barcode or cover
bookofcinz 's review for:
We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter
by Celeste Headlee
I first encountered the author when I randomly watched her Ted Talk on how to improve your conversations. I felt that her Ted Talk was engaging and offered really practical tips on how you can be a better conversationalist. I saw this book and I felt it would be great to refresh and improve my conversation skills. Before I continue, if you watched her Ted Talk, honestly you can skip the book because majority of what was said in the Ted Talk was just expounded on in this book.
I found out while reading this book that I am a conversational narcissist … yes I know, I am a horrible person. Sociologist Charles Derber describes this tendency to insert oneself into a conversation as “conversational narcissism.” It’s the desire to take over a conversation, to do most of the talking, and to turn the focus of the exchange to yourself. It is often subtle and unconscious.
Derber writes that conversational narcissism “is the key manifestation of the dominant attention-getting psychology in America. It occurs in informal conversations among friends, family, and coworkers.
So you get why I need to read a book like this and improve? I did enjoy reading this book and I do feel like I will get a physical copy so I can flip to when I feel like my conversations are waning. Here are some advice that Celeste Headless suggests and some things I found interesting.
The business psychiatrist Mark Goulston says we only have about forty seconds to speak during a conversation before we run the risk of dominating the exchange. He describes the first twenty seconds as the green light, when the other person likes you and is enjoying what you have to say. The next twenty seconds are the yellow light, when “the other person is beginning to lose interest or think you’re long-winded.” At forty seconds, Goulston says, the light turns red and it’s time to stop talking.
A great reminder for everyone.
I found out while reading this book that I am a conversational narcissist … yes I know, I am a horrible person. Sociologist Charles Derber describes this tendency to insert oneself into a conversation as “conversational narcissism.” It’s the desire to take over a conversation, to do most of the talking, and to turn the focus of the exchange to yourself. It is often subtle and unconscious.
Derber writes that conversational narcissism “is the key manifestation of the dominant attention-getting psychology in America. It occurs in informal conversations among friends, family, and coworkers.
So you get why I need to read a book like this and improve? I did enjoy reading this book and I do feel like I will get a physical copy so I can flip to when I feel like my conversations are waning. Here are some advice that Celeste Headless suggests and some things I found interesting.
The business psychiatrist Mark Goulston says we only have about forty seconds to speak during a conversation before we run the risk of dominating the exchange. He describes the first twenty seconds as the green light, when the other person likes you and is enjoying what you have to say. The next twenty seconds are the yellow light, when “the other person is beginning to lose interest or think you’re long-winded.” At forty seconds, Goulston says, the light turns red and it’s time to stop talking.
A great reminder for everyone.