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grubbyknees 's review for:
What We Left Behind
by Robin Talley
I have very mixed feelings about this book. Fundamentally I enjoyed it and my 11y.o. non-binary kid loved it, but there are definitely problems.
I thought the central relationship was cute and at the same time depicted how " we never fight" can be an illusion of true love and also a sign of really poor conflict resolution skills and people who aren't really clear enough or confident enough to say what they actually want themself.
Tony's constant overtheorising and deliberation about his identity (and associated stuff like pronouns) rang fairly true to both me and my kid. (But I can see how it slows the book down and might not be interesting for everyone.)
So, problems... the really big one for me is that being genderqueer is depicted as a part of the process of transitioning to a binary identity, not a state of being in itself. For some people I'm sure that's true, but it really bothered me that none of the supportive queer crew around Tony (or for that matter, Gretchen), had a more stable non-binary or genderqueer identity.
Secondly, I felt Gretchen's character was underdeveloped, and there isn't much contemplation of what impact your partner transitioning might have on you own sexual identity. (It's sort of intimated she and Nance might have stuff to talk about but that doesn't really happen).
Third all the characters go to very top tier universities and are stinking rich- they have housekeepers and hop on a plane for an interview in the UK/impromptu coming out/ catch up with the gf-so it's a fantasy which doen't engage with intersectionality more than fleetingly. Main character gets his credit card cut off for about three minutes before mum relents.
Finally, I'm not that comfortable with the fact my 11y.o. read this, because of the amount of binge drinking, but that's somewhat par for the course for first year uni, just a head's up if that's a concern. (The sex and gender issues are totally fine for young teens and even tweens, and the discussion of homophobic/transphobic violence is very general and offstage at the level of "I got bashed up a lot at school" "people hassled him last year").
I thought the central relationship was cute and at the same time depicted how " we never fight" can be an illusion of true love and also a sign of really poor conflict resolution skills and people who aren't really clear enough or confident enough to say what they actually want themself.
Tony's constant overtheorising and deliberation about his identity (and associated stuff like pronouns) rang fairly true to both me and my kid. (But I can see how it slows the book down and might not be interesting for everyone.)
So, problems... the really big one for me is that being genderqueer is depicted as a part of the process of transitioning to a binary identity, not a state of being in itself. For some people I'm sure that's true, but it really bothered me that none of the supportive queer crew around Tony (or for that matter, Gretchen), had a more stable non-binary or genderqueer identity.
Secondly, I felt Gretchen's character was underdeveloped, and there isn't much contemplation of what impact your partner transitioning might have on you own sexual identity. (It's sort of intimated she and Nance might have stuff to talk about but that doesn't really happen).
Third all the characters go to very top tier universities and are stinking rich- they have housekeepers and hop on a plane for an interview in the UK/impromptu coming out/ catch up with the gf-so it's a fantasy which doen't engage with intersectionality more than fleetingly. Main character gets his credit card cut off for about three minutes before mum relents.
Finally, I'm not that comfortable with the fact my 11y.o. read this, because of the amount of binge drinking, but that's somewhat par for the course for first year uni, just a head's up if that's a concern. (The sex and gender issues are totally fine for young teens and even tweens, and the discussion of homophobic/transphobic violence is very general and offstage at the level of "I got bashed up a lot at school" "people hassled him last year").